Tons Of Emotions II

92 Replies
Lily - April 4

Petra - thanks for the information about O after m/c. Urgh.. I unfortunately haven't been using protection becuase I thought I would at least have more signs (I typically can tell when O is without taking temp, etc.). I am not going to stress and freak myself out. Hopefully I will get AF later this month. urgh.. I hear you on not knowing the date corresponding to your due date. I think that is why my little guy was so sick... I had no idea when my last period was and I was either a day overdue or 10 days overdue (depending on which ultra sound you went by). ~ Anyway, hopefully I will get AF (I am so proud to know what that means) later this month.~ I don't know anything about progesterone cream. It is amazing what I learn on this site about my body!! LOL :). ~ Julie - your great grandma and mine should have had drinks. What is up with those women? At least you know you have good genes and can do this! :) ~ Have a good night.

 

mulgajill - April 4

Julie... i love the great grandmother story.... all those pregnancies (probably a few ones that 'missed early too').... Hope the fertility statue works.... i remember when i got pregnant the first time with my daughter... went up to visit my old (80ish yo) bushman friend. Told him i had planted parsley (yes very exciting life i lead) and he said "ohhhh... you know what that means.... you will get pregnant".... sure enough i did ... used it for no. 2 as well... and now i think of it i have parsley out the front in an old wheelbarrow which i planted before i got pregnant in oct last year (thought this was an ill fated one).... and no, i am not a regular parsley grower... will go out and water it now. Did the hpt...neg... however it is not an ultra early one so didn't expect much... the ultra early 10hcg ones are sold out in the three local supermarkets.... this happened last month... so will try again tomorrow..... still 3 days to go of waiting hell ... will check in tomorrow... goodluck with the u/s tomorrow Julie.

 

Lily - April 4

I didn't know there were hpt tests that could detect 10hcp levels! Btw, when I was buying tests in January... I could never find out what the levels the test measured anywhere on the box. How do you know all this? ~ Hum.. this is like "pregnancy 101" for me, huh? ;) ~ okay, I am a little slow but I promise I will catch up. :)

 

Petra - April 5

Julie, you must have missed the conversation about www.peeonastick.com They have all the info you are looking for on hpt. When I woke up this morning I thought my b___bs were a little more tender... maybe imagining things ... and untill now, (11 am) have a slight nauseated (?) feeling. Have to add that dh and mom are sick with flue, nevertheless... I am hopefull. Well see, it is tuesday already and I never thought this week would start. Time goes by way too slow... Besides that things with the move are progressing nicely. Hubby is busy with tiles... started to look real good. I just need to find time to do some more painting. Wath I was wondering about testing.... If you start having symptoms like nausea etc... would a test show positive?? When do symptoms start, with what hcg level?

 

Julie C. - April 5

Petra, I think you meant Lily about the peeonastick conversation! I've been using them for way too long . . . I have a handy ovulation monitor (a little computer that tells me low, high, or peak - the peak sign is actually quite cute: it's a little egg). ~~ Had my u/s this morning. Spotted two follicles, but they're still little (10 and 14 mm, I think he said). They want them to be about 22-24 mm (they grow about 2 mm a day). So, I have another u/s on Saturday morning. I also picked up $250 worth of medications! The pre-natal vitamins were $115; the progesterone (v____al suppositories) were $50 and an injection (ugh!) of ovidrel (causes ovulation) was $80. (Thank goodness for prescription insurance.) So, I guess we are going to give the IUI a shot this cycle . . . (talk about knowing when you ovulate . . . ). ~~ Petra, I think symptoms can start pretty much right away for some women . . . ~~ Mulgajill, when do you plan to test again or expect af? ~~ Gotta go work. Hope all of you are well.

 

Julie C - April 5

Hey guys, check out this website! www.seronocycle.com It's a neat little day-by-day play of a cycle and shows ovulation, implantation, etc. (turn the sound up, cause the woman explains it as it goes!)

