Starting TTC Again In June Excited But Terrified

140 Replies
JuJu - June 4

Well, here I am again.....my DH and I are about to officially enter our first month of ttc, and I just wanted to see if there was anyone else out there who wanted to join me on the 'ttc again wagon'!! After 2 miscarriages this year (Jan and March), I am very excited, but naturally terrified about the prospect of being pregnant again. Bit of background on me; I am 31 with a fab DH and 19-month old DD; I live in Sydney, Australia and am about to move to Melbourne. I lost both my babies this year at around 7-8 weeks, and testing has revelaed that I am positive to cardiolipin antibodies (an autoimmune disorder), which has probably been the reason for the miscarriages. I have been working towards getting healthy and happy again, and I am now at the point where I am feeling ready to go again!! Looking forward to hearing from you, jujuXO

 

Happiness to come - June 4

HI JuJu, so sorry for you losses. My name is Amy and I am 32 years old. My dh and I got married almost a year ago. We began ttc in Jan and fell preg. in Feb. This preg. ended in a m/c in April at 10w4d. I began spotting at 6 weeks, we got an u/s, saw the baby and heard the HB. I began bleeding a little heavier around 10 weeks and went back for another u/s and the baby had no HB. I miscarried naturally and also had a d&e. My dr. told me to wait 2 cycles to ttc again. I have had my first cycle and expect my 2nd cycle on 6/13. That puts me at o'ing around 6/25. I am also excited to ttc again but nervous as well!Would love to wait with you!! Baby Dust to you! Good Luck and I look forward to hearing from you during this exciting time! Amy

 

kiza - June 5

Hi JuJu, I was just was responding to you on another thread (ttc after m/c #4 ) I think. I forget too many to remember. My history 6yrdd, 4yrds/dd twins,stillborn dd10/04at 20wks,m/c 8 wks dec04, m/c 5 weeks march 05, ds born at 21 weeks 8/5/06 diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and pa__sed away after 7 hours. I live in South Australia and will be seeing my obgyn tomorrow to get final autopsy results, seeing genetisist on the 20th and if all is good will be ttc straight away. I'm still waiting for my 1st af since the birth of ds,so you girls have a bit of a head start on me. Sorry to you both for the experiences you have had, I don't think there are any words of comfort except that the women on here know how you are feeling and do really care. Look forward to waiting with you guys. Take care Kiza

 

kiza - June 5

Sorry it was ( help getting through m/c #4 )

 

Julie.N - June 5

Hi JuJu, Amy & Kiza, Sorry to you all for your losses. Mind if I join you? My name is Julie I am 26 with DH & DD. I am from England. I had m/c in April and have only just got af 8 weeks later. I am realy excited to ttc again, emotional and scared at the same time. I feel as if i have been on an emotional rollercoaster over these pa__sed through months, which i am sure you can all relate to!!! Heres wishing us all the best of luck and that June will be a lucky month for us all! xx

 

kiza - June 5

Hi Julie, yes I'm hoping this will be a lucky thread and a lucky month. Sorry to here of your loss, but hopefully we can support each other through whatever lies in store for us.

 

fara - June 5

HI Juju.. i'm glad yr getting round to ttc-ing again :) yeah & i hope you'll get preggy & have a wonderful pregnancy & then a healthy litle one!... so do take care..eat lots of good stuff & rest well. ru gonna be on bedrest when u get pregnant?

 

hcw - June 5

Hi JuJu, Amy, Kiza and Julie - mind if I join you? I'm so sorry for all the sorrows each of you have experinced, but maybe together we can help each other face the next steps to more sunny paths. Although I've never posted to you JuJu, I wanted to let you know that I have great admiration for you - I've read many of your posts over the last few months and your courage and strength are really an inspiration. As for me, I'm 39, from Canada but currently living in New York, married to dh in 09/05. He's the same age as me and so we wasted no time in trying to start a family - we got pg on our first try in january this year, but after some on and off spotting, we m/c'd naturally at 11 weeks in March. Finally got first a/f in late April and so, since my doctor said we could try again right away, we gave it a go in May. We were travelling in Asia (a belated honeymoon that was just wonderful!) so didn't know exactly when I o'd and got a/f in May 27 so we know that didn't work. Now here we are again, on the sperm meets egg plan and hoping for the best, next weekend should be prime time... but I too am terrified - both that I will not and that I will get pg! As an older woman, I am endlessly worried that I've waited too long...I ask myself all the time if the m/c was age-related... which makes me triple nervous that even if I can get pg that the only outcome will be m/c due to age...anyway, trying to stay post_tive here, right! all the statistics say we've all got a great chance of having healthy, bouncing babies and that's what counts. So best of luck to all you wonderful women - look forward to bfp's for all of us!

