TTC BFP S SUPPORT FOR THOSE OVER 35 40 1 In 2010

261 Replies
JuliaB - January 19

Hello. Well, bad news as expected. The sac should have grown about 14mm, but it only grew 3. The doctor was very supportive, but at the end of the day, this one is not going to work out. I scheduled an u/s for two weeks, in case my body has not resolved this on its own and to give me piece of mind. I know this one will not work out, but I really don't want another D&E if possible. If my body has not resolved it in two weeks, he thinks I should really consider the D&E if the sac is still empty but still growing. As it gets bigger, the loss gets more traumatic. He also mentioned a drug called Medformin(sp?) that is sometimes used to help early m/c sufferers. Has anyone heard of this? It is apparently used for diabetes, but has had success for m/c. It's only a pill, so that is fine. I don't want to go back to the specialist, but I am on board with trying a pill. This dr at my u/s place has a very good reputation as perinatal specialist, and has a good bedside manner. He followed me all along this time, plus I saw him once in the past. He is helping to make this a little bearable, so I am glad he is there. Sorry for the gloomy post. Of course I would much rather give good news, but at least it was not unexpected, and at least it turned out not to be a molar/ectopic. Now I wait. I am debating telling my work what's happening, so I can limit my long trips while I am waiting for this to resolve. I fear being at a client 2 hours away, and suddenly m/c there. Thanks again for all your support. I really really appreciate it!!

 

JuliaB - January 19

Also, to earlier comments - yes, I was tested for all those things. I can safely say I have been probed, tested, and generally put through the mill. In fact, I am pretty sure that I actually didn't need some of the tests. But I appreciate the suggestions. Keep 'em coming!

 

Kristin72 - January 19

Julia, so sorry. I had to take misoprostol (not sure if it is the same thing)to bring on a miscarriage. I just inserted two pills and then it brought on some cramping and inevitably I started to bleed with clots. It was all over very soo like a af.. I also had relief in some regards as this was the loss where there was no hearbeart seen and it only grew to 3mm at 9 weeks.It was a missed miscarriage. I must tell you I got pregnant again the following cycle with a chemical..and then again the cycle after that with my daughter. I wish you the BEST of luck ttc again. Just get back on the horse my friend..that is all I can tell you if you enough stamina to keep trying. FYI I was going through some files today and I had kept my positive pregnancy tests..I also have my ultrasound pics even from the losses I had. It made me sad...to see these little beans that never made it. I also have the beta count of 18,900 when I had my ectopic in Sept \07..if only that little one had implanted a cm further down it may have made it. oh well. Anyway, I was hoping to come here today and read some good news. I wish you the best. Try not to get too down about this. A new start could be just around the corner. :) Julia what things have you been tested for previously? Can you refresh my memory. Could you consider IVF? Or is that out of the question?

 

JuliaB - January 20

Hi Kristin - Thank you for your kind and supportive words. The Medformin that I referred to is a drug to help prevent early misses. I would start taking it before I started trying again. They did not offer (and actually have never offered me in 5 losses - hmmmm) Misoprostol. I have been tested for Chlamydia and a battery of other items, between my dr and the 2 specialists, but they have found nothing. Hence, the "You have old eggs, and are just sc___ping the bottom of the barrel" diagnosis I received. Like Aspen (I think I read this), I am also not a candidate for IVF. No matter how strong the drugs they gave me, I only made 1-2 eggs each cycle. The Medformin is not an infertility drug, per se, but apparently in cases like mine (advanced maternal age, no apparent cause for early misses, etc.), it has had some success. It does something with Insulin and Ovaries, and I think the idea is it helps the ovaries push out the not-so-old eggs. I have made a promise to myself to stay away from the specialists, but I am thinking of trying this. There is no invasive follow-up, etc. The only limit is it is not good for people with Kidney or Heart issues, so I'm willing to give it a go for a little while. On a side note, with every m/c, I have not gotten pg right away after. It has always taken many months. I have averaged about 1 pg a year until 2009, where I had 2. I used to try to hold onto that hope, but that only made things worse and more stressful.