 

Tara-T - April 5

Started AF today. 24 day-cycle???? This had never happened before...but like I said, temps were so much lower than normal this cycle. This ever happened to anyone?

 

mulgajill - April 5

Good Morning All!!! Petra, i am hopeful for you too.... Julie, you have had a big shopping spree.... it is NOT cheap.... my progesterone was $50 and is not covered by medicare but should last about a month (what dose are you getting, how many mg per suppository)? Tara... very short cycle... my second cycle after the m/c in dec was shorter than usual (26 days compared to the normal 28ish).... Tell your doctor you want the progesterone this time round.... you want a nice long luteal phase, and from what i have read the progesterone won't guarantee getting pregnant but it WILL lengthen the luteal phase and will NOT do you any harm. Now.... i got the ultra sensitive hpt (went down town to the 'upper cla__s' supermarket... they had heaps)... it say '10hcg' but i read on the net that on day 14 after o day normal ranges for hcg vary from 3-426, day 21 18-7340 (that is a huge normal range). Anyway i do have a very faint line (under the strong light, but could be an evaporation line) so will check again tomorrow. And no "that is great" comments thanks :-) .... as far as i am concerned it will be great when i am 12 weeks pregnant... getting pregnant has never been the problem, they just get shorter lived each time.... . Maybe the progesterone is keeping me on a bit of an even keel as i am feeling particularly good and cheery at the moment. Tara or Julie... i cant get to see the doctor till tomorrow, and he has no idea anyway, so maybe you can help.... if i get bfp tomorrow should i up the dose of the progesterone a bit (on 100mg a day at the moment).... Julie as you already have yours you may be able to check out your dose. It is very hard to get imfo here as the progesterone thing is virtually unheard of in Australia. Will check in again later.... oh and Lily, the 10hcg tests are fortel ultra, but i dont know if they are really that much better, the ones i got my faint positive last month were the el cheapo's (Precise in different packaging).

 

Julie C. - April 5

Mulgajill, actually, instead of congratulating you, I will have to say I was laughing (not at you) because I remember reading lines in the exact way you describe . . . a line, or not a line, that is the question . . . (oh, if Shakespeare and Hamlet only knew I was riffing on them in the context of fertility . . . ) Sorry, literature geek coming out! Moving right along . . . Tara -T, sorry about af. Next month tell her she's just not welcome and send her right along (but not to any of us, thank you very much! Send her to, um, France. I don't think any of us are in France!). I don't mean to make light of it - just trying to cheer you up. I'd ask about the progesterone, too. And I've also read several women on the site say that their first full cycle was either extra short or extra long and then the second one was normal. ~~ Mulgajill, I have no instructions yet on the progesterone (just picked up the medicine and am actually p__sed off at my doc because he gave me the prescription for the prog and the shot of hcg without any instructions - they just said don't take anything yet, come back Saturday . . . I have never given myself a shot before . . . guess they'll tell me what I need to know on Saturday. I found out, by the way, that the ovidrel is actually hcg). Anyway, I a__sume that I will take two doses a day (they are 50mg each). I'm actually kinda excited because maybe on Sat we'll actually do the IUI . . . then will come the freaky, sucky waiting time again. ~~ Hey did you guys check out that cool website? I didn't know that the blastocyst released the embryo like that or that "implantation" really meant complete implantation! Or that the uterine lining actually gets 8 to 12 mm thick every month . . . learned a lot today. Made my husband watch it too and he also thought it was cool. ~~ Ok, one more "I'm clueless" question. What's bfp? I'm still trying to learn all the abbreviations on this site (I've got af, m/c, u/s, cd, opk, opt, hpt, o, and ttc). xx

 

Petra - April 6

Well, I broke down and took a test, BFN of course... I am still hoping it is too early to tell. Well see next week. Still have one test left. Have you checked out the thread NOOOO, it is true... on general preg questions. It is too much and I can´t believe it. ... I am feeling a little under the wather today and don´t know if it´s the flu or something else. Pregnancy is supposed to be fun, they don´t tell you about the ups and downs... or the anxiety... Good thing this forum is here. Julie, you´re right I was talking to Lily... did you check out the website? It has real usefull info. Of course they talk about brands that we do not have here in Holland. Come to think of it, that is also a possibilty. The test I bougth does not say how sensitive it is. Maybe next week will be different. Bbs are not sore yet. But I do get that with PMS anyway, so it wouldn´t feel different. The weather is sucky now, it is raining and cold. Doesn´t help to get in a good mood.... well ladies, I will hear from you again later. good night all....