 

fara - June 5

i lost the 1st in dec 05,then the 2nd in may 06.. i dont know if i'll be trying just yet..i'm realli scared.. i may try again in a few months..i guess,i just wanna make sure i'm healthy enuf 1st.. i wish i cd join u guys now too..but i cant.. :(

 

kal30 - June 5

Hi Ladies, I would like to join you. My name is Kim and I have been TTC for 13 years. I tried for 7 years with my now ex-husband and have been currently trying for 6 years with my DH. I found out that I was pregnant on February 21 of this year and saw they heartbeat via ultrasound on March 15 @ 7 weeks. I had another ultrasound on April 4 @ 10 weeks. They told me that there was no heartbeat and that I had a missed miscarriage. The baby didn't grow past the 7 week ultrasound. My DH and I are devastated. I pa__sed the baby on April 8th and have been waiting for AF since. I am now taking progesterone to bring on my cycle. Once it starts, I have to go for an ultrasound on day three, bloodwork and start taking my Femara. Hopefully it won't take as long this time as it did for the first one. I am so sorry for your losses and I hope we all get BFP soon.

 

HopefulK - June 5

Hi Juju and ladies, I'm trying again next month for the first time while we are on hols. We lost our daughter at 28 wks last Nov, got pg again in Feb, had missed miss at the end of March and a D&C the next day. I'm so glad to hear your ready to try again. I'm terrified at the prospect of trying again, so many hurdles, getting pg, then getting a heartbeat, then 12 wk us, then 20 wks then everything else. But I'm determined to be positive about the next time. So here's to all us brave women getting on with it again. Hoping and praying we are all lucky. Fingers crossed for the June ladies, keep us updated. xx

 

Happiness to come - June 5

Hi Everyone...so sorry for all of our losses! This has to be a healthy, positive thread for us all! It is nice to hear that we are all excited but at the same time extremely nervous! DH and I actually bd one time this month during my fertile time so I guess there is a very small chance that I could be pg. I am only 6 dpo and don't feel any symptoms. We will see! Take care

 

kiza - June 5

Hello, Kal30, Fara, hcw, Hopefeulk, Happinesstocome, sorry for everyones losses and heartbreaks. Everyone seems to feeling positive about ttc again even if we are terrified at the same time. I'm off to obgyn today to get final autopsy results on my son ( suspected Trisomy 13 born at 21 weeks lived 7 hours ). I'm hoping it might put to rest a few nagging questions that still flood my mind. I'll post back once I've seen her and I'll let you all know how I got on. Take care. xxxxx

 

cbella - June 5

Hello-mind if I join you too? I have talked with a few of you on other threads I believe, or it seems so b/c I read them all the time! My dh and I have somewhat started ttc again after an ectopic pg in March. I say somewhat b/c I've read it's best to wait 3 months, but my dr. said 1 month was ok. It's been 2 so we're right in the middle and scared to death (but so excited at the same time). Here's to a lucky month for us all :)

 

kiza - June 6

Well I just got back from seeing my doc about the final autopsy results. Not the news I wanted to hear. They have now decided that in fact he did not have Trisomy 13 and they are not sure what went wrong but it wasn't chromosonal. In a way good news that my eggs and dh's sperm is ok but bad news is it is just another one of those bad luck things that happens sometimes for no reason blah blah blah, same story I got told last time. She did a__sure me that I did the right thing by being induced early as his brain was very under developed, along with the hypoplastic heart and cleft lip and palate she said his chances were still incompatible with life. Unfortunately because it is not a genetic problem there is no way of testing any earlier with the next pregnancy to see whether anything abnormal is happening. I can have a scan at 12weeks and 16 weeks to see if there are any markers but it is still not till the 20 week scan that they identify any real problems. Without knowing why it happenend they said perhaps a 3%to 10% chance of something happening again. Sorry for venting girls I was just realy hoping for a definite answer and a solution to the problem. Thinking of you all .xxxxxx

