Should I Name The Baby

9 Replies
Kira_lynn - July 11

My dh and i are going on tuesday for an induction ( 17 weeks) and I dont know if its something people do when they have something like this happen. I dont really want to, we just think of the baby as "the baby". Im so confused with all my emotions.

 

littlenurse73 - July 11

Kira_lynn I've been reading about your posts and can't imagine what it must be like. I'm so sorry for your losses. I guess in answer to your question....I personally would name the child. Mainly because you are never going to forget him/her. I had girl and boy names picked out for the baby I lost on June 30th. I was only 10 1/2 weeks and not far enough to know the s_x of my baby. Therefore, I can only think of my loss as "my baby". Given the chance I would love to know whether the little bean would have been a girl or boy and to put a name to them.

 

Kira_lynn - July 11

thanks littlenurse, my husband and i love the name max, but dont want to give it to this baby. We dont know what the s_x is either, but i guess we might find out later.

 

kellywall - July 11

Kira_lynn.....i have been following your posts and my heart goes out to you and your DH. I had my m/c at 6w 3d and I was so upset...I can't imagine how hard it must be for you at 17 weeks. I think I agree with littlenurse about naming the baby. It may give you some closure and if nothing else when you are talking about him or her it will give the baby an ident_ty. Maybe save the name Max for your next lil one and find another name with some meaning...good luck and please know that you will be in my prayers.

 

littlenurse73 - July 11

Maybe Max could be a middle name for this child...

 

sahmof3 - July 11

So sorry to hear you are going through all of this. My DH and I suffered the m/c of our first pregnancy at ten weeks. We did name the baby, though we didn't know the s_x. His/her name was Jordan Chris- gender neutral since we didn't know. I'll say a little prayer for you for next Tuesday!

 

Sian1 - July 11

I lost my son at around 18 weeks (13th june, 2001) I was induced and I did name him. I named him Jaiden Leigh. As Kellywall said, it does give the baby an ident_ty. My baby was cremated so his name was also put on his certificate of cremation. Its totally up to you.Im so sorry for your loss.

 

menalyn - July 12

Hello Kira_lynn! I know how you feel! 10 months ago, I was induced, I was 20 weeks pregnant with a little boy. He had severe spina bifida and sever brain damage. This baby is a part of you and your dh. We had a gender neutral named picked out from the beginning (Carson), and I felt that since this was the name we had choose for that pregnancy, I felt I owed it to that baby to give it to him. I felt that if we were to have another, I wouldn't feel the same about the name Carson because it would be a constant reminder of what I lossed. We already have a ds named Taylor John, so since Carson was a boy, we finished his name as Carson John. He was cremated, but still lives in our hearts. It's a very hard and emotional rollercoaster you experience when losing a child. I did however find that it helped that we took pictures of him and with him. I've made a memorial for him on canvas with my scan photos, photos of him at the hospital and copies of his feet and hand prints with the poem twinkle twinkle. We have it hanging on our wall, and yes i still get emotional from time to time when i look at it. But I know that even though i can't see my baby again in this life, he is with me, and one day i will see him again. My ds still remembers me being pregnant, and often asks where Carson has gone. We tell our ds that god needed more little stars in the sky, and he choose Carson to be one. Taylor enjoys looking out the window at night and singing twinkle twinkle to Carson. I can't say that the pain ever goes away, but it does become more managable. It has helped me loads since joining this site, all the ladies on here are brilliant, and full of support. There isn't anybody who can understand what you and your dh are going through apart from people who have done it themselves. Your dh needs to remember that this has happened to him aswell, and he shouldnt' bottle it up like most men like to do. My dh has been terrible for it, and for awhile our relationship suffered for it. We are back on track now, but make sure you talk about it together. This was both of your baby, and he needs to understand it will be different for you because you did carry your baby, and the hormones after feel like they take over. Anything you need babe, i'm here! My heart goes out to you! If you just need a shoulder to cry on, or somewhere to vent, this is the place! Take care, and keep me posted on how your doing! (((BIG HUGS)))

 

Trixiedoodle - July 12

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have also suffered m/c's but as missed miscarriages, not exactly the same. I can't imagine what you are going through. In reagrds to your question I can give you an example of what my cousin did for her lost angel. She gave birth very premature to Rylee Faith, approx 21 weeks I think. She held on for about 2 weeks before she pa__sed. Not the same as your situation but my cousin has built a beautiful memorial to her daughter. She has a little shelf hanging in her home with a collage of items the baby was given, premie hat, mits, her hospital bracelet, etc, along with little stufties etc that were given to watch over her by the rest of the family. There is a framed poem and whatever else she had. My cousin felt that this was her daughter, that she was & still is a part of her family although she is no longer with them. This is how she deals with her grief & how she includes Rylee in her life even now. This may not be how you choose to deal with your loss, everyone is different & this may not help you. It is a constant reminder, but it works for her. In your heart you will find your own way. There is no wrong or right way to greive, do what you feel is right. My prayers are with you.

 

DownbutnotOUT - July 16

I found out I lost my baby May 15, 2006 I was suppose to be 11 weeks 1 day but baby pa__sed away at 6 weeks and 6 days. Well I dont know the s_x but I broke down crying hystreically the other day and told DH without a name I feel I cant properly grieve. So me and DH decided to name the baby ALEX, its a unis_x name and this way I can cry for my baby Alex , my angel that grew wings.

 

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