Compiled List Of Complaints For Laughs

25 Replies
Christi - November 19

I've compiled a list of "pregnancy" complaints. I have to vent somehow... For those of you who have been pregnant... if you know any good solutions...I'd love to know...if you at least understand where I am coming from... it's good to know that I am not alone... sometimes I need a little reasurrance!!! For those of you who have not yet had the joy of being pregnant... take my words and think long and hard... First of all... * I hate when people make the comments "oh... your pregnant...I'm sorry" "Wow... enjoy your freedom now... its over once the baby comes" "Good Luck Sleeping..." "Youre in for a real big surprise..." "Are you crazy???" the comments go on and on... I've heard them all. You know... I cant help it if you've had a horrible kid... and your experiences were not so positive. Why are you going to give negative comments to a pregnant woman. Scare the shit out of me now when its too late... good idea!!! Brainiacs!!! Stress a pregnant woman out.... who came up with that plan. Yeah... your trying to be funny... but I need comfort...not that kind of humor!!! Be happy... and if your not... pretend. * I have learned NEVER tell anyone what your planning on naming the baby until its actually named. People tend to give you looks and express their opinion when honestly it doesnt matter whether they like the name or not. Its a whole lot safer to just let the name be a surprise so no one makes fun of it or discourages you from naming the child what you want to. * NEVER eat a whole bunch of dried beans. * When you THINK you have to pee or might have to pee within the next hour... go. All it takes is that one sneeze or cough... then its all over. * Having 'alone time' is VERY important for everyones happiness. If your in a room full of people... someone is bound to say the wrong thing... it always happens... even if they dont know they've said the wrong thing... * Think before you speak... As everyone around me knows... I dont. I make an ass of myself quite frequently... I have become quick with the tounge and slow with the brain. If you were to ask me if I like your shoes... and I don't... depending on my mood i am liable to tell you the truth... and then go into great details why I feel they are the ugliest things I have ever seen without even remotely thinking twice about it. * There is nothing cute about being pregnant. I burp, fart, poo, and pee all the time. I get massive zits...not small normal zits... but huge Mt. Saint Hellens- I'm about to erupt and squirt the person in front of you kind of zits. The kind you get on your forehead and its so big and heavy you forehead starts to droop... horrible. Constipation and gas pains... only lead to hemmroids and embarrassing moments. * Sleep... ha!!! (Going back to my first complaint)... dont tell me that I am not gonna get any sleep in the future... cause I dont get any right now... and that in return doesnt excite me!!! * I feel like a one legged hippo trying to maneuver. Wobbling sucks!!! * If my s_x drive was anything before like it is now... I would not be pregnant for sure (p__s' are awful). * Burnt cookies are not the end of the world. It happens. Sometimes you forget about them, ya know? No reason to cry and take it personal. Arguing over how bad you suck at cooking really isnt necessary. * Before freaking out over lost keys... check your purse. * Don't just assume its only gas... I am sure you ladies can add to this... feel free... gotta find some humor somewhere, right???

 

anita - November 19

LOL!!! that is just too funny!

 

erin - November 19

Thank you, that was very funny! Need that sometimes!!

 

me - November 19

I like this posting, thanks. :) The only sh1tty comment someone made to me about my pregnancy so far was like hearing a hundred mean comments: It was a supposed friend who told me I only got pregnant so I could be taken care of! ROFLMAO! Right! The baby's gonna take care of me! What a riot! People are such [email protected] sometimes. I think maybe she should have a baby to get a healthy dose of reality. Needless to say, I don't keep in contact with her anymore.

 

ry - November 19

i love this. i have to add i cant stand when people hear i am not finding out the s_x of the baby. they are not shy to express their opinion on that matter-not that it is any of their f*#@ing business. My "best friend" said the other day in front of me and whole group of people "I feel so young because I am only 26 and not married or knocked up, thank god I am not tied down!!" (Mind you we are the same age) So I said to her, actually I feel pretty young and LUCKY because I am 26 already married and having my first baby. The nerve of some people just kill me!

