Should I Have Been Given A Choice To Have A D Amp C

8 Replies
Stacy - September 6

I found out last Friday i had a MMC. They sent me home with some pain meds and said it didn't happen by Tues. to come in for a D&C. They told me it would be uncomfortalbe. I was 8 1/2 weeks. It was the most pain I have ever had in my life. Not only did my baby die, I felt like I was going to die. It sounds to me like everyone else had a D&C or just a few bad cramps. Why was mine so bad? Should they have asked me if i wanted a D&C or wait it out?

 

Tracy - September 6

Hi Stacy- I'm so sorry about what you've had to go through. I guess none of us really know the right answer to your question. I know from reading others posts about their experience that often women are given a choice but often times they follow the direction of their doctor and then have to suffer the consquences and because you are really in a state of shock during this entire process, you tend to just not question what the doctor is advising you to do. In my situation, I was about 11 weeks (no heartbeat found on the routine ultrasound), and my doctor discussed my "options" with me at that point. She said I could wait for it to progress naturally but it could take weeks and it would not be an easy experience or I could have a D&C two days later. I chose the D&C on the advice of my mid-wife who was blunt with me. She told me honestly that there was going to be a lot of tissue to pa__s and it would not be good idea to wait it out. My doctor was not as forthcoming about what I would expect to experience if I had waited for it to happen naturally. I've also heard that many women need to have a D&C to remove remaining tissue anyway. I don't know if most people just experience bad cramps but I've heard others say that it was also one of the worst pain experiences they have had so I'm not sure if what you experienced was out of the ordinary. I know I didn't give you much of an answer but I wanted to give you my thoughts and tell you that I'm sorry.

 

Cabbie - September 6

I too had to wait over a weekend. I found out I needed a d&c on a Friday, but had to wait until Wednesday of the next week because this was my drs first surgery day . He does his surgeries (that aren't life threatning) on Wed. and Thurs. Perhaps that is why they said come back on Tuesday.

 

Q - September 7

Stacy, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I've found differing opinions. For my first m/c, I told my doctor and ER that I wanted to have a natural miscarriage. It was painful and sad (lasted about 3 hours), but I don't regret choosing a natural m/c. During my second m/c, I opted for a d&c, as I had waited three weeks for a natural m/c and it was not happening. It was much easier and I insisted that I have an ultrasound before going in. My doctor supported all of my decisions - he is a wonderful doctor. My surgeon for the d&c seemed very surprised that "doctors even allowed natural miscarriages anymore." He insisted that d&c's were much safer and that natural m/c's were no longer recommended. ?!?

 

Kate - September 7

Stacy - Hi. I am sorry for your loss. I think you should have been given the choice... it is your decision not the doctors. I had a m/c in March at 12 weeks (baby died at 11). I was scheduled for a D&C two days after I found that their was no h/b. I had to go in to an emergency D&C a day earlier because I started to bleed really bad. It was also very painful. I have a 2 year old and went through natural labor with her. I almost want to say that the m/c was more painful because there was so much pain emotionally a__sociated with the m/c - you weren't waiting for a beautiful baby to be born . I was very glad I had the D&C - I wish I had it a day earlier... I think the pain emotionally was tough enough for me to deal with.... I am glad you are through with the physical part of your m/c. The emotional part takes time and you get better (I won't say heal because I don't think you ever forget the baby that should be in your life). I wish you the best of luck.. xoxoxo

 

anon from pa - September 7

I am very sorry to all of you for your losses, to let you all know though, I had a natural m/c when I was 15 at 5 weeks and the dr never did an u/s or d&c and it was not until I was 20 and sure I would never get pregnant again that I found out(when it broke loose on its own) that there was scar tissue left from the m/c that had been blocking my ability to get pregnant. So, I am recomending that you have your drs make sure to check that there is not any scarring left.

 

Kate - September 7

Stacy - To give you hope.. I forgot to add that I am now almost 17 weeks pregnant and all is good!

 

Kelly - September 11

Stacy- Hi. I just went through my 2nd miscarriage. The 1st one was a d&c, the 2nd was natural... and that was only because it happened on a weekend! My MD gave me the choice w/ the 1st one, but didn't persuade me either way. I was shocked how painful the natural way was... physically and emotionally. The d&c was easier than going to the dentist. Your doctor should have given you a choice, and some more education. But considering it was Friday, and technically not an emergency, I see why they sent you home. I guess you really have to be your own advocate and demand all the info you can get. Hope your feeling better. Good luck.

 

Alison - September 12

Stacy I am so sorry for your loss and the horrible pain you have gone through. I have suffered 3 miscarriages and each time have chosen not to have D&C as I prefer to avoid surgery. As mine were also missed M/C I took the pills to bring on contractions each time as they said it could take weeks to happen on it's own. I also found the pain unbearable. I don't know if having taken pills to contract made it worse but each time I was on very strong painkillers and oh my did it hurt I was in agony & totally sympathise with you. Please know you are not alone-I know it is of little comfort though. I do think they should have given you the choice of a D&C. I was asked which "way" I wanted to go with my losses I think they should have given you the option without sending you home first. I am so sorry again for your loss of your precious baby-wishing you healing and strength and a healthy pregnancy next time. Take care xxx

 

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