When Does This Get Better

5 Replies
jennn28 - January 9

I know it had not even been a week, but when does this get better? I hate this. I never knew how hard this would be!

 

ZenGirl - January 9

the more time you have to heal , you will find a place to put what has happened. you will never forget it, and will think about it, but you will find a place to put it. some people heal differently than others but what i can tell you is to do what feels right for you. if you want to cry, then cry. if you want to talk about it, then talk about it. that is all part of the healing process and you are still very close to the beginning of healing so give yourself some time. good luck to you :)

 

jstaley1228 - January 9

Not to be the bearer of bad news but a friend of mine, who had also had a D&C, told me that it really didn't get better for her until she was pregnant again and I have come to find that will probably be the case for me as well. Day to day gets a little easier with time but honestly...I know my heart will hurt until I'm given another chance and even then, there will always be a little part of me that mourns my lost baby. I'm so sorry you are going through this but your not alone. There are some great women in this forum. Try to find a thread you like, join in and share in the encouragement. You'll find that will help you too...being able to talk about it with people who truly understand. I am part of a thread called "Starting over after a D&C..we're on Part 6". Feel free to join at any time. Lots of great women and good advice.I also agree with ZenGirl...cry when you want. Sometimes a good cry does wonders for me. Best of luck and take care.

 

jennifer taxson - January 9

jennn28: having gone through 3 first trimester miscarriages, it takes a while. i've never felt sad for my losses, maybe because they were early on. i did manage to carry frustration and confusion with me for months. i must also tell you that the loss was easier for me to bear than the following period while trying to conceive again. i had temper tantrums like i haven't had since i was a teenager and obsessed about my fertility constantly. also know that it's okay to feel happy for others and feel sad for yourself at the same time. (no doubt, there will be a localized baby boom in your zip code until you find out you're pregnant again.) time is the key. feeling sad, hopeless, frustrated and angry are all normal and will pa__s with time. you might find it helpful to work with a therapist who can counsel you on how to move past the "trauma" and focus on the positives in your life.

 

alicef - January 9

Hi Jenn, I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. It has been almost 3 weeks since I had a D&C and I am just starting to let go of some of my anger, hurt and frustration. Saying that, I tried to send an email to an Aunt tonight to thank her for a card she sent, and I suffered a complete meltdown. The tears came out of no where and I was back where I had started. I think this is something we will all get through eventually...but it doesn't seem to be something we will ever get over. I hope you are feeling better soon. Take care.

 

erink - January 17

I had a missed miscarriage & d/c at nine weeks pregnant, which was about six to seven weeks ago. (dec. 3rd '07) Oddly enough I felt really at peace with everything at first. It wasn't until about two weeks after the loss that I really started to get deeply upset about what happened. Things have been very hard since then, but there is some light at the end of the tunnel. You are not alone.

 

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