 

Kristin72 - January 20

Julia,Misoprostol induces miscarriage..I think if you are not miscarrying on your own this may be considered. It opens or ripens the cervix. It is also called the abortion pill. It is used in early pregnancies that are not progressing properly and for those who want to avoid D&C's. Metformin..is that a fertility drug? I may be mistaken but I thought it was used to induce ovulation or egg production. Maybe they offer that to you as they want to regulate your cycle..so you can get pregnant again. If you can avoid another D&C that would probably be better. I had a D&C just before the cycle where they gave me the misoprostol hoping to avoid a D&C. I know we are all different with our ttc issues. I am not suggesting you can get pregnant right away. But for me for some strange reason I kept getting pregnant right after my losses. Maybe my body was already use to being pregnant. What is your age again? Many "bottom of the barrel" women get pregnant. I hate when doctors say that as they have been wrong with you and many others. Best of luck to you, and let us know how things progress for you. :)

 

JuliaB - January 20

Hi - I think lots of women get pg right after a m/c, and I used to hope I was one of them and could take advantage of the "increased fertility" that many women experience then. However, that is not the case. Oh well. Probably a silly thing to hope, but you know how this goes. I am 40. My drs did not say that I would never get pg, but that I would pretty much always m/c, unless I "got lucky." Metformin is not an infertility drug. It is used in the treatment of diabetes, but somewhere along the way, it was discovered it may be useful to work against early m/c (less than 9 weeks). The dr yesterday told me that he himself has had success in 3-4 patients with it, so he is an advocate of trying it. He is not an infertility dr, but has dealt with such issues as a perinatal specialist. One of my infertility specialists had recommended him to consider clotting issues, so I guess he has had to consider other infertility issues. I really liked him, he seemed to listen to me, we discussed IVF, etc. But I would still like to get more info on Metformin, and, in the past, my reg ob/gyn has said she is not an infertility expert and can't really answer infertility questions. The other dr in that practice seems more infertility-friendly, so maybe she can give me more information, too.

 

Aspen8 - January 20

JULIA - I'm so, so sorry that this isn't the one either. So sorry. Here's what I know about metformin...and you've probably already read all this too. It's an insulin sensitizer. In an oversimplification, when the body is making too much insulin because there is insulin resistance, that somehow increases the amount of androgens the ovaries make, which can reduce the quality of the eggs (because the follicle fluid has too many androgens in it) and in some cases, stop ovulation altogether. In those women, the metformin can help restart ovulation by lowering insulin and therefore lowering androgen levels. It is believed/postulated that in women who already ovulate but who have insulin resistance there may be ovualation/oocyte dysfunction that isn't "visible" to testing. Improved eggs = improved ovulation = improved fertilization and clinical pregnancy rates. Also, it's believed/hypothesized that reducing insulin resistance and insulin levels may help improve the uterine environment during the first trimester. Others postulate that ovaries themselves may respond better to other hormones like FSH, etc. if/when insulin and sugar levels are improved. There are tests for insulin resistance, but a simple fasting blood sugar level isn't necessarily one of them. In other words, a great fasting sugar level could mean that you have LOTS of insulin....because of underlying insulin resistance. So this could be operating in the background for even non-pre-diabetic women and women who don't have any real weight issues. Lastly, some researchers think that there's something else at work altogether and that metformin has fertility applications in ways that are not yet understood. I just read an abstract not too long ago about a study that showed some increased IVF success in women taking metformin even when they were NOT diabetic, NOT pre-diabetic, NOT overweight, and NOT fitting the criteria for insulin resistance. So who the hell knows? Lol. ;-P I've read lots of info...not all of the sources agree with each other. I've considered taking it myself and still may so I'd be very interested in any information you can pa__s along. Some things to consider and ask your doc about: 1. Lots of people report feeling LOUSY on metformin. The key, for many, many people, seems to be to start with a very low dose (say 1/4 to 1/2 of a 500mg tablet) and work up gradually. Another option is to ask for the extended release tablets instead of the immediate release tablets. Some people do both - ask for extended release AND gradually build the dosage. 2. It's important that your renal and liver functions are normal so that you aren't at increased risk for a rare but bad side effect called lactic acidosis. The vast majority of people have zero issues here but it would be worth educating yourself about just to be on the safe side. Ask your doctor about the use of alcohol and metformin. One source cautioned against the "excessive" use of alcohol while on the drug, but I don't know what "excessive" means to that source or what the possible side effect might be. As Kristin said, if you have the stomach for continuing to try to get - and stay - pregnant, god love ya and we're here for you every step of the way. If not...I soooo get that too!

