Enjoying Pregnancy Alone

6 Replies
Lindsay - November 13

At this point in time I'm 22 weeks pregnant with a girl and probably going to have a private adoption with my boyfriend's cousin and wife, who cannot have children and have had terrible luck with adopting this far. I haven't told them just yet bc I'm 22 weeks and very shakey on what I'm going to feel like when I'm 40 weeks, I don't want to lure them on and then hurt them so I'm waiting til much closer to the date. After I told my family the adoption plans (who are all mad at me bc they think I should keep her) and my boyfriend is now preparing himself to give her up and not keep her, I'm the only one who still finds any wonder in the little person in me. No one talks to my belly or wants to feel her kick, they are totally uninterested in her hiccup attacks and how much she's growing - a complete turn around from when they assumed I was going to keep her. I know I know..they are trying to avoid getting attached, but I CANT, I feel these things no matter what, and I wouldn't want to stay detached like them even if I could, she's still going to be born, she'll always be my birthdaughter, shouldn't she be recognized and appreciated even if it might hurt us a little more? I still find it neat what is happening, this is my first. I feel like me and the baby are being completely neglected, and no one is happy she's alive, they are just waiting for this to be over. I don't know, it just makes for a lonely pregnancy for me, I'm the only one that's celebrating her new life. Thats why I'm a forum junky, only other preggos can appreciate with me, yay for you guys!

 

anita - November 13

ohh...i'm sorry. but i kind of know how you feel. i just moved from my home state a few months before i got preggy and i really don't know anyone here. all my family & friends are back home so even though they're interested, i still feel alone. all i want to talk about is my pregnancy, but noone seems to care. it really sucks. i think you should respect your family's attempts to not get to attached. it sounds like they're just trying to support your decision and if they get to attached, they might be tempted to try and change your mind or not respect your decision. when is your due date? mine is mar.17 and i'm also having a girl. i'd be glad to chat and compare pregnancys.

 

Christi - November 13

Hi ladies. I'm 22-23 weeks preggo and due March 15th. I am having a little girl. I am 19 years old and I live with my boyfriend... he's 27. We've been together for about 2 years now. Everyone is very excited, including myself. I am planning on keeping the baby... I dont think I could handle giving her up... but I have respect for anyone who does. Although there are so many people happy around me... I still feel very lonely because there are so many joys and fears and feelings that only I am experiencing right now that no one else is, and there is no way to describe it unless your preggo... I'd love to keep in contact with you ladies!!! Hope all goes well.

 

Lindsay - November 13

Lol wow I'm due on March 15 too and having a girl, three little girls all due around the same time, how cool! I wish my family was trying to not get attached altogether, but I get the worst of both worlds. They constantly try to tell me I'm making a bad decision and I'll regret it and what I'm doing is morally wrong, but then I can't even enjoy little preggo milestones with them because they pull away. I wish it could be one way or the other. Sucks, but doesn't deter me from my plan, I know its best for baby girl and my boyfriend and me too. Oh well, guess I could have it much worse, just sucks having to go through all the scary times and pain and hormone fluctuations with nothing happy to lift me up about any of it. I love this forum though, its so nice to be able to talk to other preggo women (my friends who have had babies are acting a little psycho right now also bc of the adoption) It seems to me everyone who has kept their baby is taking the adoption as a personal insult, although I commend them for keeping theirs. It's just not the best in my particular situation. Congrats on your baby girls!

 

Lisa - November 13

Hi Lindsay! I'm just starting my 24th week and I am having a little girl who will make her way into the world on March 07th (I hope). I am happily married and I am keeping my baby. I think what you are doing is the ultimate in self sacrifice and you are to be commended for this, not bashed. Having a baby growing inside you is such a wonderful thing, to feel every kick and punch, to see your belly move as she moves inside you. The only thing better I think is to hold her in your arms. Your family is really hurt on your decision and you are right, they don't want to get attached so they are keeping you at arms length. They should consider more your feelings. You are the one going through this pregnancy. You are going to be experiencing everything except actual motherhood and they should start to think about you and afterwards, and not themselves. I wish you all the best Lindsay and know my heart goes out to you, I think the pain you're feeling is pretty bad and I feel for you. You're a wonderful person to be doing such a thing, and if you do change your mind after the birth don't feel guilty about that. This is your child and only you can make the right decision for the both of you.

 

Nicole - November 13

I am also due march 15 and having a little girl. Kinda crazy if you ask me but any way i would like to congradulate you on the decsion that you know your not ready to have a baby (or your not sure and you instead of aborting the baby are willing to give the baby the life it deserves and are willing to help a family out that cant have kids you have my highest respect i kinda know how you are feeling my hubby is excited yes but i am living 8 hours from my friends and family so no one back home really gets to experience the joy with me other then hubby any way congrats and best of luck to both you and your little one every thing will work itself out in the end as long as you believe it will

 

Christi - November 14

Hi ladies... How are you all doing??? I am off work today... its kinda nice, except I get so bored. I have nothing to do on my day off...lol. Lindsay... just like the other ladies said I think what you are choosing to do is the greatest gift to another woman who may not be able to have children... and also a great gift to your baby... I respect the fact that you realize that you may not be ready.... I commend the fact that you want your baby to have a good life. Its nice to meet some people having babies around the same time as I (March 15th).... and wow at all the little girls!!!! Anyone started buying things??? Is everyone showing??? I'm curious... anyone else swelling??? I dont know anyone else to really compare pregnancies with... Anyway, you all take care!!! Keep them babies healthy!!!

 

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