How To Help The Guy Understand

9 Replies
anisha - October 14

Sometimes my mood swings can really make a mess of things. But when i try to explain to b/f what i am going through he thinks am being selfish and that I need things my way all the time. It really isn't that. I just know what I need to make me comfortable and happy so I try to create that environment even on the evenings after work when I am really tired and just want to sleep. Is there any leaflet available that I can give him to read so he can understand the changes am faced with and why everything more or less enters around me? I suggestions or ideas? Cuz talking sometimes seems to go in one ear and come out the next.

 

jennifer_33106 - October 15

You know I made my husband read this book called "Pregnancy Sucks for men" and it gives a detailed month by month play of what you and the baby are going through. It tells them what to expect during and after pregnancy and it adds humor to keep them interested. It worked with Shon and now he knows I am not trying to be an a__s. haha It is a really good book....

 

evae777 - October 15

it stinks when they are not understanding at a time like this. my partner likes to take stabs at my sensivity, say sorry, then resent me because he didnt feel like he won an argument over something trivial. i am slow at moving around these days and i still pamper him and treat him like a king and still expected to be completely selfless. its unfair....... hopefully that book will help. i am actually so tired of repeating myself and not being heard that i am just going to stop trying. hope things got better for you and your b/f :)

 

tynadu - October 15

I'm not sure your b/f was ready for a baby if he didn't realize what would be going on in your body. My DH knew what is was from the jump and on my days he just let me be. I would not repeat myself if I were you just do what you want. evae - You pamper him? Oh H*ll no! You are the one making the baby, and he is the man. Well he should be.

 

evae777 - October 15

tynadu, no kidding! i should be getting pampered. that's why i realize lately what a brat this man is. but the thing is.. he works and i don't. i have some money saved that i am using to help him with groceries and utility bills, but that'sa bout it. he works long days so when he comes home it is past dinner time & i know he is tired so try to show him i appreciate him by making dinner and (i'm embarra__sed to say it) give him ma__sages. i only get ma__sages when i ask for it and usually it is a lame on. believe me, i used to have boyfriends that treated me like a princess, but there are good qualities about him that stuck enough to where i married him. i.e he's really kind, good values, wants me to be a stay home mom, good with money.. and ton of stuff. but the pampering and the arguing every point has become really pathetic. now i know what the downfall is to being married, there are certain things you have to live with, not all is perfect and hopefully we marry the ones whose character flaws are bearable through our old age! grrrrr. i am really hopeless these days and tired that he can't budge an inch for someone that treats him so well.

 

evae777 - October 15

oh and i am going to stop giving him all of those ma__sages everyday. what do you think about that? see who is missing out then... hehe

 

anisha - October 15

Thanks guys. I'll have to try and get that book. But thing is he studies and his work is soo demanding that he hardly has time to really read his text books. I hope he realizes the importance of needing to understand through this time enough to actually read this one suggested to me. I could probably fish around and see if i can something that is glimpse at on the go so as not to distract or bore him too much. And I agree with the pampering part so so so much. All the attention has to be on ME now. I get home before he does and well I do the cooking. He leaves home before me in the morning and he expects me to get up iron his clothes, back his breakfast and lunch too. To tell you the truth I just lie there in bed and say I'm feeling well or pretend to be in deep sleep and let him suffer the consequences of reaching to work late. Not that I really want that or anything but it help him to be more independent and organise himself and stop harrra__ssing me.

 

anisha - October 15

I like the do what I want part tynadu, sometimes i do that and he ends up in a mess then i might feel sorry for him. But that was until recently when i just don't give a darm anymore

 

evae777 - October 16

anisha you pack his lunches too and iron his clothes. jeeesshhh... you are a good woman. i do the same for mine, i even pack his luggage for him before he goes to Hawaii for business. i swear,they turn into brats... we have to not let them get too used to the good life so they can actually have some grat_tude! who is wearing the pants now!! hehe

 

evae777 - October 16

for instance, tonight.. i did not pack his luggage (he leaves tomorrow morning for Hawaii), i didn't even make dinner! usually i feel guilty and do it anyways, but screw it... i took myself to dinner and went and watched a movie at the theatre. sometimes we just have to know how to make ourselves happy before we tend to others. it feels great too, i am in a much better place :D

 

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