TTC BFP S SUPPORT FOR THOSE 35 AND OVER PART 12 BABYDUST

184 Replies
Aspen8 - September 15

KRISTIN - Don't apologize! You should feel free to get things off your chest here! Your MIL sounds AWFUL! I can't BELIEVE what she did with your daughter and the black flower/clothes. Who on EARTH does she think she is?!?!?!??!!? I would have leveled her right then, regardless of what the fallout was going to be. You have MUCH more restraint than I do! Wow. I can't believe you have to put up with that. As you said, she is NOT your mother and it's not reasonable to expect you to act as if she were. Sheesh. Oh..and your new designation for what "DH" stands for is hysterical! :-) Made me laugh out loud. MY UPDATE - Today is cd14 and I'm surprised that I haven't seen a positive OPK yet. I'm sure I will today and then the question will be whether I ovulated the same day or the day after. Anyway, hubby and I did the deed yesterday because I saw eggwhite cm and we will today too. So even if I somehow missed my LH surge, we're getting the important days covered I think.

 

runnershirl - September 15

Wow Kristen--I'm sorry your MIL is being so difficult. Like Aspen I would have had to put my foot down with the black attire/flower situation. But, like you, I also let things slide at times to avoid bigger drama. Some people just don't get it no matter what you do. You're quite a strong woman to be dealing with that--but it sounds like your MIL really is envious of the relationship you have with your own mom and is trying to force the same from you. Little does she know, those things take time and respect, not force. Hopefully she'll get it soon --for your sanity's sake. Aspen, don't worry about your OPK being a little late. I thought the very same thing on my conception month. In fact, I think I had a positive OPK on Mon or Tues and was surprised and nervous as to why the RE was waiting til Fri & Sat for the IUI's? Apparently it worked? I did read something about it taking a couple days for the eggs to travel--so I don't know...Just bd in a day or two too to be safe. Krissy, I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to respond sooner, but how are you? Last post I read was about your dark clotty bleeding? Did you find anything more out? I had the same thing 2 months prior to conception and have later learned to believe that I might have conceived that month and later m/c. No confirmation of course, but you have to feel encouraged in the idea that you CAN get pregnant. Hang on to the positives. And, they say if you m/c, you can get pregnant immediately after as your hormones are balanced. I will keep my fingers crossed for you and the others. Baby dust to you girls... Hugs.

 

Krissy68 - September 15

Aspen8 - How are you doing? Well this is my second week of them being gone and trust me it still feel like she is still here because all of her c___p is still in the living room. I just haven't been motivated to clean it up yet I know I need to well I think I am going to move the 3 big boxes out that she was going to mail off but she ran out of money so I am just going to push them out to the garage in her own speacil corner with the rest of her junk and trust me I might just start throwing things away. Well yesterday I threw the base to the baby carseat away because by the time she comes back she will be in a big girl carseat so I think I will keep the oldest granddaughters carseat. Good Luck to you and I am keeping my fingers cross for you. Kristin72- How are you doing today and feeling? I take it still no baby. I can't wait any longer I want her to be here already so than you can really tune your mil out. I think she really need to be checked and I think you are the one to do it because I can tell by your venting that she is really p__sing you off and I take it dh don't want to get involved. She is so stupid to even think that you and her would have the same relationship as you and your mother she really needs to get a life and that would have been the finally straw of her talking about the way I dress my daughter. Hang in there. Rub your belly for me and do some deep breathing exercise. Hey girls here is my very little update. I think I might take a little break I am just not in the mood to try I guess I am still taking my temp when I remember and I did start using the opk on Sunday cd10 well today I got my bfp I did bd yesterday in the early morning hours but we didn't this morning so I am not sure if we will tonight it really don't bother me one way or the other. I am however looking forward to this Friday it is payday and I will be able to send in $75 so my new balance will either be $450.00 or $275.00 so it is looking real good to have it done before the end of the year. I am hoping to do it while the kids go on Xmas break and I think that will be Dec 18 I have to double check on that. Also I am trying to pull off having a tea party for my baby daughter she will be turning 5 on Oct 7 I did find a coffee house that will let me use their meeting room and charge me $20/hour I am only reserving it for 2 hours and I want all the little girls dress like little princesses. I will keep you posted on that one. I hope you all have a great evening and I will talk to you in the morning. Krissy