 

Jodi - November 19

This is great! I'll go ahead and start with my list of complaints. Like the fact that the other day I had the flu and it wasn't morning sickness. I know b/c I wasn't puking, I was sh!tt!ng....There is a difference, that is unless morning sickness comes in sh!t form as well and if It does well that would have been my first experience. Then you've got the ones who say "oh you haven't even gotten the worst of it yet. How far along are you, oh when I was that far along I got the worst morning sickness ever, you'll have it too....not every freaking pregnancy is like you [email protected]!! Have they not heard that every pregnancy is different??!! Then I had a lady tell me that my symptoms are just all in my head...hello, if that's the case, I would exclude myself from having to puke up my stomach b/c believe me that's one of the things I hate doing most! It's nasty and sometimes it hurts especially when you've already puked everything up. OH then there's the ones who act like you are freaking disabled! Hey people I can do things, I know how much I can take and trust me If I can't do it, then I won't...Well I think that's about it for now.

 

bump - November 20

bump

 

kr - November 20

For me the gender thing p__sed me off the most. My MIL actually had the nerve to tell me which she "preferred". Like I could make her preference come true, or like I would even want to! She has a 50/50 chance. What's she gonna do, ignore it if it is born with the non-preferred genitalia?

 

me - November 20

Right on, kr! lol Reading your ladies' experiences... I don't know whether to laugh or shake my head. People can be so d__n ignorant! I swear, the next person who makes a stupid comment at me about pregnancy, I'm gonna growl or roar at them (depending on what the comment is exactly). Do people still try preaching to lions? lol

 

Kris - November 21

Christi, you are hilarious. I laughed so hard I peed. LITERALLY!! Joys of preggo. I have had soooo many experiences of comments throughout my lst pregnancy and now my current. The best was my SIL told me that the name I picked out was horrible. It would be cruel. I told her "well good thing it's me giving birth to this child - not you, therefore i get to make the decision." I am keeping the name. Now alittle bit more out of spite. (hormones, hee)

 

I hear ya - November 21

I get tired of being asked if I am taking prenatals and drinking enough water. Its like no, I am guzzling vodka. Don't people realize I probably have a doctor? And common sense.

 

Cathy - November 21

How about...enjoy this time while you can. Ok, i'm sick, puking, fat, and been on bed rest. I can't it makes me sick, i'm always hungry, can't have s_x and i'm always h__y. and your telling me to enjoy this? Ok, I know it is worth it, if I didn't know that I wouldn't be doing it. Don't tell me how uncomplicated and wonderful your pregnancy was, mine is awful, i hate being pregnant, but i will love my little one once he gets here. Ugh, sorry, but that is my biggest complaint. I can handle the sickness/the fatness/ the hemmroids, etc, but I can't handle these people telling me to enjoy every minute of it.

 

bump - November 21

bumpidy bump

 

Jennifer - November 21

This whole thing cracked me up big time! Thanks for cheering me up, Christi!

 

Jodi - November 21

I forgot to add this one. When my sister was pregnant ( 8months and popping), she was shopping and the cashier said "Are you pregnant?" My sister said "No it's just a really large tumor." Duh! ( by the way she was not actually making fun of people who really have them, she was just simply stating a fact..Do want to upset anyone: )

 

jodi - November 21

(DON'T want to upset anyone..sorry)

 

melissa - November 21

oh wow, i loved reading all this! Aside from the fact that it is truly magical that I have my little baby inside me, being pregnant has entailed for me non-stop constipation, cellulite emerging all over my body where I never had it before, generally feeling c___ppy, and peeing every 10 minutes, sides of tummy feeling stretched out, hearing from my SIL to-be, who is psycho, "wow, you've doubled in size since the last ime i saw you! (a week ago). My mom-in-law said she is just jealous. Oh, and my mother has already started telling me how to raise my child. Oh and I just started snoring! Which I've NEVER done in my life!

 

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