 

Julie C. - April 6

Hey guys. Just a quick note. I'm off to my conference . . . will be back tomorrow evening, though. Petra, I hope today is better for you . . . bad weather definitely seems to make things worse. ~~ oh, about the poo strand . . . seems funny that they're worried about that given all the other things one might be embarra__sed about during delivery . . . it's just one more normal thing for the doctors . . . after reading that (well, skimming it), I'm glad I just hang out here with you guys! ~~ Tara-T, hope you're doing ok. ~~ Mulgajill, fingers are crossed for a bfp for you (you, too, Petra). Gotta run. xx

 

Tara-T - April 6

Julie: Thanks for thinking of me...I'm down, but then I'm down every time I see that BFN (just learned that one myself!). I'm especially down because my cycle is only 23 days and I'm afraid I've stopped ovulating. In a way, I wish I'd never gotten pregnant first time at the ripe old age of 41 (before that, never thought it was possible). For me, desire...that is really wanting something is always shrouded in a level of suffering. I don't like the feeling of being "on a mission"...unless it's an altruistic one (and I'm not saying being a mother isn't altruistic, per se...but I do feel there's an element of biologism..i.e. wanting "my" baby that's self-absorbed). At least if my mission is trying for something that might be helpful to an other, if I fail, I can see feel okay about investing time an money for the others.... but, in terms of the obsessive energy I'm spending trying to create a biological offspring, with all the bloody ups and downs and hope then disappointment, even intense physical and emotional pain (in miscarriage)--I have to step back and wonder about it. Maybe I'm just rationalizing the inevitable disappointment I'll feel.... I don't know. I just want to be in a place where I can accept that was is going on at any given time is okay...is just as it should be, nothing more, nothing less--my version of enlightened mind.

 

Julie C. - April 6

I actually had time for one more quick post before I'm off to the conference. Tara, I get what you're saying. Completely. And I agree about the altruism . . . bringing a child into the world is, I've heard argued, the one most selfish thing people can do: reproduce themselves (we don't do it for the child, who doesn't even exist yet; we do it for ourselves). After the baby is here, granted, it's a totally different story: then, you sacrifice for the child. But the act of and desire to reproduce is, at bottom, about what WE want. We want a baby; we want to be parents; etc. Which doesn't, of course, mean it's bad. It's a natural drive. I'm not entirely ready to give up yet. But soon. For me, the limit of trying is 4 years . . . after this summer we're adopting and will be happy with that decision. And I don't think you're rationalizing - you're just thinking through a very complex and emotional issue. ~~ By the way, given your situation, a fertility monitor (as opposed to the pee sticks) might be worthwhile. It will tell you about your lh surge much more accurately. It takes a lot of the guessing out of it as far as timing goes. Also, were you the one who said you wanted to try AI? I think that's a good option. At least, I hope it is . . . we'll see how it goes for me this cycle! Oh! I just remembered something! There's actually a test you can have done (a blood test on cd 3) that will tell approzimately how "fertile" you still are! Why don't you have that one done? or have you already? On a positive note, I wouldn't judge your future cycles on this current one. Lots of women take a couple cycles to get back to normal. I think that having been pregnant so recently, however, speaks well about your future chances. Hope you are on the up swing soon! Talk to you guys soon! xx

