I Really Need To Vent-pg117380977553

6 Replies
JulieK - March 13

Hi all. I am sorry this is going to be so negative I just really need to vent. My son, now 17 months old, started daycare in November when I returned to work. He has been sick since the 3rd day, so that is what 5 months now? He caught a cold there and has not been healthy since. We have probably been to the doctor at least once a week since then, he has been on 5 different antibiotics, and now they are thinking that it is pneumonia, so he is on puffers (second round for these too by the way) and another antibiotic. He just can't seem to shake it. He is on iron supplements to try to boost his immunities, he gets plenty of rest, I just don't know what else to do for him. He has had 2 chest x-rays which aren't showing anything. He has missed I don't know how many weeks of daycare now, which we still have to pay for. I am under contract in my job, and I know they are considering dumping me, not because of the quality of my work but because of the time I have missed to be with my son. My husband switched jobs so that he could spend more time at home to help out, and then he got the flu! So he is down for the count now too. I am at a loss. We have tried relying on family to help out, and to be honest they have been very generous with their time, but my mother anyway is being just as generous with unwanted advice. Its like she now starting to think that she has some sort of say in his upbringing I guess since she has spent so much time with him lately. Telling me all of these natural remedies I "should" be trying on him, or that I am not keeping the house clean enough and that's why he is sick. Well excuse me for spending my time at home tending to my ill child and husband rather than sweeping the front hall! As though I am not already feeling helpless enough, I need her to start blaming me! I love my son, and I am trying to do all I can for him. She has even begun cutting articles out of the paper on child rearing and leaving them at my house for me to read. It is really insulting. My doctor, my husband, and I are all working to try to get him well, and her stressing me out is not helping! She and I don't share the same views on health care, and I accept that. She is a believer in alternative methods, I prefer conventional medicine, but I don't try to shove my beliefs down her throat so why can't she offer me the same respect? My husband won't answer the phone right in case its her 'cause he's afraid of what he will say to her. I am 16 weeks pregnant too, and have had three colds myself within that time, no wonder 'cause I'm so run down. I just need a break. Thanks for listening.

 

AshleyandAverysmom - March 13

The problem with your son could be the Daycare..lots of kids get sick in daycare, but it could also be your home! I just read an article where this womens entire family kept getting sick with flu like symptoms, she would also tire easily and get headaches...you could have mold in your house thats making you sick, I think you can get mold tests at Home depot or you can order them on line.... Or this could just be a bad case of everyone just getting sick...Hope your day gets better!

 

JessC531 - March 13

Julie, don't listen to your mother - or anyone - who tells you it's your fault! I'm sure you are doing your best, and a dirty house isn't going to make your son sick like this anyway. I'm so sorry you're going through this - especially while you're pregnant again. You must be so stressed! Wait until dh and ds are sleeping, and take a nice, relaxing bath. You definitely need some rest yourself! Good luck!

 

kimberly - March 14

Does the daycare he goes to make a point for the kids to wash thier hands and do they use anti bacterial sprays on the toys and other stuff the kids handle? I ask b/c this can be very important, when I started sending my son he was also sick all the time. I switched to another daycare and asked what thier precautions were and this is how they did things, he rarely got sick after that. Also, I think mold is something to consider too, I work at my parents heating & air business and we do regular checks for people in thier homes to inspect for mold. Thier are ultra violet lights you can have installed in your ventilation system that will eliminate any mold you have. Although I do understand it could be caused from something totally different, just trying to think of an easy solution for you and your family. I am also 16 weeks pregnant and I don't know how I would survive a sick child all the time. They are way more needed when sick. I hope he feels better soon.

 

lawlady72 - March 15

Oh my gosh are you my husbands sister?????? LOL his mom is JUST LIKE THAT!!!! Articles, vitamins and herbs over medical intervention, no bare feet in the house you can get a fungus, don't scold her she's just a child (coming from the woman who took an electrical cord to her disorderly son)!!!! Ugh, I've learned that the best thing for me is to just "yes, yes, yes" and then do what I was going to do anyway. Fortunately my MIL is the spoil em and leave em type, she's sees my dd maybe 2x a month for like 1.5 hrs and then has had enough (yet she's full of wisdom, she didn't even raise her own kid, her mother did). Yikes, I feel for you baby!!!!

 

lawlady72 - March 15

btw Kimberly, just FYI my DD was hospitalized w/flu + bronchitis + pneumonia for 5 days in an oxygen tank after starting daycare. Sorry but I have to say this IT IS THE PARENTS FAULT! They know their kids are sick and they send them anyway. I understand the concept of I can't miss another day at work because I work full time, but you know what, you chose to be a parent and that means being responsible for your child. I took a year off and almost lost my house when my dd was sick, but what was I going to do? She's my kid, I love her and WANT to be the one to be there for her whebn she's scared and sick. Daycare facilities can only do so much to sterlilize the environment, children are little petri dishes and when parents don't have sense enough to keep their kids home when they know they are sick that is the major factor. Kids play, the pa__s a ball, they hold hands and little ones are forever putting stuff in their mouths. You can't follow every child around with a bottle and spray everything they touch every moment of the day.

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - March 15

I say you put your sons need first, as hard as it sounds it seems as though all you can do is take him out of daycare and wait until he gets better, he may not be getting better because the day he is OK enough to go to daycare he gets everything back and never allows time for him to be fully well...it is hard for you I know and being pregnant doesn't help. But at this point he is way more miserable then you are and that needs to be taken into great consideration. If your job can't understand that then I don't know what to say. But he needs to be home for a good while just to stay well and get back on his feet. In some cases that is about the only thing you can do at this point. If he keeps going back I can guarantee that you won't see any signs of improvement. I'm sorry I'm not much help at this and pretty much telling you to devote you time to him as much as you can that is about all I can really tell you though. He needs you at this point and he really needs a steady and stable place right now. The moment he is out for good the better he will get, I'm not saying overnight he will be OK, but it may just take months before he is better, and the health of my child (easy for me to say because I will be a stay at home mom) is more important then a job. I gave up on my career so that when I am about to have my baby I can be there all the time...and as lawlady72 said I would blame myself and take full responsibility if anything more serious was to happen to my baby.

 

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