What If It Happens Again

24 Replies
Jen - July 26

Hi, me and my hub concieved in may and i lost the baby in ealry July. He really wants to try again, but I am soo scared that I will loose it again. We have one son and I am a student-we planned to get pregnant this summer/fall so it wouldn't interfere with my education. When i lost the baby, I kind of took it as a sign not to get pregnant before getting my master's, but my hub doesn't want like 5 years between kids, I don't either. How do you get over the fear?? I know you don't know until you try, just need some encouragement from those experincing that same thing.......

 

crisy - July 26

Hi Jen. I lost my baby in April.I was 7.5 wks and it was my first pregnancy. I know it's hard and you are scared. So am I but we are ttc now. My advice would be to ttc when you feel ready. In my case I am so scared of losing another baby that it's better for me to try right away. If I wait too long I will chicken out. Unfortunately my periods are all messed up. I am 24 days late but all the pregnancy tests are neg. It's frustrating! I don't think you will ever get over the fear of having a miscarriage. They say that once you experienced a loss, pregnancy will never be the same. We will always be more paranoid and more scared then the rest of the women who never experienced a miscarriage. I am so very sorry for your loss. It hurts so much and it will take time to heal the pain. When you try to conceive make sure that you feel ready and talk to your husband about your fears. I am scared that if I get pregnant again the baby will have something abnormal ! I actually have nightmares about that. When I lost the baby I dreamt that I delivered an abnormal deformed fetus surrounded by blood (you're going to think I'm crazy!) I hope that everything works out for you and your husband. Take care.

 

Sara - July 27

Hi Crisy, I saw you in another post, I go by Angry there, but that is an awful name! I was just very angry when I posted... anyway, I had a misscarriage on April 8, I was 10 weeks. I am TTC again and I have messed up periods too. I think I had an anovulatory cycle last month. I do fear getting pregnant also and I am scared to death that one day I'll have a positive test because I will be worried every single day until I deliver the baby. I keep telling myself that next time it will be all right, but I am not the optimistic type and deep inside I feel next one will be m/c too. Keep me posted with your TTC. Are you charting your BBT or using OPKs?

 

Marsaili - July 27

I have had 4 miscarriages & I am currently pregnant again. I am 4 weeks (just found out Saturday). I have been worried that I will lose this baby every day. I have had cramping the whole time & even before I knew. My first miscarriage was at 8 week, so I'm not sure I will feel secure about the baby's health until I have it & can see that he or she is well. It is difficult to think that after 4 losses I will ever be able to have a healthy baby, but I have all the hope in the world for this one.

 

lashunda - July 27

hey marsaili, did the doctor find out anything on why u had 4 m/c?? i just had my second and the doctor said that i came up positive for a blood clotting problem (sorry can't find the term for it), so hopefully when i do get preg again, they would know what to do for me to prevent another one.

 

Sara - July 27

Hi Marsaili, sorry for your loss. Your doctor should have made some tests and find out why you miscarried 4 times. Is he/she watching this pregnancy closely? If not I would suggest to find a new doc.

 

crisy - July 27

Hi Sara. I had my miscarriage on April 25th. I also think that my period in June was anovulatory. We started to TTC after that and I used the OPKs. It was very frustrating because I was getting weird results. When I got the two lines which meant that I was ovulating within 24 hours we got down to business. The next day I did another test and it showed that I wasn't ovulating anymore! I didn't stop doing the OPKs and the day after it showed that I was ovulating again!!! I thought I didn't do the test properly!! , I waited another 24 hours and continued with the last remaining stick which showed that I wasn't ovulating. I am not patient enough to do the BBT. Now ,I am so late for my period. I don't know if I'm ovulating or not? I have no symptoms of anything. It's frustrating!!!! I wish I would be pregnant and worried sick then like this. Will I ever be able to have children? If by chance I happen to get pregnant now, I'm scared that the doctor will be p__sed because he won't be able to tell my due date. We have been trying non stop. It's so weird. Some people say that it's so easy to get pregnant. I find it difficult!! I am so scared that I'm going to be infertile. Two of my very best friends had miscarriages. They had no problem getting pregnant afterwards and they had healthy babies. My husband's cousin, two of his aunts and his grandmother had miscarriages. They had healthy babies too. I think of them and then I get a bit of hope. I am not the optimistic type either but I think that makes both of us realistic. In my opinion being realistic helps to put things in perspective. It helps with decision making.Also, when I'm scared, I pray. Everything is in God's hands. When He closes a door, He opens a window. Anyhow, that's what helps me get through . I am sorry for your loss and I wish you all the luck with getting pregnant again. Sending you lots of baby dust::::::::: Keep me posted.

 

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Jen - July 27

hi guys, thanks so much for all your support. It's actually nice to her others stories so that I know that I have people to relate to. I think we have decided to wait until I am done with school. That way I can focus on it, anyways, I could stand to loose a few more pounds(if you know what I mean) before I go back into the baby making game. Good luck to everyone!!

 

crisy - July 27

Hi Jen. Good luck in your future, good luck with school and good luck for when you will try to have another baby. I admire the fact that you are finishing your masters degree. I was doing my masters degree too but I stopped. Hopefully one day I will go back to school too. I always tell my husband that I wish I had continued with my masters. I would have finished it by now! Wishing you again the best of luck for you future. God bless.

