The Clean Slate

36 Replies
stefkay - February 23

Hi, I just thought I'd start a new thread for anyone who is starting over again...please join in whether you're grieving, waiting, actively ttc again or if you just want to lend support. Today AF came to visit for the first time after my m/c 32 days ago--I'm having mixed feelings about it for sure. Don't know if I'm ready to start trying right away, but I do know that I've found many wonderful women on here who have made this whole nightmare bearable :-)

 

Ella82 - February 24

Hi Stef! I think this thread is a great idea. I'll join in for sure, my bleeding has nearly stopped so waiting for my first af, should be here in around 4-5weeks time. Its weird getting your first af after a m/c i got mine around 35 days after my last m/c at least you know your body is starting to get back into the swing of things. (((Hugs))) to you xxx

 

Whisper - February 24

Hello! This is a good idea for a thread. I will join if that is okay =). I had my m/c feb 11. My bleeding had stopped by the 19th when my hormone levels were zeroed out, and I am pretty sure I ovulated today. I am actively ttc again. Its the only way I feel I can really move on is getting right back on the horse. I'm terrified of falling off again, but I've just gotta keep trying anyway, and eventually im bound to get it right. My doc told me I was good to try again since my hormone levels went down even though i hadnt had another cycle yet, he said it was early enough that i didnt have to wait if i didnt want to, and i didnt, so here i am, hoping for a miracle that sticks!

 

sososleepy - February 24

Good idea Stefkay! Here I am. Ella82, are you charting bbt so you have a better clue when it'll come? Whisper, congrats on your O! Um, once we O... how do we occupy our minds during the 2ww? Back on the horse sums it up - I figure I'll ride or fall, but I'm on and hoping.

 

stefkay - February 24

hi girls! It's funny that I never wanted to come to this forum...I've said this before that I wouldn't even look at it because I was afraid I'd jinx my pregnancy (lol) but now I've found I'm the most comfortable here. Hopefully I'll have a healthy pregnancy soon and can share it here. Pregnant girls welcome!!! hee hee. Whisper and sososleepy, we'll keep ourselves occupied here during that nasty 2ww--it's great you guys are back in there right away! Ella, I think I'm right with you on the ttc timeframe. Looks like I can't really try until April either! I'm on cd1 today (last night started light, but today was fully on flow. This month I'm having an FSH, an HSG and an endometrial biopsy. I sooooo hope she will do them all this month/cycle, but I'm afraid if she puts the HSG next cycle that means I can't start till the one AFTER! Here's to hoping that's not the case.

 

ROBYN - February 24

Hey girls i am here Stef what a wonderful idea I am going to read the posts but we are running out the door so i will respond later. Just wanted to let you know i found you lets keep this great new thread going ((HUGS))

 

Whisper - February 24

tww is always awful! lol! I too feel more comfortable here. I used to always lurk at the the signs of preg section but most of the time I was afraid to ever speak because so many of the regulars there tend to be so catty with each other, it always seems like one has to walk on eggshells over there. No to offend anyone in particular, thats just the vibe I always got over there. But here, its like everyone is so caring and compa__sionate and kind to each other. And even though it sucks that I had to lose my first baby to find this group, I can add this to my list of positive things that came from my m/c, because I never would have stumbled in here otherwise. =).

 

Belief - February 24

hello everyone...I just found out yesterday that I had a chemical pregnancy..after m/c in Nov. Dr confused me b/c he said it was up to me if I wanted to count it. My HCG was a 9 and he told me anything under 10 was not pregnant. Do you always have to take a blood test to get your HCG? I read on here everyone knows there HCG and my dr with my first never mentioned anything. I feel really dumb and am trying to learn as much as possible about my body and the process of conception. :)

 

