Preparing For My 4th Loss Looking For Help Hope

17 Replies
Kristin72 - September 15

I am 41. I am currently pregnant. I have not had a hb yet. I am 8 w 2 day. Had ultrasounds on 6w5d and 7w5d. The embryo grew to 3mm in that week. My hcg at 7/5 was 13445 and at 8w 16991. My levels are rising but not doubling. I did read that levels stop doubling after 8 weeks. I have a doc appointment in an hour. I am preparing for the worst. I have had a miscarriage '04, a missed miscarriage at 13w5d Dec'05 and an ectopic last Sept '07. I have one 21 month old little girl. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or support for me. I am very sad..and this does not get any easier. My dh is not very supportive..he is telling me "everyone has miscarriages" etc.. This just makes me feel twice as bad..as I am suppose to suck it up. Anyway..I am hoping for the best, but obviously preparing for the worst as that is where things look like they are headed. Thanks anyhelp advice is much appreciated.

 

Tory1980 - September 15

Honey I am not exactly sure what to say but the numbers are sounding good. They don't have to double to have a viabke pregnancy and the fact the baby is growing is also good signs. Not everyone has miscarriages, just the very unfortunate. You have had more than your fair share. Have they said why they think you may be miscarrying? Have they done any kind of testing? I have had two myself and I am in agreement. They don't get easier. As for sucking it up, no you shouldn't. You should grieve each loss as a loss of your baby and hopes and dreams. I am hoping you will have good news after your appontment. please post and let us know how you get on.

 

Kristin72 - September 15

Thank you so much Tory. My doc just told me the numbers are kindof low. Then she rec'd me another us and said we'll take it from there..I am no further a head. I don't know if I should wait a couple of days for the ultrasound or if it would make any diffference at this point. I did not call today as I got home too late..maybe that was purposeful as I am avoiding the inevitable. Thank you again for your words about grieving. You are right I do have a right to grieve my loss..thanks.

 

eclipse - September 16

Kristin, I would not give up hope yet. Are you having other symptoms that lead you to believe you are about to miscarry? If it is just the numbers, keep in mind that every pregnancy is different and the dates could be wrong or many other factors. As for your husband, kick him in the head for me. I hate that att_tude. Unfortunately, I also know the heartbreak of miscarriage and you have a right to grieve and mourn any loss, no matter when it occurs. Make that ultrasound appointment!! Do it now!!! NOW!! Ok, sorry, I work overnights and get a little caffeinated. Keep us posted. Keep your chin up, sweetie!

 

Kristin72 - September 16

Thank you eclipse..I appreciate your note to me..I will update when I know more.

 

Kristin72 - September 17

well..it's all over...embryo did not grow from last week and heart was still not beating. The doc showed me hte yolk sac fetal pole and tiny little embryo..she showed me how the heart was not beating. anyway..I am off to get my advice on whether I will have a D&C or drugs to help things along..

 

jademaiden - September 17

Hi Kristin, I really feel for you. I have had 4 miscarriages as well. Are you seeing an RE? Have you had a miscarriage panel done to check of clotting factors, immunological issues, or karyotyping? The only thing that has helped me get through my m/c's is empowering myself with information, doing more research and demanding all the tests to be done. It helps you focus on the future and getting back up on the saddle again. I don't have any live births myself, so it's all I can do if I ever want a child.

 

Kristin72 - September 17

they want me to have the apo-misoprostol...jademaiden...thank you for your sympathy. It just doesn't get easier..I feel like a bag of you no what right now..but I already got on the phone to make an appointment with a specialist. I have to go to the emerg right now to go and get a rhogam shot as I am rh-. I will ask about the testing..thank you so much. I wish you best of luck in your future. :(

 

Kristin72 - September 17

oh btw jadem..I haven't actually miscarried..yet..so I am not sure about the clotting issues. I know nothing about immunilogcal stuff either..with every loss it has been a different reason..most of them probably to do with my age who knows I am41. I will check into those things though..thank you agian..best of luck..excuse my typing i am in a real rush.