 

Aspen8 - January 20

HELLODOLLY - So YOU'RE the one I lost that ebay auction to! Lol. Yeah...I buy OPKs there all the time. Though most of then are awful....don't work....you wouldn't want to bid on any of them any more. Hahahaha. Just kidding. I'm sure you did but don't forget to check the listing for the expiration date. Lots of the boxes sold on Ebay are expired. (Which may or may not matter...don't know.) BTW, if you never have mid-cycle spotting, that spotting you saw might be an EXCELLENT sign. I never, ever, ever, EVER bleed in the middle of a cycle so if that happened to me during that magic 7-10dpo time frame I'd be working hard not to get my hopes up too much (and probably failing terribly). Will you test early using or wait until the expected AF day? TWINS - I hope I didn't give you the impression that the effects of clomid are permanent. They aren't. When you stop taking clomid, the bad side-effects go away. I just meant that IF you're one of those people who has bad side-effects from clomid, they don't get better in subsequent cycles. In other words, your body doesn't "get used to it" and stop having those side-effects. Know what I mean? In fact, the side effects often get worse over time. But they STOP and you go back to normal when you stop taking clomid. And some people have no trouble w/ clomid at all. I did. Letrozole (Femara) instead was great for me. Good luck this month! KRISTIN - Just wanted to say hi. Soo..."Hi!" :-) MY UPDATE - Well...it's CD1 for me. :-( And I'm planning to drown my sorrows in a left-over bottle of champagne tonight. :-) I'll tell myself that I'm celebrating the beginning of a new cycle and another chance to get pregnant. How's that for a ridiculously "gla__s half full" mentality? Lol.

 

HelloDolly - January 20

Aspen8, ya that was me! LOL And yes, you have to use them before they expire. They don't stay sensitive past the date. Also, if there is any tear in the package don't use it. Well, we have decided to test tomorrow am. It will be 12DPO. I have the sensitive ones, so we shall see. AF not due till 24th. I don't usually have spotting midcycle or after intercourse. I did on Monday but not last night. ? and since then, nothing when I wipe. So again we shall see. I am always afraid that things are just in my head, and not real. My other pregnancies were so long ago, I can't remember what I had. I know I don't get the morning sickness, but I get frequent heartburn. I have been having some, but funny, if I eat broccoli I dont' get it as bad. Then again, I play head games with myself even about that. LOL I just don't know if I am going to be one that has issue because of my age. And WE ARE NOT BOTTOM OF THE BARRAL ladies!!! I would have kicked that darn doctor for even implying it as a joke! I nursed for 16 yrs and some doctors should not be license simply for the fact they suck at handling people! Baby dust!!!

 