ROBYN - February 24

Hey girls, as most of you know my termination took us completely by surprise and at 14 1/2 weeks this past Tuesday we were forced to make the awful decision we ever had to make. We had a D&E. But as the days go on i am slowly getting better. Good news the bleeding has seemed to have stopped and the cramping is gone. My major issue now is my b___bs they are DD to begin with and now feel like they weigh 50lbs a piece, hard as rocks and are probably gonna start to leak. My goal is to start my next IVF cycle we have an appt with the RE on the 28th of March and it couldnt get here quicker enough. My OB called last night said he had been thinking about me all week and said all my bloodwork came back completely normal and gave us the go ahead to start IVF again ASAP. It made me so happy and relieved. He said what had happened was a freak anomoly and wont happen again. I am so eager to start again i dont know if its hormones or what but i am more determined then ever to get pregnant again. I have difficulty talking with the girls on the IVF thread that i am on. Since they are all about to find out if they got their BFP and one just gone 2 days ago I feel like i am jealous when i want to be happy for them. They were all so happy for me and cryed along with me these past 2 weeks. So i am trying to be supportive but its hard. I find alot of peace over here. WHISPER - i never went on the Signs of Preg forums I read them but sometimes you just have to find a good group of girls to hook up with and then its easier to get answers. Hopefully we will build a strong thread and watch us all get our BFP's again that would be wonderful. BELIEF - as to your question about always having bloodwork for your HCG yes you need that to determine if the beta levels are doubling every 2-3 days like they should. If they drop obviously that isnt a good sign. So the doctor likes to monitor them every few days. At least its done that way with IVF or other infertility issues.

 

Ella82 - February 24

Morning Ladies (well it is here in Australia anyways!!) Good to see a nice group of ladies on here already! I use to always be on the signs of preg but i feel alot more comfortable on this board. For those who dont know me i'd like to give you a bit of info about myself. I am 24 Dh is 31 (dh has 2 boys from a prev marriage 7 & 8 who live with us full time their mum live in Texas) August 06 we decided to start ttc i fell pregnant in Sept and it ended in a missed m/c in early Nov at 10wks 5days baby stopped growing at 6wks 1day. I got my first af in Dec and we started trying again when we got back from holidays in January i found out i was pregnant we were so thrilled to be blessed with another pregnancy so soon sadly i m/c last week at 10weeks and the pregnancy was around 5-6weeks and was just a sac, it has been very hard on me physically and emotionally having to go through 2 m/cs in the space of 3 1/2 months. My doctor has prescibed me with progesterone cream to take after I O, i also went to see my new obgyn and he has tested my blood for a few things and will get those results in a couple of days. I will be trying again in april and using this time now to give my body a good rest. Sososleepy i do not chart just going on my previous m/c i expect to see af towards the end of March. Stefkay i hope they do all the testing in one month so you can start trying in April. (((Hugs))) to everyone xxx

 

LanaK - February 24

Hi everyone. I remember some of you from the signs of pregnancy forum (Ella82, I think we got pregnant at about the same time in September). I am sorry that all of us are here, for one reason or another. I had to have a D&E at 17 weeks because at 16 wks ultrasound I found out that my amniotic fluid was very low, and the fetal kidney system likely didn't develop, so there was no chance for the baby's survival. This was 6 weeks ago, and I am just done with my first AF after the procedure. I would like to try again, but I think I'll wait for another 2-3 cycles as was advised by my OB; plus, I don't think I am ready to deal with it yet. It's hard to write this out; I think I am still at anger and sadness stage of grief.

 

duckiec - February 24

I'll join you over here too if you don't mind. My AF just started today as well (D&C in early Jan for missed m/c), with similar mixed feelings. I guess I'm glad to be getting back to normal, but it made me angry and sad all over again- I think those stages come and go. Our TTC plan is to not try this month (dr. said wait 2-3) but not prevent either, and then I'll probably be with the April group (though I'm sure the March 2ww won't be any easier!). Belief- my dr. never gave me numbers for my HCG, and I only got 1 blood test at my first appointment which they said nothing about. I don't know if I'll get more tests/info next time, but I know what you mean about feeing like you're in the dark and not getting the info you need (that others seem to get)- thats how my experience with my drs. though all this was. Stefkay- how was yesterday's dr. appt? Best wishes to all ladies- I'm very sorry we're here, but glad we can try to help each other.

 

Belief - February 24

Thanks Duckiec - Sorry to hear about your loss. I was glad when things got back to normal after AF began for me. Emotionally it took awhile and still does when I am around my friends who are all happy and pregnant. It stinks, but I'll be there someday God willing. Lots of hugs to you.

 

stefkay - February 24

YAY! I'm so glad to see all you guys on here! :-) I've been out all day and just got home....soooo tired. Like many of you have said, I can't believe I feel so comfortable and welcome here on the miscarriage forum--what an odd place to feel at home and feel positive about ttc again. I also started on the SOP board back in about August/ September. I remember when Ella went through her m/c. It feels so long ago but I remember feeling so sad for her (((HUGS, Ella))) and it brought back the fears of my first m/c's , but I never thought it would happen again. Strangely I can see the good that has come out of it in many ways. I pop back in over there and still check on the First Trimester randomly, but sometimes it feels like I'm just torturing myself needlessly. I do think m/c freaks out women that haven't experienced it so they don't really know what to say. I 've seen posts where people have written in asking about something I've been through and worrying about it and I am afraid to post or say anything on any other forum because I don't want to sound "negative" or anything. I remember posting about the problems I was having in my pregnancy and when someone would give an honest (i.e. not good) opinion or experience I remember feeling angry, but I know now that was plain ol' fear. We've been through the worst, so I like to try to think that things can only get better. I'm trying really hard to have a positive outlook and not be afraid to try again.

