Finally Getting Excited After Miscarriage

14 Replies
Happy:) - December 3

Hi ladies, I am expecting my second child, I miscarried in july so I haven't let myself get excited really for fear of something going wrong. But, I feel like "I MADE IT!" ANd now I am starting to get comfortable with carrying this baby to term. I actually cried the other day because I heard the heart beat, I was so relieved to know that it was alive in there. Miscarriages are nerve racking to pregnancies, anyone feel this way too??

 

rk - December 3

Hi I felt the same way!! I had a m/c Jan last year and got preg again in June. I was so nervous about the same thing happening! I'm 26 weeks and everything's fine so far. How far along are you?

 

Cabbie - December 3

I am pregnant again after three miscarriages in the last year and half. I feel the very same way. I'm still having a tough time letting my guard down but I'm getting there. We've seen the heartbeat three times now!

 

Natalie - December 3

i know how you feel. i had a miscarriage in november 2004, and i was so petrifyed of miscarrying again. im no 28 weeks tomorrow and i still check myself for blood or signs of problems and panic alot. its good that your getting excited though. i still havent let myself because of being so nervous that something bad will happen. i am so worried about birth, and premature birth and cot death. maybe im just a bit too worried for me own good!

 

Happy :) - December 3

Hi ladies, I will be 14 weeks on monday. Ihad my miscarriage at 12 weeks-everyone told me that was the "safe point" and then I mc'd. I had a lot of stress that week, my first got real sick in the hospital and I started spotting that day. I thought that my son was going to die-my doc said that there was no real way of telling. To Cabbie-congrats to you! Three mc's? I couldn't imagine that, Ihope all goes well. I feel relaxed kind of, like I am starting to look forward to findinf out what it is and buy things-(between me and you guys-I really want a girl) With my son, I knew it was a boy-with this I think it is a girl but I don't know if it is just me hoping. :) Do you all know what you're having.

 

Happy :) - December 3

Natalie-I know about the checking for blood. When I was at my in laws I went to the bathroom and when I wiped there was red on the paper and I almost panicked-but then I focused and there was red and green christmas design on it and I sat there and laughed. Funny huh?

 

Monique - December 3

I had a m/c in May and now I'm 18 weeks. I checked for blood probably for the first 12 weeks, I was relived literally EVERY SINGLE time I went to the bathroom. rk and Natalie, thanks for posting 26 & 28 weeks!! I just got another wave of hope!! Good Luck everyone!!!!!

 

Shawna - December 4

I completely understand the feelings of those who have posted here. A miscarriage changes your outlook on pregnancy forever! It seems that when my husband and I admit our fears for the current pregnancy, others downplay them as paranoid thoughts. To those who flippantly reply to me "Don't worry!" I have to remind myself that they have never been there... they don't know how quickly you can love a child within and how truly terrible it is to lose a pregnancy in a world which seems to consider the loss of an unborn baby to be simply an unrealized potential and not the death of a completely unique and unrepeatable individual. At least that is the way many others have responded to my own losses and my fears for this pregnancy. I have had two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy, with no live births and almost 7 years of trying for a child. After such heartbreak, it is difficult to be optimistic about another pregnancy. Now that we are at 23 weeks, I am beginning to relax somewhat. I still consider every day a blessing, and each milestone is met with a sigh of relief and a prayer of thanksgiving. Getting past the weeks in which I lost the others, seeing a flickering heart at the first sonogram, hearing the precious thriving heartbeat, seeing our little girl moving about in later ultrasounds, seeing my growing belly, and feeling her movements within have all been wonderful rea__surances that she is alive and well. Yet still I fear to lose her... I don't think that will ever go away. From the trepidation we have all felt in looking at the toilet tissue and fearing the sight of blood, to the moment of birth when we wonder, "What might go wrong?" I think we all have a changed perspective for a pregnancy if we have experienced a loss. Thankfully, though, as I have progressed, that abiding fear has lessened to a degree, and I have finally "allowed" myself to imagine a future with this child. So yes, I do agree, miscarriages can be very nerve-wracking to a subsequent pregnancy... in a way that many who have not experienced such a thing will never know. To all who post here, my condolences for your past losses, and many congratulations for the current pregnancies that are progressing!

 

Kelli - December 4

Shawna--that was the most well-worded statement of how miscarriage can feel that I have ever read. I miscarried at 14 weeks in November of 2004 and now am 13 weeks with this pregnancy--and I too check the toilet paper every time I go to the bathroom or when feeling slightly wet while shopping at the grocery store i hurry to the bathroom to wipe. I often feel that I lost my second child---a very unique and unrepeatable individual--and often wonder why that is. I am sorry for your loss and wish you the best--as I do for all of us up here. I do have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter to be VERY thankful for--she is the light of my life.

 

Julia - December 5

I totally know how you feel. Having lost a baby changes how you feel in pregnancy. The constant fear that something might go wrong. People who haven't been through it don't understand how hard the loss is, and how much stress it causes afterwards. Happy I cried too when I heard this baby's hb at 10 weeks. Up until that point I really had no idea what was going on inside of me. I know nothing is certain, but I feel a lot better getting to this point (15 wks) without incident this time. I HAVE also stopped checking for blood every time I go to the toilet. That's awful! Hang in there.

 

Happy :) - December 5

I am so glad to hear of all these stories ladies, it nice to have people like you girls to understand what I am feeling. None of my female friends have had a m/c and often have no words to say about it. Kelli-I know what you mean by "feeling" that you lost your second child. In my mind it is the same way. Even when people ask how many this makes I say this is my third pregnancy and we lost our second. I know that may seem strange but that is how I feel. Even though technically this is my second, in my heart it will be my third. That is kind of my rememberence for it.

 

Natalie - December 5

christmas design!!! lol, i always find that theres the tinest spot of red, and most of the time its a fibre of the toilet roll! but it just scares ya i know! i guarentee you will never stop checking the paper, you really wont. its completely natural. but try to get a bit excited. :)

 

Melanie - December 5

Yep, you get a little gun shy after miscarrying. I m/c twice, but now I'm at 23wks and things look great. Whew! It is nice to get to the stage where the ratio of worry to excitement is getting more on the positive side of things!

 

Jen - December 6

I agree! I also think we've been cheated out of a blissful pregnancy b/c of our experiences! I try to celebrate everyday I'm pregnant. (now 18 weeks) Congratulations Mommies!

 

to Happy - December 6

I know how you feel, I lost my to be second child in late May, I am now almost 24wks preg. and I feel the same. I find now though that I am feeling braxton hicks again *been over 6yrs since my first was born* I find my anxiety is up again.. Probably from my last misscarriage.. Because I'm more then half way there. it's just now I feel her, and see her, and I just want to make it to at least the 37week mark. How far along are you? I was very happy and teary eyed when I first heard this baby's heartbeat. and saw my ultrasound at 20wks

 

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