Abortion Guilt

4 Replies
Lucy - November 10

This is my first pregnancy, and it was not planned. At first i entertained the idea of having an abortion, as i didnt have a good job. Now nothing could deter me from having my son and raising him myself. However i find myself feeling bad for entertaining the idea. I am SOOOO glad that i didnt opt for abortion. But i feel guilty for letting it cross my mind. Anyone else feel this? Im not looking for pro-choice, or prolife comments. Just replies from people who made this same decision as me.

 

Lindsay - November 10

Hi Lucy, I did that too. I actually made it to an appointment and broke down and left just minutes before the procedure. I am looking into adoption now, I don't have a job, my family life is unstable (dad has a bad drug prob) and I have a lot of college left to get through. I'm glad I didn't do it too, I sometimes think of all the other pregnant girls I saw in the office when I was there, and how all those little babies are dead now but mine lived. I wonder how much worse I'm going to feel looking at her when she is born knowing I entertained the idea. I guess I'll have to look at it this way, I didn't do it, and the fact that I thought about it and made the decision not to might possibly show even more strength then the people who never consider it at all. In my situation it would have made things a lot easier for me, this was unplanned, I was not trying to get pregnant and its a very bad time for it. I don't have a good job, a husband, a house with an extra room to decorate, and probably will have to go through the pain of giving my daughter away, but I still made the decision not to do it. So don't feel guilty, I know you still will (I can't listen to my own advice) but you made the decision not to, thats ALL that matters, and will probably make you appreciate that little boy's life even more. Look at it this way, thats the sperm that beat all the other ones, possibly (as in my case) thwarted birth control, survived the scary first 3 months (or close to it now I'm a__suming) and with your help escaped the possibility of abortion, he's a little survivor. He's meant to be here.

 

to Lucy - November 10

Please don't feel bad. My mom was VERY young when she was preg. w/me and I know she entertained the idea of an abortion. Actually I know her parents (my grandparents) pushed her for it. But she made the right decision (for her) as I am sure you made for yourself. Its ok to debate your options and your child will never know. And if they do (like me) then they will just have a better appreciation for life! There are WAY more things to worry about and you don't need to worry about something you never did!

 

To Lucy - November 11

I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant with my first. I wasn't married, in the middle of college and was afraid of dissappointing my family. A baby just didn't fit into my nice neat little plan. Although abortion was never an alternative I entertained, I really wished for a miscarriage. I felt that if I would just miscarry I could go back to my normal life. My bf and I got married (he's an awesome guy) and now 10 years later I see it as a big turning point in my life. We have had a great life and my daughter is turning into a wonderful person. I felt guilty about having wanted a miscarriage. There were also times during the first year that I felt overwhelmed and I felt guilty for not giving her up for adoption. I felt like we couldn't give her the things/life that she deserved. So don't be suprised if that hits you to. But they both go away- or at least they did for me. To see her now and what an awesome girl she is, there is no doubt that we made the right decision.

 

L - November 11

My first thought was "OMG! I'm so irresponsible! How did I let this happen!" because my bf & I went a little crazy (that is, didn't use protection) at not seeing each other for a month. Then I thought my bf would be like "We were going to wait another year!", but he was even more into having a baby than I was at first. And he's 27 & I'm 30, so it's not like we're chronologically too young. And we've had big adventures in life, & we consider this a new, exciting adventure! But yeah, for a moment there, after seeing the positive result on pregnancy test, I didn't know WHAT I was gonna do. I just bawled my head off outside away from him, came back in, we pulled each other aside, talked about it, and then the smiles grew! They haven't left since! Good luck!

 

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