Should I Tell My Boss I Am Miscarrying

5 Replies
J - February 18

I am having my second m/c at 7 weeks. my last m/c about 1 year ago, was so mentally traumatic that I could not really go back to work after 1 week, I found it so difficult to talk about this with the people around you and I didn't want to hear their 'Sorry' . This time I did not tell anybody at work that I am pregnant and wanted to wait till the first trimester is up. But this is happening again. Had severe cramping and bleeding yesterday but did not see the tissue passed. Asked a sick off today as I don't think I am in the right mood to work today. Will had an u/s Monday, I am afraid I will have to do a D&C, and then will have to ask for a couple more days off, I am all by myself, my husband is in US and I am in Canada. Should I tell my boss and my HR coordinator what is happening to me? I really fear to see how they would respond to it, all will make me cry more. Does anyone have gone through this?

 

kate - February 18

I would not tell your boss...I chose to tell those it was necessary to.."minor surgury"..will be fine.People will say odd comments and if their are children around or pregnant women..eyes will be on you...pa__s on that, ty.

 

J - February 18

thank you kate. "minor surgery" is very good suggestion, I like that. My colleagues are very nice and understanding, but I really don't want them to know about this. I feel in this matter, you can't expect to get comfort even from best friend unless they had same experience. They don't really understand the sense of loss. I think I will feel better and heal faster without having to deal with those kind/"odd" sympathy when I get back to work.

 

S- - February 18

Kate, that's a great idea. I ended up telling my boss when I had my D&E, but they knew I was pregnant. That was 3 weeks ago, and today I still had someone asking me about the baby. J- you were smart not to tell. I'm not sure if I will the next time around,

 

mulgajill - February 18

personal "health issues of a female nature" will be enough imfo, if your boss is male, he will not want to know any more details. And i feel for you, it is very traumatic, the crying is grief & hormones... as for Having To Do an D&C... well, i never had one because it was my choice not to (prefered natural).... though one doctor did try and pressure me to have one until he found out i have no health insurance... Remember it is YOUR choice, and i did have successful pregnancy after m/c no2... My m/c were around 11 weeks and there was no discernable 'tissue', just heavy bleeding and cramping, easing off on about the 4th day to normal period type bleeding, then stopping at about a week, cycle resumed 4 weeks after start of m/c. At 7 weeks i would not think you would be pa__sing tissue... more likely a heavy period type thing.....Dont forget the light at the end of the tunnel... a baby may be just around the next corner...

 

J - February 19

you are right, my boss is a young male, I don't think he wants to know details about women's thing either -:). for D&C, I am a bit scared even though I know it is a small surgery, I do prefer the natural way believing that does less harm to the uterus. my last m/c was at 6 weeks, i had heavier cramping and bleeding than this time, after one round of severest cramping, I saw the tissue like thing - the sac I think come out. considering this time is 1 week or so further out, what is my chance of getting everything pa__sed naturally? the cramping eased off yesterday, and i only have period like bleeding now --getting less and less too.

 

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