Baby Shower Question-pg113820527718

11 Replies
KelyFranz - January 25

I just read the other baby shower question and it made me think about my shower. I have a few complaints and who better to complain to than other pregnant women. I will start by saying I realize that I am being INCREDIBLY selfish. With that said: I am a little upset about the shower that is being thrown for me. Recently my mom's best friend's daughter got married and my mom threw a shower for her. Well now that I'm pregnant, my mom's friend has offered to throw a shower for me. However, she has made it clear that she's only doing it because she feels obligated. I am allowed to invite 10-15 people to the shower (that means I can invite my aunts and my sister-in-laws and thats it). She has sent out the invitations already without asking if the date is ok with me, and it's on the worst possible day, I now have to cancel an out of town trip to visit my college girlfriends that we've been planning. She is making a honeybaked ham and a bean and bacon salad and I do not eat ANY pork and she knows that but says it's more convenient for her to make that. I know she's throwing me a shower, but I almost feel offended. Another worry is that my husband and I are at a very low point financially. We have nothing for the baby and absolutely no money to buy anything and we can only have 15 people max at the shower. My aunts offered to throw a shower for me but my mom told them that her friend had already offered so they aren't going to now. My husband's side of the family doesn't throw showers for daughter-in-laws, just their own daughters (thats just how they are). I know there is nothing you ladies can really say to me, but I guess I just wanted to vent to see what you guys thought and how you would handle the situation. I know I'm being ungrateful, but I feel a tad put off by my mom's friend. Thanks for listening ladies.

 

bean - January 25

Since none of your friends are going to be "allowed" to attend this shower - can you ask a friend to throw one for you? Sounds like you have some good college girlfriends - what about a shower with all of them? There's nothing wrong with having two showers. I love my in-laws to death... but my dh and I have a private joke about how every family gathering is identical - be it baby or wedding shower, funeral, birthday, etc. There is always the SAME food (finger rolls and a sheet cake), the same crowd, held at the same house... I think the only thing that changes is the clothes people wear. lol! But you can't change them.. instead my best friend and I are planning a shower at my home (for me, yes, I know, selfish, but it's the easiest for all of us). I get to choose the menu (tea party) and the guests, and I'm really really looking forward to it. I think you should do the same!

 

KelyFranz - January 25

hey bean, I WISH I could get my girlfriends to throw a shower, but we're all from different states (MI, TX, OH, CT, NY, and DE) and with the get together we already planned it seems impossible to get them together again. Not to mention I'm so bummed not to be able to see them all. I feel like I just want to tell my mom's friend that she should have asked me before she sent out the invitations and I'm sorry but I'll be out of town. If it wouldn't upset my mother, I would do that. Oh yeah, one more complaint, she didn't even send me an invitation. She sent one to my mom and at the bottom put "this one is for Kely too".

 

bean - January 25

Anyway your Mom can help out in this situation? If not, any way you can change the gf's reunion to be in your area, and after the horrible shower is over you all can have your own shower and play games like what to do with leftover ham and beans? :)

 

KelyFranz - January 25

hahah bean!! I won't touch the food, my mom is bringing a meal for me to eat, rude or not rude, I don't care. No chance of rescheduling because the TX girl bought her plane ticket (we're meeting in Ohio). I'll live through this, I just want to live through it while complaining loudly. Thanks so much for your input, I really appreciate it!! I hope you're having a great pregnancy, and by the way, my in-laws do the finger rolls and sheet cake deal too. It's so funny!

 

Tess - January 25

I agree w/ bean - - have one of your friends give you another baby shower. 2 baby showerts wont hurt :) My best friend is giving me a shower around end of March, Im due May 19th. We're doin it at her house. I told her that Im free only on the wkends plus for sure most of my guest wont be able to attend if its a wkday, dont you think? Nehoo, just to make this post short/sweet we're doin a potluck baby shower....do you think thats appropriate? comments?

 

KelyFranz - January 25

I personally think that the shower is in honor of you, so if it's good for you then I definitely think it's appropriate.

 

Kira_lynn - January 25

Personally i would flip. Im outspoken and if my moms friend wanted to throw me a shower, because she feels obligated, id say sorry no thank you, id preferr a family memeber to throw it, thanks tho. Oh well im sure it will be very nice tho. Sometimes the worst of a situation turns out to be that you spilt something on ur shirt. This shower could really be something neat and special. Tell us how it turns out!

 

Camilla - January 25

KelyFranz, I'd be tempted to come down with a bout of flu that day!!! Seriously, the whole thing doesn't sound nice at all. I'd be soo peeved off. And to serve food you really can't stomach seems outright rude. I just hope you get some nice gifts for your little one. Maybe your friends will enjoy sending you something for your little one even if they can't throw a party for you? But it's such a pity about the get-together. That's why I'd be especially tempted to be 'ill'. I hope things turn out better for you than expected. Happy pregnancy...

 

L - January 25

Your situation sounds horrible and your mom's friend has really lost sight on why someone throws a shower for someone else. I'm the first person to argue that someone throwing you a shower is an honor and not mandatory, but given your situation and your aunt's desire to throw you one, I would contact your aunt or one of your close friends. I'm sure one of your friends would be thrilled to host a shower for you once they realize they'll be excluded from your other shower.

 

L - January 25

PS: I don't eat pork either. That alone would make me tell my mom's friend, "thanks, but no thanks."

 

Renee - January 25

I would hardly say your selfish. It's more like this woman who is throwing the shower out of obligation and cooking meals that are easy for her and nothing else is the selfish one. Go wtih a 2nd shower with your friends. Think of it as your bonus shower. Once you get through the first one, you know you'll have a really fun one to attend!!!!! Good luck and sorry to hear this is happening!!!

 

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