Relationship With Husband

5 Replies
Jill - March 31

I want to try to get pregnant right away, but some people are saying that I should give myself time to grieve ( a few months most say). They don't know that I want to ttc right away, but when they say I need time, I feel like I shouldn't try. Also, I feel more distant from husband at times. When I feel that way, I wonder how I can possibly want to try again because it wouldn't be fair to a baby. Has anyone else felt this way. I find myself torn between waiting and trying right away, as well as worrying that this might happen again.


Sarah - March 31

Does your husband want to try again? Everyone tells me to wait a few months too. You want to make sure that your body is ready physically. I hope that your relationship with your husband is ok, but I do thingk its normal to a___lize everything and feel vulnerably that your always thinking of the worst! I always think of the worst of everything- and people always tell me I shouldnt be so negitive:) but after a horrible thing to happen like a m/c how can you be so positive? right? Just know that for the most part a m/c wont happen again and its ok to have all these mixed emotions but seriously,, I want to try again now but know physically Im not gonna screw it up because my bodys not ready yet, Also know that guys sometimes arent as open about the loss as we are my husband got in a fight after the m/c and he blew up and said how upset he was and how bad he felt and how horrible he feels about the baby and know one ever thought about his feelings or asked HIM how he felt! WoW see I never knew how sad he was he was to busy being strong for me!!


stacey - March 31

I think both things are normal! I wanted to start right away, but also felt withdrawn from hubby. It's because (or was in our case) he didn't/couldn't understand what I went through. Yes, the loss was his as well, but it wasn't his body, so it was easier for him to push it to the back of his mind and deal with it quietly. That said...we started right away- well, after 2 weeks and that helped me heal thinking I could possibly get pregnant right away again.


Kara - March 31

At first I wanted to get pregnant right away. But as a few weeks pa__sed, my feelings changed a bit. I am eight weeks out from the m/c. I had my first period 2 1/2 weeks ago and ovulated last weekend. We have chosen to let these next few months pa__s without trying. Partially to give my body time to get back to normal, but mostly out of respect for the baby we lost. He was a person - our little person - and now he's gone. I now realize that no pregnany is ever going replace the baby I lost. We have chosen to take this time to reflect on how our baby forever changed us before we try to make a sibling for our first baby. Also be patient with your relationship with your husband. Ours has just started to feel normal again just in the last few weeks. Best wishes!


Melissa - April 1

I think whatever you and your husband think is best is fine but just be sure you agree and have the same feelings. I just miscarried but I am also wondering when I can try again. I am also worried about maybe happening again but maybe it happened so the next baby has a chance to thrive. Kinda like an angel (the lost baby) maybe I am sounding strange but my sister in law said this and I am wondering if one mc leads to a healthful pregnancy afterwords if it was a way of preparing your body to accept the pregancy. Pregancy is foreign to the body so the body needs to learn how to treat it. Maybe I am far off but just a thought. Hope things work out for you and your husband.


Petra - April 1

We all talk about our husbands not understanding what we go thru. That's because they just don't ... We feel our body change and feel all the symptoms. Women get obsessed with pregnancy it seems... Thet's why this forum is great. We can vent and talk about whatever we feel. And the best part is that we all feel the same and understand. I did not really decide if we would try again right away. But the wonderfull thing is that you body will take the time to heal. First wait for your periode to come again and for me this was enough time to heal... (I think,) we'll see what happens next week because I just ovulated this week and can't wait to see if it worked..... Jill, just hang in there, and talk to your husband. He may not understand but he needs to know what is going on with you. Good luck..



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