Very Bad Day

11 Replies
Jill - April 1

Today I awoke after a very bad sleep just to go to work and face my pregnant coworker again. As the day went on, I felt worse and worse and felt isolated from everybody at work. Now I am a big mess. I can't stop crying and I feel like I will never feel better again. I can't stand to see that someone who didn't even want a baby is having such an easy time, and I am struggling to get through this. I already suffer from depression, but thought I had it managed. Now that this has happened, I am right back where I started and feel that I will never be happy again. I don't really have a question. I just feel like my days are getting worse instead of better.

 

Melissa - April 1

Jill I am so sorry for your loss. The pain will heal. I just miscarried yesterday and I also have depression. It is hard. If possible can you take a few days off of work to grieve maybe.

 

mulgajill - April 1

You WILL get better again... dont be too hard on yourself... let time do it's healing thing.... and it is TIME... it would be abnormal NOT to feel depressed after miscarriage... you not only have to overcome grief but hormone hell.... xx

 

same here - April 2

Jill, I can completely relate. my sister-in-law is 8 months pregnant - from a one nght stand. My husband and I were trying to have my first (we have two from his pervious marriage), and I lost the baby last week; the pregnancy was eptopic and ruptured, taking an ovary with it. I want to be happy for my sis-in-law, but its hard when I'm going through all of this. It does help to pray. I've got the added fun of my husband being a *&(&* right now - he couldn't have picked a better time to pick a fight than just when I'm finally starting to physically recover from the miscarriage. I'm a wreck and I know it, but you would think he would try and be supportive right now, rather than be a jerk and tell me everything I'm dong wrong. Thoughts of him are what got me through everything last week, and know I'm wondering if our marriage will survive it all.

 

stacey - April 2

TO Same Here- I have a great marriage, and we had a rocky spurt when miscarried as well. It is hard for the men to understand. I also suffered from a spurt of deppression when I miscarried, but found that I did get over it. Making a memory box for the baby, and later trying again, helped put the closure I needed on it so I can be happy again. Don't get me wrong, I still get sad and wonder why, but I am much happier and ok wiht it now.

 

Jo - April 2

Jill: There is no reason for you to HAVE to be happy. you deal with it in whatever way you can to get by. did you have a miscarriage or are you trying to get pregnant? you will get better just give it time. when you feel like crying just give in to it, its your body's way of releasing stress. i found that coming here and talking to women helped alot, i didnt know anyone in my own town that i could talk to face to face. we are all here to share our stories and help each other cope. some of us have an easier time and others dont, but theres nothing wrong with that. you are totally normal! Keep talking and crying!

 

Jo - April 2

To Same Here: Most men dont know how to deal with loss. he needs support just as much as you do. Dont ask me how, cuz i deal with the same thing with my husband. in a way you both resent each other for the loss and you dont even know you feel that way until your screaming at each other. i dont know how to solve it, maybe someone else has some ideas.

 

Same here - April 2

Thanks ladies. It helps to have someone to talk to, even if it's someone I've never met. Normally he would be seeing me through this, and for some reason he just isn't able to be my support system right now. I'm doing a lot of praying for all of us (we have 2 children from my husband's first marriage, and this is hard for them as well). The memory box is a great idea - I don't want this baby to just be gone, I want something tangible to remember the life we had for such a short time. I think everyone else would rather I just forget, though. It's easier for them that way.

 

Jill - April 2

Same here- and everyone on this site---thanks for listening. I am having a slightly better day today, but as the day goes on, I can't stop thinking about my pregnant friend and my m/c. I have happy thoughts of trying again, and then I become fearful that I may m/c. I try to think of other things I can take control of in my life to make myself feel better, but I never seem to get to them. I did talk to my husband today, and he was much more supportive. I think there are going to be an awful lot of ups and downs for a while. I just hope that we all become pregnant and have healthy babies. Anyone who has to go through something like this deserves it. Thanks for being there for me.

 

Same here - April 2

Jill - I actually smiled and laughed with my family this afternoon; we had an almost normal evening :) It's great to think we may be able to get back to something better. I completely understand your fears about the next pregnancy; but I'm trying my best to have faith that it will all work out, and I'm hoping the dr wont make us wait too long to try (I'll find out on Wednesday). Oh, I'm going to start posting under my real name, Allie - I didn't originally out of some paranoid fear that my sis-in-law would see the post and feel bad - I have been very careful to not let her know how hard it is for me to see her; I don't want to take one moment of her happiness away during her pregnancy. She deserves is just as much as we do :) Anyway, I will keep all of you in my daily prayers, that we will all soon be blessed with the children we deserve!

 

sarah - April 3

I m/c on easter monday and have been feeling pretty rotten this week too. I think anyone going through this should have some time off. Although im outwardly coping i think inside and personally its really hurting. Im thinking about trying again right away and this keeps me going. sometimes it seems as though time is standing still. xx lots of love and hugs to all xx

 

Allie - April 3

Sarah - definitely take some time off! My m/c was the wed before easter - I tried to go back to work Easter Monday and couldn't do it - I ended up taking this whole week off, and it helped a lot. I'm going to try and go back again on Monday, and think it will go much better.

 

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