 

Sara - July 28

Hey Crisy. I know what you mean but being scared you won't be able to conceive, but just think that in normal circ_mstances it takes almost a year for a healthy couple to get pregnant, you only have a 25% chance every cycle. But you are doing the right thing and you will get pregnant. I too worry it will take long, and I am not very patient, but there is no much we can do. Now my biggest fear is that I am doing something wrong that will prevent the pregnancy, i.e. I drink 2 cups of coffee a day, being underweigh (105 LB, 5.4"), etc.. I tried to quit the coffee and to eat more, but so far I haven't been very successful. Then I keep telling myself that I am just worring too much... By the way, the OPKs don't work for me either, that's why I am doing the BBT. Also, if the BBT shows if you ovulate or not, if I don't ovulate in the next 2 moths I am going to the doctor ASAP! Ihope you are late becuase you are pregnant.

 

Tara - July 28

Hi ladies, I am in the same position as most of you. I want to get pregnant soon, but terrified that I will lose another baby. I had a D&C on June3 I was 12 weeks pregnant and was shocked that the baby had no heartbeat. My first two pregnancies were wonderful resulting in two beautiful babies. My daughter is 4 and my son is 2.5 years and we wanted three and to keep about 2 years difference between them. I bought new maternity clothes, baby items with my last(miscarriage) and now they just sit there and I have a hard time looking at them.If I were pregnant again it would give me hope again. Im watching for signs of ovulation and its really confusing. I concieved all three babies first month of trying and really knew my cycle well. I dont even know when Im ovulating (using opk and checking cervical mucus)If I went by cervical mucus I already ovulated If I go by opk I havent. Its 11 days past first af since D&C and this is driving me crazy. My dh had to leave town for 4 days, so maybe its a sign Im not supposed to get pregnant right away. I hope and pray all of us can go on to have healthy future babies.

 

crisy - July 28

Hi Sara. I love coffee too. I have at least one cup per day. My blood pressure is too low and I cannot function without my cup of coffee in the morning. Two weeks ago I fainted in the grocery store because my B.P. was so low. How embarasing! Don't worry too much about the coffee. When my mom was pregnant with me the doctor made her drink coffee during the pregnancy because she was too dizzy and had very low B.P. I came out fine except a bit hyper maybe (ha,ha...). I used to be very skinny too. Since I got married almost 2 yrs. ago (Aug.2nd 2003) I gained 15 pounds. I'm 5"5, 130lbs and I feel fat! The doctor said that my wt. was ok and that I should't try to lose. Even though you don't weigh a lot it won't affect your pregnancy. If you want to gain wt. fast do what I did. I ate pasta every day (as much as my husband). Now I can't lose the wt. and I' m stucked with it on my hips. Do you find that the BBT works? If I'm not pregnant I will try it! Let me know if you get pregnant. Sending you lots of baby dust:::::::::::: Oh by the way, I also feel that I'm doing something wrong and that's why I don't get pregnant! I think that as women we tend to be very demanding with ourselves and we try to be perfect. One of my co-workers told me to slow down because I was making everybody else look bad. I have a feeling that you have the same personality like me. People like us drink a lot of coffee, worry a lot and want results right away. This site is very helpful. Thank you for your support. It make my day a lot better. Take care.

 

Liza - July 28

Hi ladies, I had a m/c in Feb. Blighted ovum and then I had a D&C... we waited 3 months and July was our second month ttc. My af was due on Tuesday and yesterday I did a hpt and I got BFP!..Now, I am very happy but I am trying not to be too attached to this pregancy... I have a 2yr healthy boy... I don't know if this pg is going to go thru but I have a lot of nausea and my bbs are very painful... my dr appt's is 8/16... I am afraid that when I get to the dr's office I am just going to see an empty sac like happen in Feb... Crisy, I will call the dr. and see what he/she says...Baby dust to all of you!

 

crisy - July 28

Hi Liza. Congratulations for your pregnancy. I hope everything goes well. Lots of baby dust too you too.

 

Sara - July 29

Liza, congratulations! I hope everything goes well, keep us posted. Crisy, we sound very alike! This is my first month charting, so far I am very happy because my temps look normal, when they are all over the place is because you have a anovulatory cycle. I didn't O yet, I am checking the chart and using OPKs. My cycles are very irregular since D&E and I don't seem to have a lot of cervical mucus to check so I have to trust the BBT... I just need something to confirm I am ovulating or I'll got crazy!!! Jen, I don't think we will ever get over the fear of losing our baby again, but there is nothing we can do about, we have to keep trying and hope for the best. We will most likely get pregnant within a year, if not, I have a lot of faith in our doctors and I know that most of the time they can fix whatever is "wrong". So, the bottom line is that we have to be patient, keep trying and be strong...

 

Jen - July 31

Hi guys-I think I spoke too soon, I think I am pregnant again. I know it is so soon but this past week I have been nausous and peeing a lot. Me and dh haven't been using any protection as he hopes to be pregnant, I am scared and worried. I promised myself that once I started my period I would start on the pill again, but I think that I am pregnant, going to wait till wed though because I don't want to test too soon. Good luck to you all!!!!

 

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