Tribute To The Babies Taken From Us

1 Replies
ErinBriana - July 4

I used to be on the first trimester board last September and October until I was no longer pregnant. I've came to the conclusion that although it is impossible to lose the pain that comes with losing a child, no matter what age or stage in pregnancy, it reassures me when I talk about my baby who I never got to meet. I can only imagine others feel the same, which is why I decided to post this. While it is 1AM the night before the 4th of July, 8 months and 1 week after my world came crashing before my eyes, talking about my baby seemed like the thing to do right now. Feel free to tell us your story. Although everyone's story is different, we will always share the same pain of child loss.

 

ErinBriana - July 4

Long story short, I became pregnant last August and lost my baby October 29th. I will edit this when I have more sleep, but for now, here goes. Although I am not married, I became pregnant, unplanned I say, although without birth control, it was bound to happen, as my boyfriend and I weren't being careful. This pregnancy turned my world around. Meaningless factors of my life that I felt to be so important before the pregnancy meant nearly nothing anymore. The moment I realized I was pregnant, I admit I was not excited, although not disappointed. I was worried about what my parents and coworkers would think. There were many rollercoasters to encounter during this pregnancy, but I stayed strong and tried my hardest to be strong for the baby, although we lost her anyway. She died approximately two weeks BEFORE an ultrasound I had done in which the ER doc on duty told me that she could see the four chambers of our baby's heart and to take it easy because of the "threatened miscarriage," although she had already died. I'm convinced my baby was a girl; gut feeling from the beginning. Despite my boyfriend and family's objections, I chose the name Ever. Sometimes I stop and think, what would I be doing right now if she were physically right here with me. I'm sure she'd be sleeping soundly, no cares in the world. I refuse to blame myself as the thought of doing so hurts so bad and I can't go down that road again. Although I can't look down right now and see her sleeping peacefully, I can always close my eyes, take a deep breath, and visualize the day we meet again. She will forever be in my heart. She helps me stay strong, she helped me get past her dad leaving, she is always here with me and whatever took the life from her body can never take her spirit from me. We never met but she had an impact greater than anybody has ever had on me and I doubt anyone will. I locked all of our things in a box, the precious moments doll that I played to her nearly every night we had together... "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. May angels watch me through the night, and keep me in their blessed sight. Amen" I'm glad we had these moments together.

 

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