 

Krissy68 - September 15

runnershirl - How are you and baby doing? Rub your belly for me any new updates. You don't have to worry about getting back to me take your time. I think the last time I was on the site was Friday. I really feel in my heart that I did have a m/c and I did finally stop bleeding and on Sunday cd 10 I started using my opk and today cd12 I got a bfp so I might test tomorrow and see. I am not really feeling in the mood about ttcing if it happens than it will happens. I did bd yesterday in the early morning hours but we didn't today so maybe this evening who knows and at this point who cares. I think right now I am focus on planning my soon to be 5 year old dd a tea party for her birthday and getting the money since I can really start to see the end of the rainbow I think I might call the fertility doctor and talk to the nurse about getting on bc because that way they can time the surgery better and I can have it in December it's just a thought. Take care. Krissy

 

runnershirl - September 15

Baby and I are fine thus far. Just finished week 9 and am working on week 10. Did glucose and other blood tests this morning and am to go to genetic counseling tests in the next 2 weeks. DH and I need to test for downs and other defects and do some soul searching on what we would do IF. We don't both agree on this topic. I have heard that sometimes the tests are wrong so I wouldn't want to terminate a defected baby, if it wasn't in fact defective...but, i don't want to keep one out of my own selfish need for a baby if it couldn't have full life...so i don't know what i'd do. I'm just praying that I won't have to make that decision. Also don't wnat amnio because 1/200 have miscarriages...I worked wayyy too hard to think about that. Tough couple weeks of decisions ahead. Overall, I'm super duper tired (in bed by 8 last night and up at 7:30), fighting some nausea and lots of burping, but much else is the same. I'm showing alot for someone only 10 weeks, and I'm not sure why. We had our u/s and it detected 1 bambino (but we were only 7 weeks along so I'm curious whether there could still be another.) I'm due mid-April. I love sleep now...my favorite thing to do. DH is getting more excited too... MIL wants to come shop for baby, but putting me in the middle of a dispute between she and her son--they haven't talked in months, but it's a tough call because she needs to know about the baby too --so, I'm hoping that works out soon. Also, dealing with family issues on my side and potentially putting my grandmother in a nursing home, and everyone's fighting about it all. Life is never dull in my world. If you feel that emotionally you are spent Krissy, than take a little time off. I did that a couple times. Keep in mind that you have a plan and goal and it's around teh corner. Aspen has felt rejuvenated since she had her time off, so maybe it would help you feel better? You too have a lot on your plate. I'll rub my baby for you. Can't wait to here that Kristin had an easy delivery and her dd is here. :)

 

runnershirl - September 15

I meant that I'd rub the belly for you...

 

Kristin72 - September 15

Thanks Ladies, You girls have always been my rock..it is hard to complain about things to people that you see everyday as you truly do not want them in your business. I don't think it is really that appropriate to discuss personal stuff with people you do know all to well as it can fire back at you. I am still being driven nuts..it's almost a joke how she is..so sweet and coniving all at the same time. I just happened to mention her sons extra curricular activities of recent past and she seemed shocked and defencive of her son so I thought why did I bother getting myself all worked up again. Anyway without getting into a long drawn out story again. My blood pressure went through the roof last night 148/98. I called the hospital and they told me to come in. But this was at 10:30pm and so I had a cup of tea and tried to relax for a bit and took my bp again and it went back to normal so I thought I'll wait until the morn until I contact my OB. She said to come in if I felt ill and my bp was ok again. So I thought I'll just wait till tomorrow. So..I have my OB app inm the morn and I guess she will decide my fate of this pregnancy. I am truly only 3 days past due if I go by my original edd. Or a week and 2 days if I go by the other edd. So I will update when after my app tomorrow. Aspen, when I concieved with my dd I ovulated late. So like runnershirl said you seem to have your days covered. Just give your dh a spike of zinc,almonds, oysters etc..I have heard these can increase sperm count. look it up online hey it can't hurt right? Krissy, thanks again for your support. If you feel you need a break go for it. Your idea of a tea party sounds so sweet. I wish you all the best whatever you decide. runnershirl, how is everything going for you how are you feeling? have you had your beta's checked? wishing you all the best!!!xoxo

