Any Suggestions For This Situation

2 Replies
Brandie - September 28

I am divorced but from my marriage came my beautiful daughter. Her father loved her very much and was a wounderful father. I guess we were just to young it didn't work out, I wanted a divorce. After the divorce it was like he didn't love her anymore he told me at one point that he didn't want to see her. I pushed for him to see her not wanting her to ever have to feel unwanted, but after I left him he got into drugs really bad. But the man I am with now loves her and wants to adopt her before our new edition arrives on New Years. We are a very happy family and I relized how much more she could be hurt if she knew her father, after he missed 12 visitations in a row, I called him and told him that he could not see her anymore. I couldn't bare see the look on her face anymore when she asked about him. So I put a stop to it. My partner and I will be able to heal her wounds with time. But my ex got another girl pregnant after we divored, they planned the baby, and he left her when she was in her 4th month. Now the baby is 2.5 months old and I have seen the baby more than he has. He hasn't called to check on him or stop buy to drop off diapers(which was in their agreement) in 2 months. She ran into him yestarday and said he looked pretty bad, and he asked her if she knew where he could get some meth. She said "you know I don't mess with anything like that" but then she told me she asked him when he was going to come see the baby. How do I tell my best friend that I don't agree with the decisions she makes as a mother, and that he shouldn't be anywhere around that baby. But I feel like if I say something she going to think that I just want her to do what I did because I'm mad at him. I kinda think she still wants to be with him and that she's not really thinking about her baby or her other son that he already walked out on once after he had the child calling him daddy. I don't know how to dicuss this with her were she will really hear me. Please help

 

Brandie - September 28

if anyone has a suggestion please let me know, I really need help on this.

 

JONI - September 28

If she is truly a good friend she should listen to you. Tell her that the situation is honestly bothering you and that you want her to hear you out no matter what she doesn't want to hear. Make her understand that by her letting her baby have contact with a drug addict like that will only do detriment to hte child as well as play havic with her emotions. Stress to her that a man that is of his character is not worth the turmoil that he brings. It only causes strife in the long run and the baby has to have stability. As hard as it may be to let him go...she must let him go and start a safer and happier life for herself. Things seem tough in the beginning but once she makes the first step she will never look back. I still feel like the baby has to know who their daddy is..no matter what type of person he is. But he doesn't have the right to be allowed to walk in and out of the baby's life. She is in a bad situation, but I think she will do better by just letting him go emotionally and not have the father be allowed to ruin their lives by his stupidity. He will suffer one day - not her. If she can understand that she is doing what is best for the baby - she will be thankful in years to come. AND...if she doesn't listen to you...well, then you tried and you have to let it go. Know that you tried to help her and then let her deal with the situation and you let her make her decisions whether it's the wrong one or not. Don't let it bother you. Things like this seem to eventually work out . Good luck

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?