JuliaB - January 20

Hi. Aspen - The dr did mention that the metformin needs to be administered at a low dosage and slowly built up. He also mentioned that the drs are split on effectiveness. Now I feel even better, because it sounds like he has given it the proper consideration. Plus, I am overweight, so maybe that is contributing. If I could just stop stress-eating (or just stop being stressed - haha), then that would certainly help. Dh has agreed to help us get a handle on our weight, so hopefully, all of these will work together to make it work. I absolutely plan to keep trying, even though my mother wishes with all her heart that I would stop, and consider adoption. I have considered it, but we are too old in the US for typical adoption, and it costs about $20K to adopt from overseas. Plus, I am not discouraged. I hope that all of this failure is more like practice (I hope that makes sense - I am certainly not minimizing the losses) and the real thing will happen and we'll be successful. Otherwise, what has all this been for? HelloDolly - My old dr. actually was serious. The bottom of the barrel comment was an exact quote. Lovely, eh? Of course, that was the last month I went there. If they decided that I was sc___ping, and not an IVF candidate, then what could they possibly offer me? At least that was the message I was getting (or maybe that is what I wanted to hear). I have been much happier since I stopped. I did not solicit the metformin advice yesterday, but the dr gently mentioned it when I was clear I intended to keep trying. Well, the brightside to all of this (as if there could be one) is that I can finally dye my hair. I was scared to before because I heard that you should not if you are pregnant. I have dark and (very) grey roots, with light brown hair. I have never let it go this long, but I was going to take care of it when I found out I was pg, and it had been too long then.

 

JuliaB - January 20

My point above was, if I look better, maybe I will feel better, so I am off to fix my hair, which should make me look a lot better.

 

HelloDolly - January 20

JuliaB, I am a bit over weight as well. My doctor recommended not eating any white bread or flour products. I have change from eating regular past to wheat pasta and guess what, in one month I lost 8lbs! I eat a high fiber, high protien, lots of veggies and fruit, with only high grain carbs. I also cut out all junk/fast foods, or food with perservatives. I did this and the pounds started to drop off. I have been trying to loose weight since feb. when we started to talk about all this. I have since lost 24lbs. and the big change came with the high grain stuffl. My doctor wanted my weight at least under 180 lbs, and I am now under that. I am spanish and have always been over their "standards". but I was a bit more than usual. I feel better now too. (ya I was a bit over 200, I am 5'3") ;~) Good luck, and I don't blame you for continuing to try. I sure would. And find another doctor!!! really!! and by this point I am sure there is nothing they can tell you that you don't know already. I would have kicked that doctor and told him off, and never gone back. Go get prettied up!!! It will make you feel so good!

 

Aspen8 - January 21

HELLODOLLY - Congratulations on the weight loss! Have you read any of the books on Low Glycemic Index "diets"? There's one by Rick (Rich?) Gallup that's a good starting place and another by several women from....uh....Austrailia(?) that's good, though some of the food in that book is a little too fancy for me to actually make except for special occasions. Neither is really supposed to be a diet book...more of a lifestyle change kind of book - w/ more suggestions for how to do more of what you were talking about. Anyway.... Didja test this morning? JULIA - I'll bet you'll feel a lot better if you feel like you're looking better! And don't worry - I know exactly what you mean about "practice". I sort of feel that way and throughout this whole 2-yr mess dh and I have never even gotten a single bfp....so I guess we're just practicing TRYING! Lol. But seriously, there IS that sense that somehow, someway, it'll finally work and all of this will have been worth it. I never for a second thought you were minimizing your losses. I DO think it's going to happen for you. I'm not psychic and have no crystal ball and no basis for saying that whatsoever. But I think it. I really do. And I still think I'm going to end up with a baby too, though it may have to be of the donor egg variety. (Not quite ready to go there, but definitely thinking about it at this point.) Someday when your son or daughter is suffering through a rough patch, you'll want him or her to stop and take the path of less resistance too because it'll be so hard to see them in pain. And they'll ignore you too! :-) This doctor sounds great. He's a regular OB/GYN? MY UPDATE - Well, today is CD2, I think. Yesterday AF never really shifted into full throttle, but it was more than "spotting." So now I'm a little confused about which day was really CD1. I'm going with yesterday and hoping it's not the wrong answer. I have an appointment at Penn Medicine tomorrow for CD3 blood work (FSH and E2) and an ultrasound to look at antral follicle count. I DON'T WANNA!!!!! Dear God, the last time I had to do that was a year ago and it was nerve wracking! I "pa__sed" the FSH thing on CD3 and even the subsequent clomid challenge the following month. But you KNOW it ain't gonna be pretty a year later! I've seen negative changes in my cycle, especially in the last few months - things I've never seen before. I'm 45. OF COURSE I'm going to start seeing changes! I'm expecting tomorrow to SUCK! But in the course of following up on dh's swimmer issues, I was asked to get updated testing done, so....I guess I'm doin' it. Might as well know where I stand, right? (Though - I have to tell you - it's not going to make me stop trying, no matter how bad the news is! I have a very realistic view of my situation at this point but there are enough miracle pregnancy stories out there involving "old" ladies that I refuse to close myself off to the possibility of it happening, you know?) Happy Thursday - and Friday if I don't have a chance to post tomorrow.