 

Julie.N - June 6

Hi girls, Hope everyone is doing ok today. Kiza, so sorry you had more bad news at the docs. like the doc said I'm sure you made the right decision to be induced early, if it was going to save your darling ds from more pain. I know it must have been a heartbreaking decision for you. If you can try and take comfort in the fact that you had him for those few very precious hours, you will always have that memory and that will be with you forever! I am praying for a healthy baby for you very soon. xxx

 

JuJu - June 6

So great to hear from you all!!! I just wish I had been able to write sooner - we are leaving for Melbourne today so the past couple of days have been insanely busy. Definitely keeps my mind off things! Apologies in advance for the size of my thread - I think it's going to be a monster!!! Well, I was looking to start ttc this month, but so far it is CD 19+ and I still haven't ovulated - very frustrating!!! Amy; so sad to read of your loss; but love your 'forum' name - very forward-thinking! I was similar to you with my m/c's, in that I had an u/s and saw the HB etc....then miscarried a few weeks later. It has definitely changed my view of ultrasounds in pregnancy.....I used to see them as a benchmark after which I could relax and enjoy the pregnancy.....but I now know that and u/s doesn't guarrantee anything! I am hoping that I will be able to relax (next time!) when I am in my second trimester, but something tells me that until I have that little bub in my arms, I will always worry a little.... I guess it's just a matter of keeping the worry under control :) Kiza; it's reading a story like yours that brings some perspective into my life; I can't begin to imagine what you've been through, losing 4 babies. You must have amazing personal strength, to deal with all that and try to raise a family too! Finding out about what went wrong in a pregnancy is always a double-edged sword......it's hard to hear a reason for a miscarriage - but then it's also hard to find out that there wasn't a reason! When I found out about my situation (autoimmune) I was simultaneously relieved and heartbroken, to know that I was probably the cause of my babies deaths. So now I am doing everything I can (without turning obsessive!) to prevent another m/c. Anyway, so good to cross paths with another Aussie! Hi Julie; it took me ages to get my af too.....just another frustration to deal with! I am very excited about ttc again, but I know that as soon as I see those 2 pink lines on the hpt; the anxiety will kick in. That's why this forum is so fantastic - somewhere where we can share our good days and bad - without judgement. Pregnancy after miscarriage is not easy, and the best support is usually found amongst people who have suffered similarly. So welcome to the fold girls!! Fara; babydust to you too! I don't have to be on bedrest next time - it won't help my problem unfortunately. Because my cardiolipin antibodies have dropped to low, my OB wants me to try a 'medication free' pregnancy on more time.....and if I did miscarry again (god forbid!) then I would have to have daily Heparin injections for my first trimester. But hopefully I won't have to go through that! HCW; you are so sweet; but really the inspiration for me has been the stories of everyone else! I find it so humbling, and so wonderful to connect with people here - I never thought I would be a regular visitor to any kind of internet forum, but really, this year it has been a godsend. I think I would be a lot worse off it it weren't for the girls here. And just on the age thing........I personally know many women who have had healthy, beautiful babies at your age and older, so don't let that worry you. I am sure that by the end of this thread you will have a precious bundle in your arms! Kal; I am so sorry about your miscarriage - after ttc for so long is must be especilly difficult. My m/c were 'missed' m/c's also - my body seems to be reluctant (like my mind!) to let my babies go. All the best with ttc - it sounds like you've got a strong plan which is great! Sending big handfuls of bub-dust to you!HopefulK; so wonderful to cross paths with you again too! I've told you this before HopefulK, but you are just amazing, in how you've coped with the past year - I hope that I have even half your courage..... so wonderful to have you here :) Hi CBella; yup, this is definitely the right thread for you if you're ttc and very nervous! Looking forward to getting on this journey together :) Big {{HUGS}} to all, JuJuXO

 

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