Can I Afford To Wait At 33

10 Replies
pms74 - March 3

I am new to this, but thought I might give it a try. So...I am 33 years old and just recently married. Most of my friends have young children or infants. I feel like I would like to wait a year or two and spend time with my new husband, but I am worried that I won't be able to concieve if I wait. My husband just started a new job and at this point I am the bread winner of the family. Also, my mother, who had me at 30 went through early menopause (she was 42) so I worry that it might be hereditary. I am a pharmacist at a large hospital, so I know that people have children in their late thirties and forties, but I wanted an opinion from others who have waited as to what advice they might give someone in my position.

 

LeslieM - March 4

hi pms...i certainly do not think that waiting another year or two is going to be problematic for you. tons of women these days wait. i am 38 and got pregnant 2 weeks after i had my iud removed. i am now almost 16 weeks. my sister got pregnant at 40 no problem....if you are concerned about early menopause, then talk to your doctor...tell him your concerns...i think they can check your hormones for signs of early menopause...in fact i am almost positive. good luck!

 

pms74 - March 4

Thanks Leslie. Out of curiosity, is this your first pregnancy? I did order some sort of FSH test online, but I am not really sure how they work--apparently you take them 3 days after you start your period and they can tell you if you have poor egg quality or are running low on eggs. My guess is the doctor would be able to run more accurate or informative tests in the office.

 

LeslieM - March 5

hi pms...no this is my 3rd pregnancy. i have a 13 year old son, and prior to him i had a miscarriage due to a partial molar pregnany and lost that baby at 16 weeks. i have never used ovulation test..any type of test for that matter as i havent found it necesary. i probably would have this time if things had not gone so easily....but i would have waited until after 6 months of trying. i am 38..if younger i probably would wait a year. i have been very blessed and have had an easy time conceiving. i have also believed that worry and pressure and stress about it can only hinder things. my suggestion to you is to decide when you are ready and then go for it. pay attention to your cycles, but have fun with it and worry only if its necesary. take it easy :) hugs.

 

3_babies_at_41 - March 6

Hi pms (love the name), talk to your doctor about early menopause, and heredity. Actually, I had my first baby at 37 (miscarried about a year before). Now I'm 41 & ttc my 4th child. I thought for sure I'd stop at 40 ---- as I do have 3 young babies, but I think I want to "give it a go"; one- more- time. It seems they always say the biological clock is ticking ----- once you're over 30/35, but more & more women are having babies much later in life these days. Hope everything works out for you!

 

nancy37 - March 8

Your situation sounds similar to mine. I married at 35 and decided it would be best to not wait because ttc could take a long time. Well...it happened first try and I had my first baby at 37. She's 17 months now. I finally convinced dh that we'd better hurry up and ttc again because we're both 39 now. I'm 3 weeks pregnant and again, it happened right away. Everyone is different. I was so worried we'd have troubles and there weren't any. I would talk to your doctor as someone else suggested. Good luck!

 

pms74 - March 9

Thanks everyone for your input. Guess I had nothing to worry about however, because I found out today I am pregnant!! My first month off the pill and we did the deed ONCE. So much for waitng! But I m super excited and terrified at the same time.

 

pms74 - March 9

Oh, also PMS is my initals, hence the username. Pretty seet, huh?

 

chandellina - April 9

maybe this thread is dead but i just wanted to weigh in to say that waiting is not a great idea as you get closer to 35. Fertility starts dropping off dramatically at 35, and again around 37.5. That is well-doc_mented and shows that many women truly can't afford to wait. I married at 31 (DH was 27) and we made the mistake of waiting until i was 35 to start ttc. We conceived on our first month trying, which seemed to vindicate the wait, but i miscarried at 8 weeks. I fell pregnant again four months later but again miscarried. Two years of nothing but a lot of emotional turmoil followed, during which we underwent every fertility investigation and treatment. I was ready to start a third round of IVF when amazingly i fell pregnant naturally, a month before my 38th birthday. I am now 23 weeks along and feel incredibly blessed. The lesson i learned is time is precious and not everything goes according to plan. If our first pregnancy had worked it would have been fabulous and we would hopefully be on number two now. As it is, we are so happy it looks like we will have one, but the chances beyond that are very, very slim now. (based on my age and history). Good luck whatever you decide!! i just hate to see women think that they have time just because it is becoming more common to delay motherhood. Because of the delay, it is also becoming more common to fail.

 

pms74 - April 17

Thanks so much for your input Chandellina. I guess this thread is not dead after all. After reading your submission I was glad that we went ahead and got off birth control. We concieved almost immediately and I had an ultrasound this week at 9 and 1/2 weeks and everything looks great. As overwhelmed as I am with how fast everything is happening, I am very happy and excited too. Congratulations also on your pregnancy!

 

Tasman Bay Butterfly - April 19

Congrats, PMS on your pregn ancy! I'm 33, too and early menopause runs in my maternal family. I have had 2 m/c's in the last 2 years and I'm not ttc at this moment. It may be close to a year before we ttc. I worry about fertility, too. But, for those who might be interested, there is also an ultrasound test where they look at the follicles on your ovaries and count your reserve. It gives a good indication of "how much time you have left." I also had some hormonal imbalances, but I have been using bioidentical hormone creams (Progensa (progesterone), DHEA, and Pregnolone) for some time now and I am definately hormonally balanced now and my fibroids have shrunk significantly as well. So, I can't wait until we start ttc in the not so distant future.

 

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