 

Kristin72 - September 16

water broke at 10:30 last night. went in 2 hours later to hospital. had 2 options to be given pitocin or to go home and come back this morning so i can go into labour on my own. My contractions have started through the night but are sporatic right now. will update when i can with baby on hand. xo

 

dreamy2433 - September 16

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Aspen8 - September 17

KRISTIN - Ooooohhhh...Kritin's havin' her baby!!! YAY!! Oh my. I can't believe how excited I am. I feel like I actually know you. You have so many other...uh..."challenges"...to deal with, with DH and MIL and all, I'm so happy that something so wonderful has happened for you. It's been such an interesting experience sharing your journey with you for the last 20+ months. I'm sure you're holding your new little one by now. I can't wait to hear from you. RUNNERSHIRL - I know that the topics of testing and possible termination are outrageously personal and emotional. I see all sides and respect the opinions of all sides. Ultimately, I have to take the stand that each woman/couple can only weigh all of the factors involved and make the decision that is the "most right" for them. And the rest of the world, though they may disagree with every fiber of their beings, should keep their opinions to themselves. I know that if I am lucky enough to get pregnant, I will test, including either a CVS or an amnio. I will test because I HAVE to know. I'm not even touching the topic of whether or not I would/could elect to terminate right now...my brain can't even go there until it has to...but I know I will test. Considering my caretaking history - 12 years with two invalid parents and a bunch of random other caretaking stints - I know that I would come unglued if I were to receive that kind of "surprise" on delivery day. I'm not saying that I couldn't sign on for that much more caretaking, but I'd need to know about it ahead of time and prepare myself completely. It's just the way I'm wired. Anyway, I hope you don't need to make the toughest of the tough decisions at all but I also know that if you have to, you'll make the right decision for you. KRISSY - Sweetie, you've had a really rough month or so between the death of a person close to your family, your daughter's move, your probably m/c, and the rest of the c___p that stresses us out on a daily basis. OF COURSE you should take a break if you feel you need it! OMG! Are you kidding me? It sounds to me like you covered the most important bases this month...don't worry about being "perfect." Call it good enough and relax. Be good to yourself and replenish the well a bit, so to speak. (Oh...and get your daughters c___p out of your living room so you can move on and relax! Lol.) MY UPDATE - Well...I don't know why I ovualted so late this month but I did. I only ovulated late before when I was on a medicated cycles. The vast majority of nonmedicated cycles I O'd on cd13, with some cd14s and cd12s thrown in there for good measure. This month it was cd 15 though....could even have been the wee hours of cd16. Dh and I covered the important days this month and will bd one last time for good measure later today or tonight. After that, we've done all we can do for this cycle and it's time for the 2ww. Thanks for everyone's support and encouragement. I'm in a strange place right now. I am absolutely NOT giving up or anything close to it. I AM feeling a bit deflated. I read success stories almost daily involving women who are 44, 45, 46, 47 so I know it can be done. I also know it's less likely the higher you climb in that age range. And I'm a-climbin'! And my husband's latest s____n a___lysis was incredibly disheartening. With his morphology numbers, our chances of a natural bfp - even if I were 30 - are very, very slim. It happens though. Miracles happen. So part of me is discouraged and beginning to think that it's just not going to happen and that I'm an idiot for holding on to the hope that it might. The rest of me says that's bullsh*t and if miracles happen for other people - and they do - there's no reason to a__sume that it can't happen for us. It ain't over til it's over and I'm still ovulating, so....I'm still going to try to conceive. I have to admit though that I'm dreading this weekend. I'm going to a baby shower. You know how hard those things can be. Additionally, the girl who is pregnant is one of the girls that I taught for 7 years in my work with the high school. She saw me as a "second mother" and has asked me to be the baby's godmother. I said yes, of course, and am looking forward to it. However, it's going to be bittersweet...helping to take take of someone else's infant when I so desperately want my OWN to take care of...just like the wall in my house that's covered with pictures of someone else's children (all my nieces and nephews). Geez- where did all of that come from today? I didn't mean to get all whiney on you. I'm going to shut up, shake it off, and go for a long walk. That'll help.

