Too Many Losses What To Do Next

5 Replies
Michelle - March 3

Hello everyone. I just had a missed m/c @ 8 wks. US showed no heartbeat. Missed m/c. This is my third pregnancy. First one resulted in missed m/c. Second pregnancy I went to term and gave birth -39wks. but baby had rare congenital lung condition (ACD) and died @ 12 days. That was in July 2004. Now with this third loss I am at a loss with to do. I don't even know if I trust my family doctor who has seen me through these pregnancies. Should I go to an OB/GEN? Should I request further investigation with this last loss? Haven't dealt with m/c yet. Wanting it to sink in. Don't know if I want to do D&C - afraid they might scar my uterus and then I'll have more problems than I already have. Just seeking advice and different perspectives.

 

Misty - March 3

I have to start of by saying that I am so sorry. I'm not really sure if with your second child, if what your baby had was rare, that your doctor should have noticed. But then again maybe he should. If you are thinking about getting a different doctor you probably should. If you don't trust him that is no good. I had a friend that miscarried 4 times before she had her daughter. So there is still hope. But you should have blood work done to see if you and your hubby have some sort of blood type or something that when mixed can create problems(i know that wasn't the medical way to say that) I think there are shots you can take if that is the case. But also, if anything, would you consider adoption? There are lots of kids out there who sure could use a stable home.

 

Misty - March 3

Also as far as getting a D&C just make sure that if you get a fever and start to feel sick that you go to see your doctor. When I had my miscarriage they told me that if that happens it is your bodies way of fighting an infection because everything didn't come out. That will cause scar tissue. It also depends on how far along you were wether or not you might need a D&C. You might be fine not getting one though. Lots of people don't.

 

tara - March 3

hi Michelle, I'm sorry about your loss. having gone through a m/c myself I can imagine what you are going through right now. I agree with Misty, if you are not comfortable with your Dr. I suggest going to a new one, someone through a recomendation. The blood work she has suggested is also a great idea after what you have been through. My sister in law went through 5 m/c before she finally gave birth to a beautiful daughter, and then a couple of years later to another daughter...so there is still hope. You just have to be positive and don't loose faith. D&C is usually a really quick procedure and should normally go on with out any complications. But you do have to be cautiouse and take care of your self afterwards. Hopefully the new Doctor you find will be more effecient and helpfull; I wish you all the best and we are all here for you if you need us.

 

Kara - March 3

First off, I am so sorry about your babies. I definitely think you should find a new doctor, possibly a high risk dr who specializes in cases like yours. I feel very strongly about patient/doctor relationships. Your husband may be your spouse, but your doctor is your partner through the pregnancy process. You need to be able to trust them and rely on them not just for the medical stuff but the emotional stuff too. In regards to the d/c, its not that bad. If the tissue stays inside too long, the risk of infection is real problem. There is a slight risk of the uterus getting punctured (1:1000), but that will heal just fine too.

 

Michelle - March 8

Thanks for your words of wisdom. I think I'm going to ask around about OB/Gens from friends. We are going to try one more time and if that doesn't work out we will consider other options. I still cannot get myself to deal with the miscarriage. I have this weird notion that they made a mistake and the baby's heart is still beating. I don't have any pregnancy symptoms so I know its the grief talking. I asked the doctor for misoprostol so that I could expel it at my leisure. Thanks for your thoughts and kind words.

 

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