 

eclipse - September 18

Kristin, I am SO SORRY, I really thought that it was going to be ok. I am really upset for you. I agree with jade, you should definitely go to a specialist, get the genetic counseling, the whole thing. I have been there and sat there and looked at that devastating ultrasound, nothing is worse. :( If there is anything I can do, let me know, and I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

deniseb - September 18

Hi Kristin, I am really sorry for your loss. It gets harder and harder each time. I have had 5 losses, I am 39 and have a 6 yr old ds. I had one loss prior to my ds and 4 losses between age 35 - 38. I am not sure if you had the fetus tested if you opted for a D&C. I did and all had abnormalities. We had all the genetic testing done and everything came up clear. I have no physical issues. So everything pointed to bad eggs (which we all have, mixed in with the good. As you know with age there is more room for error. The good news is, I tiried one more time and I am currently 15 weeks pregnant. All testing so far shows a healthy baby. I have no secrets as to why this one worked and the others did not, it is like Russian Roulette. It is really hard to keep trying, but I hope my story helps you. Take Care and Good Luck

 

Kristin72 - September 20

Hi denise, Thank you so much..I took my misoprotol on Wed afternoon to start the demise..started to miscarry that evening. The bleeding has weaned off a bit now. I can only look to the future now. I will try again soon when my cycle is back to normal. Your story has inspired me..Best of luck with your pregnancy :) I am very happy for you!! :)

 

deniseb - September 20

Hi Kristin, hang in there and keep trying. That's all I can really tell you. A doc told me once "Brave women are alwyas rewarded" so keep that in mind. Best of Luck in the future.

 

Kristin72 - September 24

Hello..Just a quick update..I am on my 7th dayof bleeding..I have past quite a few large clots..but it seems that the bleeding is getting a bit less. However, there has been quite alot of blood loss. I have been feeling very tired..and week. I am suppose to get my blood drawn today to make sure my hcg levels are going down. I am still heartbroken over my loss but am looking to the future for a positive outcome..hoping things will go better "next time" Anyway, that's it for me now..thank you Denise, Tory, eclipse, jaidenmaiden for responding to my post. I swish you all the best !! :)

 

deniseb - September 25

Hi Kristin, thanks for the update. I am glad to hear the bleeding is less, it sounds like you are over the worst. It is so difficult, very painful process. I wish you nothing but the best for the future.

 

Garys Girl - September 28

im sure you are so tired of hearing "im sorry" because i know i sure am, i lost my twin daughters in august, i was 25 weeks, i had to go thru delivery and everything, my husband dosnt want to try again, im obsessed with the whole idea of being pregnant as i should still be pregnant, losing a child no matter how soon or late is the most devestating thing you will ever go thru, i know its the hardest thing i have ever done, i have 4 other children, but i still greive the ones i lost, they were perfectly normal according to the amnio... they had twin to twin transfusion syndrome, and i had to have surgery to fix it, the surgery did what it was supposed to, but kailee died because a blood clot developed beside her umbilical cord, and kilee just didnt have enough placenta to survive, i lost them a week apart, and was induced into labor. i will try again, thats all i can do to try to fill this void, my husband isnt quite on board, but i believe he will let me so i dont have to suffer so much. i know i will never replace them, but i have this nagging NEED to be pregnant, i had a miscarraige a yr. befor the twins, so in two yrs. i have lost 3 children, and you are right it never gets easier, only harder, just pray for paitence, thats when God sends us children... i hope your future is filled with many babies... hope it happens soon as do i hope it happens for me... good luck and much baby dust to you and everyone else who is trying to complete their families... :o)

 

austin-our-sweet-angle - September 28

hi GARY'S GIRLS, you are right about it getting hard after more then one lost baby now that you lost your three the doc's should doing test and look at you as a high risk preg next time you ttc again in the future.shower you baby dust and prayer's

 

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