 

Aspen8 - September 18

Hi ladies. Just a quick hello in the midst of a crazy day. I probably won't get a chance to stop back until Monday. Hope you're all well and KRISTIN, I'm thinking of you and your little one constantly. Have a great weekend everyone!

 

Krissy68 - September 18

Aspen8 - How are you doing? I am just having the worse day of my life everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. For starters I was short on my car note and they are trying to sue me and come get my car for guess what $82.00 I said you have got to be kidding me. Then I get a call from the finance company that my oldest daughter went through and they are trying to sue me as well. Her car don't even work and I told them to come and pick up the d__n car they said no they didn't want it and besides they would still sue me for the car so I mind as well keep it and make arrangements so I did that. I guess my baby daughter will not be having the world greatest tea party after all. Keeping my fingers cross for you. I totally understand how you are feeling because I am feeling the same way and I think you are right I am going to just take it easy and whatever happens happens I don't care right about now. I did send in another payment but now I wish I didn't with all this other c___p coming at me today and that didn't cheer me up like it normally would have. I guess I just need to get home and unwind and not think about anything. I hope you have a very nice weekend. Krissy

 

Kristin72 - September 18

Hello my dear friends!! Well..It's a Girl!! Name still pending I posted a little pic I took this morning. She is just and angel. My gosh. She was born Weds Sept 16th at 3:08pm. Smooth delivery..she was out in 20 minutes. My water broke Tues evening at 10:30 pm. I went to the hospital at about 12:30 and then they sent me home to have my labour kick start naturally. I was contracting by about 4:30 at by the time I reached the hospital at 10:30 am I was having contractions about every 5 minutes or so. Then they slowed down. I was given the pitocin and an epidural which only froze one side of my lower half but eventually they evened it out. I am still in disbelief about this little miracle of miracles. Thank you Aspen and Krissy for my journey with you both thankyou also to my more recent friends here that have guided me and helped me along the way. |IT can be done. I posted a little pic of my peanut I took this morning at 1 1/2 days old. I will update more when I get a chance and when dh and I can agree on the name.. Love you gals!!

 

Aspen8 - September 19

KRISTIN - SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!! Oh my. I don't know what to say besides that. She's just perfect. I'm so happy for you. How is the big sister doing? I hope your MIL isn't driving you insane. Let us know as soon as you know her name. I can't wait to hear! Way to go, Mama! You did AWESOME! KRISSY - Holy cow, you really ARE having a terrible day! I'm so sorry. That's a lot to have hit you all at once. I hope you're able to just b__w it off this weekend and relax a bit and not worry about too much. It's always something, isn't it? Talk to you Monday. MY UPDATE - FF put my crosshairs in today for ovulation on cd15, which is what I thought too (or in the wee hours of cd16). Either way, my temps are in definite post-o range and I'm definitely in the 2ww now. Have a great weekend everyone. Congratulations again Kristin!