 

mulgajill - April 6

Hi ya all, Petra.. of course it is way too early to test... but the temptatation is always there... will check out the Nooooo post later.... I have not tested this morning.... the closer i get the less i want to know (af due tomorrow) .... sick of the dissappointment, and last time when i was pregnant in october 04 only got a faint line when af was 6 days late (first time i tested).... Tara, i think Julie is right, dont take one cycle as a guide..... i just read on another thread, stacey, who is "waiting".... said her last cycle was luteal phase 6-10 days last time and was wondering if there was this variation before m/c.... i think she is a bit younger than us... maybe it is not that our cycles are so different from 'normal' but we are really taking notice of them when we are ttc'ing. For Julie and Tara on using the progesterone, it is kind of a 'happy pill' for me, even if i dont succeed baby making i will continue to use it at a lower dose for the second half of my cycles..... sleeping better and just feel really relaxed.... I have gone from a person that complains about peeling potatoes to one who thinks she is lucky to have potatoes .... Good luck with your conference Julie.... and Tara i understand the 'afraid you have stopped ovulating' thing, this is why i started using opk's.... at my age it is just great to get that positive opk test... however it is normal not to ovulate EVERY month...guess if you dont one month the short luteal phase is your bodies way to catch up... speed things along for the next cycle. Hope all is well for Lily too .... cheers xx

 

Lily - April 6

Hi guys.. sorry I am just checking email. I have had my hand very full over the past few days. I don't know if I mentioned that after we got my little boy home from the hospital we had a few more issues - i.e. bloody diapers,ect. It took us a few months to figure out he was allergic to lactose, dairy (essential b___st milk - me) and he had reflux. Well, supposedly he grew out of it and his doctor told us to start him on dairy and milk. Well.. we are now anemic and my once incredible sleeper is incredibly unhappy. I have had NO sleep for the past 4 days. Unfortunately, sleep is the least of my problems.. I feel so sorry for him. It is very frustrating because my boy is the best eater -- we eat kale, broccoli, salmon, lamb, beef, any other veggie you can name and any fruit. He won't touch sugar and I try to get him to eat animal crackers and we spit them out. SO I am very frustrated to find out he is anemic. How? Are we losing blood? Anyway, long story short, I am suppose to let him cry himself to sleep because he won't sleep otherwise. He is in his room screaming. My husband is out of town.. and I am almost in tears because I feel so helpless for him. Hopefully, we will find a solution for him soon. His doctor did a load of tests on him today and we go to the baby gastro doctor later this week. ~ Petra, I agree with mulgajill it is way too early to test. Plus, you just waste money on the early tests because you are always trying to decide.. is there a line or isn't there.. (I love you Shakespear line Julie! - so very true). ~ Tara and Julie.. I hope you hang in there. I understand the desire to have a biologic child. I don't think I would give up until I had a lot of peace in my heart that it was the right thing to do. If I had drive to continue trying I would look to that as a sign to keep going.. Just me.. but I think that is how I would feel. I am always looking for "signs" :) My thoughts are with you guys. ~ I hopeful that I can continue to get pregnant easily (I did with the first two). I just need to get past 12 weeks! The thought makes me terrified. I guess you just "walk through your fears." Petra - It is funny... I was talking to a girlfriend the other day about pregnancy after m/c. She had 4 before her first baby. She now has two kids (and btw, she didn't have them until she was 43 - she had twins on number 3..and all in 3 1/2 years.. so there is hope). She said she never "enjoyed" pregnancy. The fear is always there.. you are always looking for blood every time you go pee. She said the only way she survived is support of other women that knew her fears. I wish I didn't feel that she was right about this topic.. but I don't know how you ever "let go" of the experience of a m/c. ~ mulgajill - go plant parsley and I hope you don't see AF anytime soon. I hope to congratulate you in 13 weeks instead. ~ He is still crying.. and I think I need to go hold him. I seriously can't do this... urgh.. ~ Have a good night.. talk to you soon (hopefully).

 

Lily - April 6

sorry my friend had 4 kids.. twins on 3rd pregnancy. I can't type and listen to a screaming baby.. :( sorry...

 

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