 

stefkay - February 24

Oh, duckie,I meant to tell you it went pretty well (the appt.) and I got lots of info... I posted it on the MTHFR Part 2 thread if you want to read it. It's a lot of stuff that I'm too tired to type write now :-) lol Mainly just some more testings going to be done and so far everything is normal except that I have a heterozygous mutation on a gene and it affects how my body metabolizes folic acid and also seems to be a clotting disorder. I still don't know much about it, but my dr. says since I only have it on one gene and not two that it probably isn't causing the m/c's. I am excited because I am going to go to the Perinatologist who tested for this (and seems to be knowledgable of it and ready to treat me for it) as soon as I get pg again. I don't even have to go see my regular obgyn at all.

 

sososleepy - February 25

Stefkay, I'm more comfortable here too. What's an HSG? Robyn, glad you found us. Hi whisper. Yup, the signs ppl are still where I was, blindly happy and hopeful. I'm trying to be happy and hopeful, but my perspective is way different now. Hi Belief. As I understand it, hCG over 25 (blood test) is considered pg, and it should double every 1 to 3 days during the beginning of pg. The urine tests measure as low as 20, but I'm not sure if 20 in urine is the same as 20 in blood (someone fill us in on that please?). Under 5 in blood is considered not pg, but the fuzzy 6-24 range could be drew blood at the very earliest moment or pg that isn't working or.... gee, I'm feeling dumb now too. I'll leave that here and see who picks up on adding to our hCG knowledge. I had to ask to get my numbers. I just asked for photocopies of all my blood work, and they gave it to me. Hiya again Robyn. I'm glad you're trying now! I think it helps. No, they don't all test to see if it's going up. Mine didn't. That rather annoys me now, because if he had, I'd have known a lot sooner. He did check once after the mc to make sure it was going down because they were concerned about an ectopic, but it was 38 and he said that was low enough to rule it out. I was shocked that he didn't monitor it to under 10 or so. If/when I get pg again, I'll be camping on his doorstep for 2 tests 24 to 48 hours apart the very moment I get a pee +. Hopefully I'll get to let you know if he'll do that for me. Ella82, hugs back! I hope the progesterone does it for you this time! LanaK, I know I'm still angry, and I still cry buckets from time to time. If waiting a few cycles works for you, absolutely wait. Hang out with us while you wait. I couldn't wait, partly because I'm 38 and my odds of problems go up every month so it scares me to wait. Happy to have you duckiec, why would anyone mind? I think I'll join you for af in a couple of days, hope not, but think so. See if doc will give you photocopies of your tests. Mine won't give information of any kind on the phone, but I asked for the test results in person and got them after this mc. I wanted them so I could look it all up online, and to compare next (please let there be a next) pg to. I asked because I was sitting here in the dark too, while so many other ladies here had their info. Stefkay, I'm gonna be positive, gonna be positive, well... 10dpo today, negative, but perhaps tomorrow I'll be positive? Contrary temp the same as yesterday so no clues there lol. I like the get better part! Let it be positive AND better:+) Stef, I'll go read the other thread, but it sounds workable and like you'll be in good hands.

 

Belief - February 25

Good morning ladies - you what is really strange? My temp has remained high all through this bleeding. Way above my baseline. I get mad cramps when I'm hungry. I learning a lot about HCG levels and found a website that lists all the different HPT and what it takes to get a positive. Wish I could remember but I just woke up. Going to a birthday party today with little ones. Happy for them, sad for me. Does anyone know which is better to see - a DO or an MD? I was seeing an DO but Friday I saw an MD and my husband says and MD is better b/c he knows more. I think he was more comfortable with the medical doctor b/c he was a male. Anyway...I'm rambling. Sometimes I wish we were all in the same place and could go out for coffee/tea and give real hugs. The support here is incredible and I never imagined it to be this way. I'm off to buy a birthday present. Have a great day and have positive happy thoughts.

 

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