Abusive Boyfriend

7 Replies
cindi - March 24

lately my boyfriend has been really nasty toward me. he gets mad at the slightest thing and flies into a rage all the time, it seems. he screams at me or hangs up the phone on me andas usual hecalls and says he is sorry and i always forgive him, but what happended the other day is unforgiveable. I am really sick with the flu but on wednsday i still agreed to drive him to school and pick him up. i felt really weak and my headwas pounding but i was trying to help him. when i get into his car he has the radio on full blast and i asked him to lower it cause my head hurt so bad. he did but only a tiny bit. as we headed downtown he turns it back up and opens the windows all the way. i have the flu and it was 30 degrees here in NY. so i said to him, that i didnt mean to keep complaining but he had to close the windows some and turn the music way down, well that did it. he flew into a rage and ripped the radio off the console. so i told him he was selfish for not caring that i felt like sh** but was still trying to help him anyway. i said if asking him to lower the music was too much then i'm sorry. he looked at me and to go fu** myself. i got out of the car and walked home. he called my cell phone 6 or seven times but i did not answer. i made a stop on the way home cause i knew he would be in front of my building. i know i cannot take his abuse but i am 5 months pregnant and dont want to do this alone. please ladies any advice wouldbe greatly appreciated.i know thisis long, thanks for taking the time to read.

 

bloodlust - March 24

That situation doesn't sound healthy at all. Not for you or your baby. You could try sitting him down and having a serious talk with him. Give him a choice, change or good-bye. I know how extremely hard it is to get out of an abusive relationship but you can do it. And I know the thought of being a single mother is scary but it can be done. Women manage it every day. If he isn't willing to change, you have an innocent person to think about that doesn't deserve to be in that situation. Hope everything works out...good luck.

 

Roary - March 24

This sounds very unhealthy for you and the baby, and I fear that given time his outbursts will just escalate. I agree with bloodlust. It is a very hard thing to do to get out of an abusive relationship but you are absolutely capable of doing so. You have to really think about where you want your life and the life you build for your child to be in a few years time-- and really consider the long lasting ramifications of your boyfriends behaviours on this child.

 

Olivene - March 25

Cindi, It sounds like you would pretty much be doing it alone anyway, as uncooperative as he's likely to be. Having a new baby is stressful enough. You don't need this. Sometimes it is easier and safer to be a single mom. If he can't be understanding when you have the flu, you probably can'texpect him to be when you are in labor, when you are recovering, when the baby is crying, when you ask him to change a diaper, when your two-year-old throws a tantrum, when your kindergarter spills things, when your elementary student gets a little mouthy, when your teenager does one of the many upsetting things they are likely to do... You need to learn to believe in your own strength. You can't be hoping out of the car with a baby in tow. If you are going to end it, sooner is better than later. Good luck. You deserve to have a real partner, if not, then you need to be able to trust the security of your situation, even if that means removing him from your situation.

 

Olivene - March 25

sorry. "hopping" not "hoping"

 

angella r - May 8

hi cindy you deserve so much better. girl you need to realize that situations like that only get worse. and if he is not capable of loving you who he can see. I dont think that he is capable of loving the child. the child does not need the abuse the best think is to break away now. the calls don't mean anything its a way of manuplating to get his way. i suggest that you go to the church for counselling before the situation gets worse. with God all things are possible i know from experience.

 

Ddvinson3 - May 8

Wow. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Are you close with your family? If you are trust me being a single mother won't be so bad! Just let him know that you are worried about how he is going to react when the baby comes. Because trust me that will be a trying time for both of you and with him being abusive I just don't think it is really going to be a good thing. Just get out of it now. So you can have time to adjust to being by yourself before the baby comes. Keep us posted and Good luck!

 

Chrissythefairy - May 8

OMG im so sorry to read this, but you really need to have a talk with him, he might be going through something or maybe he has an issue that hes dealing with and is taking it out on you. He really needs to stop because yout pregnant and shouldnt be stressing at all. Is he normally like this? I hope not, but if he is you really should evaluate your situation now that you are about to be a mother and if he treats you like that how is going to treat your child. I hope he isnt normaly like that because if this is new then it might just be an issue that he needs to work out. I really pray for you and wish you the best. Just know that you and your child deserve nothing but the best.

 

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