Still Feeling A Quot Loss Quot 4 Months Post D Amp C

4 Replies
Allison - November 27

Just when I think I am feeling ok after my m/c, something just happens and I am sad.. I had a D&C in July at 11.5 weeks. I would be around 7 months right now. Went to get my eyebrows waxed last week and the girl who did it is pregnant and due 3 days after I would have been. We are TTC again...now I am more anxious then ever to get pregnant..when will it get easier??

 

Stef - November 27

Healing is a journey not an event. It will ge better....time is the key. Just be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. I have had 3 m/c. 1 D&C...on valentines day no less. It was very hard....but my wonderful dh and many prayers got me through. I just m/c again the week before Thanksgiving. We were so sure this was the one...sadly it wasn't. My sister-in-law is pregnant right now....we were a month apart. That is the very hardest part right now. So I must walk through this with grace and trust that our time for a baby is coming. It's hard. In fact I came to this forum today because I was feeling really down. But talking about it and sharing with others who understand is helpful. Good luck to you and try to remember in God's time it will happen.

 

gina - November 27

Dear Allison, I lost my baby at 22 weeks on Sept. 4. I completely understand how you are feeling right now. I keep seeing women who are pregnant (they seem to be everywhere) and I feel so lost and alone. To top it off, the doc who did the D & E after my baby died left some tissue in my uterus which has caused alot of scar tissue and infection that we only just found out about 2 weeks ago. So the future is very uncertain right now. But we have to have faith that whatever we are going through right now is exactly what needs to happen in order for us to be emotioanlly and spiritually ready when our babies finally come to us, however and whenever that may happen. Please know you are not alone and that whenever I pray for a baby, I will include you and all the other women just like us in my prayers. We have to not let the fear overcome us, otherwise we actually will create the very situation we are afraid of. Best of luck.

 

Kara - November 28

Allison - Its been 10 months since my d/c at 15 weeks. (sounds like I am at confession, doesn't it?) My baby would be 4 months old now, and I still get emotional. I am having a really hard time with the holidays this year since we had just found out that I was pregnant last Thanksgiving. I have had 2 more m/c in these last 10 months, but first one definitely cut the deepest emotionally. Grief is certainly a process. I will make great progress, only to end up swimming in grief again. I have found that the more I try it suppress it, the worse it gets. (like yelling and screaming at a young pregnant lady I saw smoking - yikes!) For me, I need to be forthcoming with those in my inner circle that I have hit a rough patch again. So be patient with yourself and aknowledge your feelings. You have a right to get sad and angry from time to time. As for the anxiety, I am still struggling with it. We are ttc again, and it just feels like the stakes are so high since this is our forth attempt. The best advice I can give in just keep talking about your feelings. It helps to sort out the the real worries and concerns from the ones that our minds fabricate. Best wishes to you.

 

Melissa - November 29

I had a miscarriage almost 6 weeks ago. I was 8.5 weeks pregnant. It is hard still, yes, but definitely easier than say a week after the miscarriage. I guess time heals, but there will always be moments where you are sad or reminded of your miscarriage or "what could have been". I've stopped trying to calculate how far along I'd be. It only makes me sad or upset. My advice is just to try and focus on what's ahead, not what is behind you. If you are trying to conceive again, focus on that. I know it's hard. My best friend is entering her third trimester and all I can think about is what an awesome Christmas it would have been for us too. But it is what it is. I cannot magically be pregnant again, so accepting reality is now my goal and waiting to try again is now my struggle. Take it a step at a time. I know how you feel.

 

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