I Just Need To Vent

14 Replies
dueinparil2007 - January 12

My boyfriend ( we are getting married in Februaury) is in the Army. We knew that he was going to be delpoyed to Iraq at the end of May and I am due April 22nd. Well he comes home yesterday and tells me that now they are leaving in March. I know there is nothing that he or I can do but I am just so p___sed and so sad about the whole thing. We figured that he would be here to see his son born and atleast have a few weeks with him before he left. Not only that he was suppose to be gone for 12 months and now they are teling him to plan on 18 months. Our son will be damn near 2 before he get's to see him!!!! I cried so hard last night to the point where I was shaking and and felt like I couldn't breathe all he could do was hold me and tell me that he is sorry and I know that it's not his fault. I don't want to go through labor alone my cousin will be in the room with me but it's not the same as having my boyfriend in the room. I am stressed out like you wouldn't beleive. I just wanted him to meet his son before he had to leave and now it's not going to happen all he'll have is pictures that I send and e-mail him until he comes home and is able to see him.

 

sarahd - January 12

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. Just know that others are thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts for this rough time.

 

kashni - January 12

I'm so sorry dueinApril, that must be really sad. Is there anything at all he can do about it ? Specially since you are pregnant, can he request to be deployed a little later... In any case, u can do it...I'm sure you will miss him like crazy, but u'll get through it...please be strong.

 

suze42 - January 12

I feel so badly for you! You have every right to feel this way...it just plain sucks! Are they any support groups for deployed wives/moms??? Unfortunately, Im sure there are and have been others that have faced this, it could be really helpful to lean on them. Just take it day by day right now, dont stress yourself out thinking to far ahead. Who knows...maybe it will all end sooner and he wont even have to be there so long! Hugs!

 

dueinparil2007 - January 12

Thanks you guy's for your support. I don't know if they will let him stay longer since I am pregnant I will have to ask him to check and see, I doubt it though i'm still not to good at figuring out how the Army operates and what kind of things he can stay for if he even can...I know he told me that when I had the baby I can contact the Red Cross and they can get the message to him, but i'd much rather him be there and witness the birth instaed of some random person telling him his son was born and how much he weighed etc...he feels so bad and it's hard for both of us but like I said before it's not his fault and I don't want him to feel bad for what he HAS to do. We said we were going to spend all the time we could together until he leaves and he is going to help and be at the baby shower. I guess i'm just disappointed and I thought that we had more time. I'll get through it and I pray that he is okay while he is gone and comes back ome to me safely just so many things run through my mind about him going over there and his safety.

 

lily10 - January 12

I am so sorry you have been put in this situation. It is just so unfair to all 3 of you and I can only imagine how upsetting and heartbreaking this is. You will get through this, somehow you will find a way. (((((HUGS)))))

 

jendean00 - January 12

Aww, I hate that for you. Maybe things will work out for him to be home for the birth or hopefully before your baby is two. Best of luck. I will say a litlle prayer for ya'll.

 

c_baer19 - January 12

It is very unfair, but it is part of the military life. I'm a military wife, and thankfully my husband hasn't been deployed yet and won't be at least until after the baby is born, but I couldn't imagine him not being there for the birth. There are support groups for deployed wives and girlfriends if you look around, they can probably help you out a lot since they know what you're going through. It will be difficult, but you'll make it through. I doubt that they will extend the time before he's deployed just because you are pregnant, they don't really consider that a situation with enough gravity that he would have to stay home. Luckily, it isn't that bad over there anymore, and they have the internet and most of the guys over there are able to get on nearly every day or call home all the time to talk to their wives. Hope this helps. =)

 

c_baer19 - January 12

Oh also, they usually give deployed Army men something called R&R, it's a little break to fly home for a week/weekend when they are deployed for a long time, so find out if he will get that.

 

dueinparil2007 - January 12

He did tell me that after 6 months he was probably going to be able to come home for a week or so. I hope so.

 

ConnorsMommy - January 12

This reminds me of a time when I was a server at Red Lobster (a few years ago) and this family came in (a mom, dad, and an 18 month old) and they were sat in my section. I went to their table and asked how they were doing and the dad said, "I'm GREAT! I just got home today and for the first time, I got to meet my son! When I left, my wife was only 6 mos. pregnant." My heart just melted for him. I started to tear up because I could just see how happy he was! But I really didn't have a clue what it could REALLY be like (I didn't have my kids yet). After reading your post, it made me cry because I couldn't imagine going into labor and having my son without my husband there.. let alone having to raise him for the first 2 years alone. I'll pray for you dueinapril.. I hope your fiance gets to stay, at least long enough to meet his baby. Good Luck to the both of you.. or, I should say the three of you =)

 

babyonboard16 - January 15

I am so sorry that must be horrible, has he tried asking them for a later deployment date? I wish you and your husband the best of luck.

 

laurenl - January 16

I have sat here with tears in my eyes. How sad! I can not imagine how you feel. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. It just does not seem fair. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

dueinparil2007 - January 16

Thank you everybody!!! It feels to good to know that people are there for me. he find out within the next 2 weeks the exact date that he will be leaving. I know it'll be hard but I will get through it and be okay. Once again I want to thank everyone for their thoughts.

 

shog - January 19

Oh my heart also cries for your sake! I hate it when my husband is not with me and I would be so angry if he was not there for the labour. I wouldn't have been able to handle it as well as you do. I would have blamed him - you know looking for a scapegoat closer to me even though I know it's not his fault! All the best for you!

 

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