34 Pregnant Not Married

11 Replies
Not married and Happy - May 24

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We have a house together and are very happy, we wanted children and after I had a tumor removed from my right ovary the doctor said if I was to have kids I should hurry up and have them. So about 2 years after he told me that we are now having a child. I couldn't be happier. Some people I know related and just friends, make rude comments to me when they found out I was pregnant. Like are you getting married? You have to get married before you have the baby. One person said congrats to me and her daughter was with her and said, "Congrats for what"? She then tells her daughter, oh, shes getting married.! I couldn't believe it! I was in shock and didn't say anything back to her. Another person said did you pick out any names. I told her I had some picked and then she says to me, what is the last name going to be??? I was so mad at her. My boyfriend and I are planning on gettting married, it's just things turned out backward, and I am pregnant first. We will get married later. I am almost 35 years old and we have been dating for 7 years. This is not a fling or was it an unplanned pregnancy. We planned for this, why do other people have to bring me down with them>? We both have no children this will be our first. I am due in 4 months, and I still have to hear this c__p from the same few people. What should I do/.

 

almost 35??? - May 25

Will someone answer this question. I will be 35 in a few weeks.

 

Bree - May 25

Well if it's any consolation, I am in a similar boat, although I'm 36!! Been w/my bf for a yr, have an 18 and 13 yr old and know what you mean about the marriage issue since you're pregnant. My bf proposed to me and I accepted, but I see no rush. We live together, are in a committed relationship and also ended up doing things backwards. So what?! Why does everybody have to judge me to make me feel ashamed bc I'm not married. It's really nobody's business. I dread telling my work b/c they know I'm not married. It's frustrating to say the least.

 

Martie - May 25

I am in a similar situation. I am 37 single, pregnant and my ex-boyfriend does not want the baby. So I know that i will get the same comments. I don't care though, I am excited about having a baby. This is my first.

 

MommyAgain - May 26

"why do other people have to bring me down with them" Only if you ALLOW them to. It is your decision whether or not to let anything anyone says affect you. You can either dwell on it and let it bother you, or let it go in one ear and right out the other. Obviously these people either don't realize how rude and nosey and hurtful they are being, or they simply have no respect for you and nothing better to do with themselves than to b___t in. Be happy with your life and your pregnancy! Don't rush to get married because of a baby, that is the wrong reason to build a marriage on. If these people continue to be negative, stop including them in your life, be happy and at peace :)

 

Bree - May 26

Congrats Martie! Mommyagain I agree with you, but it is hard when you're in a small, judgemental town like me. Oh ya, and in the middle of the biblebelt here in ga. But I still say it's nobody's business! I'm just trying to enjoy this wonderful surprise in my life. I'm pretty sure it WILL be my last! lol --Bree

 

Firstat38 - May 29

Hi I'm 38 and pregnant with my first. I'm 9 weeks along and I found out 2 weeks ago. It was a SHOCK. I thought I couldn't have children. I found out my bf of 5 years was having an affair on a Friday, left him, then found out I was pregnant on Saturday. He doesn't want this baby either. Anyhow, i'm worried about miscarriage because of stress and I am nervous about having a baby with birth defects because of my age and the fact that I was drinking before I found out I was pregnant. I want this baby so bad. If anything positive can come from this relationship, it will be this wonderful gift.

 

[email protected] - May 29

Not married and Happy, well I'm happy for you. This is my first, 37 working on 38 and not married. i could care less what others thinks. I must admit that all my family and friends that know are so excited for me. for they thought I would never have any children. Also to Firstat 38, I share you same fears about this first pregnancy. I'm calming myself down through faith and pray. I want this baby so bad and I'm so excited about my pregnancy, for i planned it and now i can't wait to feel my little one kick inside of me than I'll really believe that this is true and not some dream.

 

Tammy - May 30

Having a child is a dream and a blessing for most women. Please don't be embarrased by rude comments. They are the ones who should be. Please for whatever the circ_mstances, single or committed enjoy your pregnancies and have healthy babies. You are all grown women and you know what you are doing. Good Luck

 

M - June 6

To Firstat38. I am sorry that you got such bad news at the same time that you got the wonderful news about your pregnancy. Congratulations anyway. Your child will be forever, he/she will love you unconditionally. So, put in the balance that with the jerk that was betraying you... You lost a weak bond in one day and receive a gift for life the next day. You are blessed, think this way. Don't worry about having drunk in the first weeks. I did too, I did not know that I was pregnant. Just don't drink anymore and it will be fine. I've just had my baby and he is very healthy. About stress, try to relax. But mc in the first trimester are mostly caused by genetic defects. So, don't worry too much about it. I had a lot of stress in my pregnancy too, a lot. I tried not to be affected by it, but it is hard when you are being attacked from all sides by a bad partner. Anyway, my baby is so calm, easy going, and he is a very fast learner -- according to his doctor, he is very advanced for his age. So, stress did not affect him either. Hang in there. When your loss hurts a lot, think about your gift, because the love for and from your child will be forever.

 

BH - June 9

Hi - you and I have alot in common. I have been dating my fiance for over 7 years as well and have been talking about having a child for the last three - we are finally pregnant and expecting in Sept. We are not married either, but have been living together. We were suppose to be married this fall - but the baby came first. Sometimes that is how it works. Ours is not a fling either, but a serious relationship between two people in love. Don't listen to other people. You and your BF just focus on loving eachother and preparing for you child. Once the baby is born then you can marry and live happily ever after. Don't ever let anyone take your joy away from you - this is suppose to be a happy time for you. Your going to be a mommy - one of the most important jobs. Congradulations to the two of you

 

Teena - June 16

I am in the same boat, 34, unmarried, and pregnant. My bf and I have been together for almost a year, and we just found out last week that I'm pg. We will be getting married, but that was not a rush decision. Both of us cannot see ourselves with anyone else for the rest of our lives. Our "issue" is that we are both from big Catholic families. By the time this baby is born, I will be 35. I already have two other kids, 7 and 8. My big concern right now is telling our families. I am only 4 or 5 weeks along (based on my first u/s). I'm waiting to get results from the last of my blood work (to ensure that I'll be able to carry this baby to term, so far it looks good), but then we'll be breaking the news to our families. BF and I are both very excited about this, this is really great news!

 

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