 

HelloDolly - January 21

thanks so much aspen8! I have tried different things. But I am not a thin person. Never have been, never will be. In high school is in a size 14 pants. My 17yr old is too. We are double-digit ladies!!! but, on the same note, I was way past what I have usually been around after a terrible bout of depression 2 years ago. What I am fearful of is what I have seen in friends that yo-yo. I eat health, I don't do sweets, I walk or exercise in some way 3x wk. And I am healthy, but not thin. I am happy with that. I hope your test are not too sad. I know ladies at 45 that make it too. as you said, keep trying. I didn't get to this morning, but will tomorrow for sure!!

 

HelloDolly - January 22

Ok, tested this morning and it was negative. I will see if I get my AF on Sunday or Monday, due Sunday. If not I will test again on Tues. That would be a perfect day to see a positive, it is my 41st birthday! Happy Friday to everyone!!

 

JuliaB - January 22

HelloDolly - Thanks for the weight support. I thinks its fabulous that you have made such great progress. I am similar to your pre-loss weight/height. DH and I just had a huge fight this morning about this. We simply don't eat healthy and he gets VERY defensive when I attempt to go down a healthier road. We do typically waste a lot of food when we try to be healthier and then fail, so now he uses that as a wedge. I know he thinks it's no fun, but it's not like he's in much better shape. Plus, neither one of really exercise. We have just introduced homemade smoothies to our lives so that we actually eat fruit, but veggies are still a little out of reach. Here is an exemple of how it goes: Me: Ooh, we have the frozen peaches we got off our tree last year. Let's use them in our smoothies! DH: WHAT? I thought they were for Cobbler? So, I think my work is cut out for me. I hope your test is a bfp Tuesday. Happy Birthday! That would be a great present! Aspen - This can be very frustrating. Are we only ones in this group who are still trying for our first? I have considered Donor Eggs, too, but I wonder how expensive that process is. I also wonder if insurance would kick in any for that? The dr at the u/s place is a perinatal specialist. I am glad that I found him. And speaking of, I called my regular ob/gyn yesterday (2 days past the u/s) because I had not heard from them yet. It seems they did not get to the fax machine yet, because the latest u/s was not with my file. I find this odd. They knew I had the appt, they knew I was facing the loss, and they never even bothered. Then, when I called them, they had to call me back after they found my records. At that point, she asked if I changed my mind about the D&E. I said no, and she asked why I was calling and why did I need to speak to someone. Uh, I don't know - maybe because I just confirmed the loss and wanted to discuss it with my dr. Is it me, or is it odd that they did not understand my need for follow-up. Plus, the metformin information was in there. When I said I wanted to discuss that, she said its an infertility issue, and they can refer me to a specialist. I said no and that I wanted to discuss it with my dr there first. I know I can be demanding, but, wow. My update: The m/c has started. There is not a lot of heavy bleeding, just a steady flow like a normal cycle. Not a lot of cramping. I forget what a natural is like (I've had D&Es for the last 3 out of 4, and the 4th was a chemical). Should I expect the bleeding to last a long time? I measured about 5 weeks, but was closer to 8. I just want to prepare myself. I think it would have started sooner but the progesterone held it off. I stopped it Tuesday, and started the m/c Thursday. I hope the bulk of this resolved by the end of the weekend. Everyone have a great weekend!

 

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