Pregnant Best Friend

4 Replies
samj - January 31

When i found out i was pregnant my best friend decided that she too, wanted to be pregnant. Low and behold five weeks later she was. I went for my twelve week scan only to find the baby had no heartbeat. This was incredibly hard and has really took its toll on our friendship. I have been good to her and supported her loads as she was worried that the same would happen to her. However, she is distant and doesn't seem to be interested in anything other than her pregnancy. I feel like our friendship is slipping away, and its horrible. She will be twelve weeks on monday.

 

snickelfritz - January 31

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. When I became pg with #2, ALL FOUR of my closest friends were pg. They all went on to have successful pgs but I lost mine at 12.5 weeks. I had different responses from those friends and their response did a lot to determine how much they valued our friendship. One friend was VERY mindful of my loss. She had her husband bring us dinner and a lovely plant and called to check on me, but didn't come to see me (she was VERY pregnant) and didn't ever mention her pregnancy unless I asked. She knew I'd come see her when I was ready. I wasn't ready until a few weeks after her baby was born but she never acted offended... she completely understood. Another friend, on the other hand, behaved atrociously. She decided that *I* was the one she should complain to whenever she gained another pound or felt a little nauseous. I kept wanting to scream that I'd be willing to gain 60 pounds and throw up daily if I could just still be pg. The first friend is one of my best friends still and our friendship is stronger because of how she reacted during that difficult time. The second friend I mentioned is no longer a friend. Her behavior was the first step on a downward slope that showed me that she cared very little for me. I can honestly say that it hurt when our friendship ended, but I really don't miss her at all anymore. Please surround yourself with people who will encourage you and not make it more difficult for you. You need to focus on some self-preservation right now. Also, my close friend was AMAZINGLY helpful when I went on to lose pg #3 at 16 weeks. I hope you have a friend like that who will lift you up and not break you down. Again, I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I'm so sorry about your loss.

 

lil-miss-saunders - January 31

Hi samj, i am very sorry for your loss! I know exactly how you are feeling! I have been pregnant twice and unfortunately i have miscarried both times! Both times i have been pregnant i have had close people pregnant at the same time! The very first time my cousin was pregnant at the same time as me but doesnt live that close so that didnt really bother me, also pregnant was my friends girlfriend ... she was a month behind me and i found it quite difficult to see her grow and progress! Although she was very supportive to me and didnt talk at all about her pregnancy unless i asked! The second time my friend was also pregnant ( a month ahead of me this time ) and i found it very very difficult to deal with it this time ... Although i tried to be supportive to her, seing pictures of her scans and things really did kill me inside although i did not show this! Maybe your friend is just being a good mate and doesnt want to upset you and that is why shes staying away?

 

ahay - February 1

I have a similar situation. Kind of Ironic but I called my best friend to tell her I was pregnant. TOTALLY unplanned. She came over right away with a double pack of Pregnancy Tests to confirm my pregnancy for me and GO figure. She took one and is also pregnant. The horrible thing is that she doesnt even want to be pregnant and isnt even excited. In the meantime I lost mine on the 19th at 7 weeks along. Now I am kind of sad that she is pregnant and I am not. I feel some hostility towards her because I was excited and she isnt. What can I do to help my frustration and when can I try again. My HCG levels were down to 6 on Tuesday.

 

Sam How - February 2

Hi Sam, I know what you are saying it's the same with my friend, I feel really bitter cos my friend has had so many terminations and a couple of STD's and I dont think it's fair, since her getting pregnant she hasn't had much contact with me, when she has all she is doing is complaining about her pregnancy, I find it hard to keep my mouth shut. Im sorry you have to go through this sweetie life is so unfair. Good luckx

 

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