 

runnershirl - September 20

Kristen~Congrats!!!!! She is so precious! I'm sure you are so relieved that you can now hold and love your peanut! I'm really happy for you. And whether you know this or not, I htink of you often for what you've gone thru and it strengthens me thru my own issues. How's your DH behaving and the MOL since the baby came? I hope your mom was able to be with you. Aspen~Thx for the input on the testing. You know--you are right about being a caregiver and how much it can take out of you. I am physically drained for being what seems like my dh's caregiver thru his spinal surgeries and am still waiting for him to take back all his prior responsibilities. In fact, just today, my hormones hit a hi of frustration--I'm exhausted, am showing ALOT (look like I'm 4 mos) and I can't get the man to help wtih anything. If I want laundry for the week, I must do it. If I wnat dinner that's not drive thru, I must cook it. I loaned him my car last week cuz his battery is dead and heaven forbid he fix it, and 2x he didn't come get me on time. Am I being overly sensitive or does it seem (feels to me) that he doesn't give a **** about me. Now, removing the emotions, I know he does love me dearly. I know he's super excited about the baby and I know he will be best dad I've ever known--but he falls into this slump (and with it being football season it doesn't help) that he doesn't contribute enough--not the way I need/want it. I told him today that I need his help and he still just watched football. I'm frustrated...I need more. Cuddles, loving, communiction, HELP would all be nice. And he's normally better than all that, but lately he's falling back into a slump and I feel like I have to depend on ME to get thru this. Normally I can overlook his lazy days, but I'm getting bitter. My point (besides venting to the only girls I think I can vent to who won't judge him entirely) is that if the baby were to have problems too, it would probably be the death of me. Caring for DH for 3 spinal surgeries in 3 years, and although he's now ABLE to get up and do things, he's often immobilized by meds, depression or pain. I'm not saying that if something were wrong with the baby that I would know what I would do, becuase I don't know if I COULD do anything...but, please pray for me ladies that the baby is healthy. Please also pray that DH starts to contribute more to help me because I can't be the bread winner and everything else too while he's down and out post surgery. I really thought his excitement would push him thru this and although it has at times, other times, he just doesn't move. As I write this, I already know part of hte answer is to talk to him, so I'll try that soon...but what pregnant woman wouldn't be scared that this is a sign of bad thigns to come--I don't want to be a single parent-single prego person...I need his involvement!!! (thanks for letting me vent) Also Aspen, how was the baby shower and how did YOU hold up? I hoep it wasn't too rough. I had a baby shower to host the month before I conceived too and it was really tough--the thing that got me thru it was that I was in my 2ww and didn't know yet. Maybe the baby shower will bring you good luck. Don't give up hope...miracles DO happen--and that is what I like to think mine is--a little miracle. It's nearly impossible to go thru this month after month without personally reflecting upon the process. I'm sorry I couldn't write you sooner to cheer you up. From experience, I do feel your pain though...I hope you're feeling better today. Krissy, it sounds like you're going thru a rough time too. I wish I had soemthing encouraging to say today but I feel so run down myself. I guess (as I often remind myself), we aren't given any challenges we cannot handle, so we should do the best we can to push thru. Sounds cliche, but so true at the same time...each challenge that I've grumbled through has only made me better prepared for something down the road. I'll pray for calm in yoru life too.

 

Aspen8 - September 21

RUNNERSHIRL - I can see why you're so frustrated with your DH. I so understand why you feel drained and why his help and support are so necessary right now. Has he always had those issues or is that new, since his surgery? My dad suffered on and off with depression and "lazy days" and it drove my mother nuts. He was a wonderful man and my Mom loved him dearly but when he shifted into "slug mode" it was tough sometimes. I will definitely keep you and your dh in my prayers. The baby shower was really hard. Almost everyone there was very young and several were pregnant. I felt old and dried up and stupid for even thinking that I could get pregnant and be "part of the club." On the other hand, it was a lot of fun and I'm very happy for the mother-to-be. I'd have to say that I feel a little beat up myself today but I know it'll pa__s quickly and I'll be fine. Thanks for asking. KRISTIN - Thinking of you lots. Congrats again. I hope your older daughter is enjoying being a big sister and I can't wait to hear the name you choose. KRISSY - How was your weekend? Did you get some rest at all? MY UPDATE - I'm 5dpo today and my temperatures are good. They're low compared to lots of other people but they're normal post-o temps for me. Just waiting now. Five days down, 10 more to go. I'm busy enough these days that for the most part the 2wws just fly by and I don't really obsess that much at all. Happy Monday all!

 

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