Mother In Law Help

12 Replies
wv_red - December 11

Okay ladies I know there is a topic about people touching your belly and this is alot like it but a lil different. I am 16 weeks now and ever since I have became pregnant my m-i-l has not stopped asking me when can she feel the baby kick. I am not the type of person who likes to be touched by anyone except my husband. She asked my husband last night agin if he has been able to feel it kick yet and asked him if it was okay if she touches my belly. HIM not me!!! he told her she needs to ask me about it. Now she has helped us out since we have moved here and my husband is defiently still a mommas boy and I dont want her mad at me or my husband mad at me either but how do I tell her in the nicest possible way that I dont like being touched. Oh this is her first grandchild and she is overly excited. Please ladies any help you can give me on this subject will help alot. I am in a bind and dont know what to do. Thank you ahead of time!

 

HeatherIsHopeful - December 11

aww, thats a tough one... mothers do love babies lol.. Im lucky and live in a completely diffrent stat then all of my DHs family.. I love them dearly but that would drive me bonkers. honestly theres no way to be nice about it.. sit her down and talk to her about how you dont like to be touched and see if you can compromise with her... when you do feel the baby kick, to the point where others can feel it too, have her feel it once and say "now thats all... you felt it thats it play with the baby when (s)he gets here." she'll want to touch you all the time if you arent firm with her let her know once is all.. that way she still gets to feel i and you dont have to be touched all the time. I hope that helps :)

 

denimbluez - December 12

lol i feel your pain....i would just die if my mil did that to me but she has not been a help to me at all. she only comes around when she wants something, yet my husbands brother who has two kids she is there all the time. i am affraid that once i have this baby it will be the same with me...but that's another post. i think the only thing you can do is just tell her...tell her when the baby kicks you will let her know. its not your fault you have a "thing" about being touched i totally understand!! and she needs to also. but the other poster said it....you NEED to just tell her :o)

 

JoJo123 - December 12

LMAO- rub hers back after she touches yours (sorry, couldn't resist). I read in another forum that someone had ordered a shirt that read "I'll let you know when I want my belly touched". See if you can find something like that to wear aroudn her, at least it's something to get the conversation started. Or next time, say I'm sorry but I'm weirded out with people touching me.

 

sarah21 - December 12

I guess I just don't mind my belly being touched at all. I think it's cool when other people can feel the baby kick. But if someone wanted to feel it and it made me uncomfortable I'd just have to be honest and tell them. I would tell your MIL that you understand that she probably misses feeling baby kicks but that you're not comfortable having her touch your belly. Soon enough she'll be able to watch it and that will just have to be good enough. Good luck!

 

another Karen - December 13

I think I'd just let her feel it but I'm not sensitive about that sort of thing. It's not you but your baby she wants to feel. My MIL is picking up keys for her own rental house tomorrow after 4 years of living with us, helping her out. Believe me I could start a list of things that has peeved me off about her and possibly add to it every day of my life. Trust me, let her have her grope and be thankful that that's all she expects of you. Sorry I don't mean to sound heartless but they, MIL's aren't worth the agony. Now if she wants to be there at the birth I can suggest list of approporiate responses.

 

HeatherIsHopeful - December 13

lol Karen!! that made me giggle... Im so thankful my in laws live very far away from us :)

 

ma1008 - December 13

Heather you'e lucky, i wish mine lived farther away. i think its gonna be christmas with them at our house this year, (sigh)

 

ChattyKathy - December 13

I'm the same way! I always felt SO awkward when people would come up and touch my belly or people do the saying hi to me while looking at my belly and THEN looking at me. You never really get used to it, but I guess the best way is to tell her nicely that you'll let her know when she can feel the baby, but not yet! Hopefully she'll get the hint. Its really not polite to invade people's space like that! But you know how excited people get. The polite person in me just bit my lip whenever someone touched the belly.

 

NewMommyinMay - December 13

OMG I can TOTALLY relate! My mother-in-law is the same way. I told her she could not touch my belly unless she first asked permission (and even then, if I'm not in the mood I might say NO) but she still just goes for it- and everyone else in the family yells at her saying YOU DID NOT ASK PERMISSION!! I guess I've just learned to deal with it, but at the same time I still remind her that I am not a touchy feely kind of person who likes this kind of thing. She tries to stop it, but it's almost like a reflex with her sometimes!!! I say just to be as honest as possible. You can do it in a nice way by saying something like "Please don't take this personally, but I am just not comfortable having people touch my belly. I appreciate your support and excitment about your grandchild, but I ask that you please respect my wishes". GOOD LUCK! :)

 

HeatherIsHopeful - December 13

Ma that sucks.. DH and I are going to my dads house for christmas so NO IN LAWS. I love my husbands family but Im glad to see mine finally. wv_red I hope you worked something out with your mother in law...

 

wv_red - December 14

Loved all the responces, thank you! I still havent told my m-i-l anything yet I still dont know how to really approach it. I am stuck at her house all day Christmas eve and day, dreading that big time. Thank goodness my sister in law will be there. I kindof want to get past the holidays then tell her cause she will cry the whole time. I am defiently going to talk to her hopefully with out the tears. I thought I was suppose to be the emotional one not everyone else around me! lol. Thanks again

 

xvkx - December 15

Just explain to her that you would prefer not to be touched and that she can touch the baby all she once once it's no longer a part of your body, hehe. It's good your husband is backing you up. I have an overly stimulated mother in law too... you just kind of have to grin and bear it and remember that she's been pregnant before, too, so she's more likely to understand than you think she is. Just make sure to be polite about it and you should be ok. :)

 

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