Dad Was Pissed Off At Sonographer

13 Replies
Angie - January 8

I went to take my first big ultrasound on Friday and the sonographer would not let my partner in because of hospital policies. She said after she had taken the measurements of the baby she would then allow my partner to come in so she can show him the baby. i personally felt that this was an injustice and some type of discrimination because the father has as much right to be there as i am, anyway while i was in there with her while she was taking the measurements she told me that she's not 100% possitive of what the baby's s_x is but that if she had to say anything she would say it might be a girl. the baby was in an awkward possition and that the legs were crossed. When it was turn for my partner to come inside I said, i think it might be a girl and he freaked out. He even walked out the room and told the lady he didn't want to see the baby anymore. I Broke i couldn't believe what he had done. I understand that he wanted us to receive the news together but it was not called for him to walk out of the roon the way he did.The baby and I are not to blame for him not being able to be there at the time she told me it might be a girlA he didn't even let me finish telling him what the lady said. what do do ladies think about my problem?

 

TCB - January 8

I think its really screwed up that he wasnt allowed in the room. My DH was with me the whole time. At first i thought you were saying that he was p__sed about the s_x of the baby. I dont think he should be mad at you though for the way the sonographer acted.

 

Drew - January 8

Actually there's lots of places that don't let anyone else in while measurements and such are being taken. Lots of times they don't even let the women who is getting the scan done see the screen till they've had a quick look around just in case there is something wrong. I think that they should have explained their reasoning to you though. I think he'll come around once he get's pa__sed the inital "p__sed off" phase. Congrats on your baby girl! :)

 

Rachel - January 8

Sorry to hear about your bad experience. I am not taking up for the sonographer or anything, but I myself am a sonographer and certain hospitals do have certain, not always fair, policies, that we have to follow. I work in a hospital and we are not allowed to let anyone in the room with the patient for general ultrasounds (like for the gallbladder or kidneys), but for OB ultrasounds we are allowed to let one person in with the patient. I know it doesn't seem fair and it stinks that it has caused this termoil between you and the father. I hope it all works out for you. He really needs to realize you had nothing to do with it and you are just as upset about it as he is and his acting this way is only making things worse. Good luck.

 

to Angie - January 8

It's strange that some places let a significant other come in & some don't. What's the whole philosophy behind it? And it seems a philosophy, since if it were a true hazard wouldn't they prevent ALL significant others in every medical facility from being present the whole time? My boyfriend was allowed in with me, no problem about it whatsoever.

 

Heather L - January 8

I think that you should talk to your husband and tell him that you are sorry about what happened. This will open it up for him to also apologise for his actions. He was obviously upset at being tossed aside and left in the waiting room (probably how it felt) while you got to experience the baby without him. I had my scan in mid-December and I had to stare at the ceiling for about 35 minutes while the tech did all the measureing and stuff. I couldn't see the screen and my dh had to wait in the waiting room. It sucked. I told her we wanted to know the s_x if she could tell. She went to tell me and I said "STOP! You have to go and get him first." So once he was in the room, she turned the screen and showed us everything....and THEN I asked her to tell us what she thought. Hope you guys can get over what happened. He must have felt pretty sensitve about the u/s.

 

Kate - January 9

My hospital doesn't allow anyone in at first - and I don't see the big deal - they can come in in just a minute. It was immature to act like that - and if I were you I think I would have died of embara__s____nt. It wasn't the sonographers fault - as I seriously doubt she made the rule.

 

Kiddolebel - January 9

I go to an actual radilogy clinic out in town for mine and i am so upset they wont let my hubby be in there with me because they wont let us take our 2 yr old well behaved son in there. Everyone else i know is allowed to have their children in there. We dont know many people here where we live so we have to take kyle with us, which I think my son SHOULD get to see the baby. Poor hubby and son dont get to come in till the last 10 minutes either. And i thought the military sonographers were a___l, lol.

 

K - January 9

I would not go anywhere that would not let my husband in for the whole process. I would have insisted that my husband be allowed in, or I would have walked out and found another facility. We've been to RE; OB/Gyn; and a perinatologist for a level II ultrasound because of my age, and not once at any of those places has my husband ever been asked to leave my side during any procedure. If that is the facility's outdated att_tude toward treatment of patients and their feelings in a very important time, I wouldn't want anything to do with them. There are too many good facilities out there that care about their patients to give your money to a place with that att_tude. It is your care and you should have a right to have a say in it. This isn't the 1960's. If people refuse to go to places like that and instead go to and give their money to places which place an emphasis on their patients and not themselves, then the places like you went to will eventually have no choice but to change such ridiculous procedures. I understand why your husband got so emotional, but I'm sorry your husband took it out on you. That wasn't fair of him. It wasn't your fault. That should have been your special time together. If this is the place where you plan to have your baby, you better check in detail now as to what their policies and procedures are while you are in labor because chances are if that is how they act for ultrasounds, you may not have the birth experience you want.

 

Hope - January 9

Wow! Where I go you can bring as many people as you would like in the room at the u/s at 20 wks. With my son my dh and my mom were in there the WHOLE TIME! He doesn't have a right to be mad at you but he does have a right to be mad at the lady or place that did the u/s!

 

mel - January 9

I don't blame your husband for being upset. He shouldn't be upset with you though. most likely he's not mad at you, just a little bitter and jealous. which doesn't make you feel any better, I'm sure. maybe you can help him to turn those feelings towards where they should be rightfully directed, by filing a complaint with the hospitol.

 

Beth - January 9

The sonographer that did this should get a ear full, You should complain to her manager, thats not right . She sounds like she is misrable so she is gonna make everyone else the same.

 

Kate - January 9

Beth, are you freaking kidding me?!?! She's a woman, I bet she hates this as much as anyone else. Employees have rulse they are required to go by, and unless her name was on the d__n building, I doubt she set the rule. Besideds, it's not unheard of, lots of places have that rule. I just can't believe you jumped to "she sounds like she's miserable and gonna make everyone else the same." Gee's you make me feel sorry for the entire working world.

 

angie - January 10

Ladies , thank you very much for the imput that ach and every one of you shared with me. Both my husband and I read all your comments and we can agree with all of you guys to some point. Oh and about me putting in the research on the policies and regulations of my current hospital, not to worry!

 

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