Does Knowing The Sex Help You Bond W Baby

18 Replies
JessC531 - March 7

I have in my kitchen a sealed envelope that says the s_x of our baby. Dh doesn't want to find out, but I am DYING to know. I don't want to ruin the surprise for him either, though. I just feel like I might feel closer to the baby if I knew the s_x. Have you found that? Did you feel closer to or like you bonded more with the baby after finding out?

 

JolieLucker - March 7

yesssss... this is our first baby... and once we both found out it was a her, it makes everything 'real' then picking out her name, looking at only girl things... it really MAKES the bond... tell your DH its worth knowing... ps i just asked my DH if it helped him bond with her, knowing its a her... he shook his head and said "ya totally, it too was surreal before hand"

 

kristina1980 - March 8

Hi, I have different opinion. My dh wants to find out, I don't. this is our first, however his 4th. I am already bounded, and it's really not important for whether it's her or him. today I had my second u/s, seen the baby, the face, the little hand waving at me, and it seemed so great even without knowing the gender.

 

GloriaD - March 8

Oh my gosh, such a good subject. With my first,a boy, I didn't find out because I thought the surprise would be great. The second time around I wanted to know so I could plan. Turns out it was a girl. Now I'm pregnant with my third and I am definitely want to know what it is. I feel I bonded so much with my daughter before she was born that it was so much more real. With my son, he came out and I felt like he was a stranger. it could have been because it was my first but I definitely think the twenty weeks of bonding is just a little easier if you know the s_x. Good luck!

 

Tracy88 - March 8

I definitely feel more bonded to this baby I am carrying for many reasons. I can refer to the baby as she, her, or by name. Not "It" or "this child". I can but little things for her when I am out and about, which are more gender specific, that make me feel like I am doing something special just for her. It has allowed me to plan her room and gear it more toward a girl, rather than gender neutral. When I look at her ultrasound pictures, I envision my little girl, not some non-gender specific child. I knew regardless of what I was having I was going to be happy, but knowing the gender made it more real for me and won't take away from the excitement I will feel the minute she is laid on my stomach. My SIL is also PG and didn't want to find out the gender. She said she didn't want to take away from the excitement and element of surprise the day the baby is born because that would make that day so boring. I beg to differ by a long shot. I pictured my baby coming out of me and I knew that would be exciting enough for one day!

 

Tracy88 - March 8

Second line is supposed to say, "I can BUY her little things"....

 

sahmof3 - March 8

With my oldest I didn't find out the s_x, but I did with my younger two. I wouldn't say I felt less of a bond with my oldest... because he was my first and I was really excited... but it was easier knowing the s_x with the other two and referring to them by their real names after 20 (ish) weeks.

 

Kime - March 8

Yessss i do bond better with my daughter. I can call her by her name know and It's just makes it seem so more real now that i know it's a girl. I can go out and buy her stuff and fix up the room, and for me i am just so happy that i know what im having....

 

DownbutnotOUT - March 8

Not at all for me, this is my 4th pregnancy and I prtty much know its a boy, tehc said 60-70% its a boy. I didnt know my sons or what my daughter was and I dont feel more connected to this baby at all by knowing the s_x I have always fetl such a strong bond with my baby despite knowing. Even with my 1st I didnt really care he was my baby and healthy so I couldnt care either way.

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - March 8

I don't think so, I love my baby SOOO much...me and hubby both aren't going to find out, we would rather it be a suprise. If we found out the s_x before it would only change what we bought and the names we picked...wouldn't make us bond more then we already are with our baby. The s_x in my opinion don't change how you bond with your child...its just your child the one that helps you to bond all in all.

 

squished - March 8

I cannot believe that you have the answer in your KITCHEN!!!! We don't want to find out either but I'd have to burn the envelope to stop being tempted to peek. BURN IT....BURN IT....LOL!!!

 

soimpatient - March 9

I always loved this little baby but after I found out the gender I felt WAY more attached to it. So, to answer your question...YES knowing the s_x definitely helped me bond with the baby. P.S. Its a girl!!!

 

MNMOM - March 9

I didn't find out with my first son but I found out with this pregnancy (another boy) I don't feel any more "bonded" this time than last time, but I think that is just me and everyone is different. I know lots of moms who have said they didn't really begin bonding until baby arrived.

 

JessC531 - March 10

Thanks for your opinions everyone! Dh and I had a long talk tonight, and I explained to him that I felt I might bond more with the baby if we knew the s_x. After I explained my feelings, he agreed that we should open the envelope... SOo.... WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!!! I am so excited. I just can't believe it! I feel so much better already... :)

 

Terio - March 10

Aww, congratulations JessC.. a little girl. I'm very happy for you! :-)

 

squished - March 10

Congratulations Jess! Let the shopping begin!

 

Martha2007 - March 11

hi MNMOM, they wrote the s_x of the baby in the envelope? at what week did you have ultrasound? Not sure if my doctor will mention the s_x in the envelope?

 

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