My Baby Shower And Registry

16 Replies
Cad0587 - February 27

First of all, I don't even want to have a shower. Yes, ladies, you heard me. See the thing is I'm not close with my family... not close meaning they don't even know I'm married, don't even know I'm pregnant. And that's a story in itself but just take my word for it, it's for the best. Anyway, I just moved recently to live with my fiance now husband and I lost touch with a lot of my friends, just... things changed and I only have 2 really good friends left. So I'm so uncomfortable having a shower because even though people from my husbands side of the family can come he doesn't have a big family so I'm just going to feel embarassed... and silly having a shower. So then comes my baby registry, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law talk more about my registry then I even think about it but the other day we were talking about it and my sister-in-law who has an almost 1year old was talking about things that she registered for and that I should blah blah blah but I was like WHOOOOA. Waaaaait just one minute. She was naming things that were expensive, like strollers, swings, bouncers, car seats and I'm like whaaat. Nononononono! I just can't imagine registering for all these expensive things and expect people to buy them for me, that'd make me so uncomfortable! I figured me and my husband would buy the big expensive things and my registry would be the little things haha anyone else feel this way?


lily10 - February 27

Cad, I felt the same way but the thing is that you just put it on the registry and if people choose to purchase you a stroller then at least you'll get the one that you want. That goes for all the big stuff like car seats, swings, jumpers etc. go ahead and put the ones you pick on your registry. People know that you don't expect to receive all that stuff but you'll be surprised at the amount of stuff that you get and you'll be glad that its the one you want and most likely researched. Don't feel uncomfortable.


Amanda18 - February 27

lol I'm going through the exact same thing. I do NOT want a shower and I do NOT want (and will not) register for the expensive stuff. Me and dh are very private and shy people and don't like attention put onto us which will make it so uncomfortable. So what I'm going to do (only cause my mom and aunt will be so disappointed if we don't have one) is register for small stuff, sheets, the bouncer, monitor, anything that's under $40. And since I'm not due until the end of July we're going to have it the middle of June at my grandmothers who has a big yard, a big pool, and a nice bbq set up. We're only going to invite close family (and the god parents), and then they'll all be occupied with eating food, swimming, playing horseshoes, drinking etc that they wont pay any mind to us lol. It sounds mean but that's how it is. The only problem I cant get around is opening the presents which always makes me uncomfortable because my family gets so excited and jumps around and I don't so I don't want them thinking I don't like it or anything. Oh I'm dreading it already.


JerseyGirl - February 27

First off, I'm sorry that your family situation is what it is. Having a baby (and getting married) are wonderful things, and the fact that your family wasn't a part of it stinks. Though if you say it's for the best, good for you. As for a shower and registering... who says you have to do either? I am not having a shower (though the reason is my religion - we don't do anything like that before the baby comes... not even decorate a nursery). As for registering, it's not really for you, it's for the people who want to buy you a gift. Registering is just an easier way for them to see what you really want - instead of calling and asking. If you truly feel uncomfortable about putting the expensive things on the registry, then don't. But seriously, you shouldn't feel that way - most everyone who registers, puts everything on there. And if someone buys it, great. If not, oh well. People expect to see strollers, high chairs & car seats on a registry. Putting it on there doesn't mean that people will buy it for you. But if 2 or 3 people want to go in on a stroller, let them! Good luck.


IrinaZ - February 27

Believe it or not, but people actually enjoy throwing baby-showers for their friends and relatives! (I am one of those people:) No one from my family is living in this country and my DH family is really small. So my friends are throwing me a baby-shower. I know they will be upset if I told them I didn't want a babyshower.


IrinaZ - February 27

We are putting everything on our registry list - cheap stuff and expensive stuff. This way I have a list of all the things I need in one place - whatever I don't get at the shower, I will buy myself; it will just make it easier to keep track of all the things we need. As far as being uncomfirtable with asking people to buy you an expensive gift - it's not like you are asking one person to buy you a stroller. Bunch of people can put their money together and buy you a nice expensive gift. Some people actually prefer to buy gifts this way. First of all, only one desegnated person from that group needs to go and purchase the gift, instead of each one of them going to the store. Second, people will feel that they bought something usefull and not just wasted their money on some small stuff that your baby will never even wear.


AshleyandAverysmom - February 27

Jsut thinl of the registry as a list of things you need/want. Do'nt feel embarra__sed by your situation. If somebody wants to throw you a shower ..let doesnt matter how many people are there. I threw one for a friend, who only had 2 people show up for various was till fun. Plus it might take more energy to explain why you dont want one . You could register for smaller less expensive things if it makes you more comfortable. I'm not sure if there are any consignment sales in your area, but it is the season for them. If you go to bargain you can click on the state you live in and find out whats happening in your area. This is a great way to cut back on the cost of things too! Hope this helps!


jendean00 - February 27

I am having 3 baby showers. I registered for my car-seat, stroller, etc. I also registered for bottles, and smaller things. I work at a bank with almost all women. We always pool our money together and buy the mommy a nice gift. Strollers were not an uncommon gift. Then we would buy something small. I can not wait to my showers just to get together with people I don't get to see everyday. I can also understand how you feel. My parents did not like my husband and were not at any of my bridal showers or my was very hard and being pregnant I could totally understand not wanting to have that feeling. I would do what you feel most comfortable with.


lqtoo - February 28

I also won't be having a shower because it isn't something done in my religion. But I do plan on registering for everything, big and small. One good reason is that since many of my friends and family already have children, I figure that they would let me know if I put something on the registry that really didn't work well, or even better, that they might have one at home that they are no longer using. Here's hoping!


ophelia73 - February 28

That's too bad about your family situation, but it sounds like you have come to terms with it. I am having a shower, but we are doing an open house, rather than a sit around & play games & watch Mommy open gifts. I HATE being the center of attention, and I hate going to other people's showers, so I think it will work out well. As for registering, we put everything on it because our parents wanted to know what to get us. They bought some big ticket items & wanted to make sure we got what we wanted. And everyone else is right - just because it is on your registry doesn't mean people will buy it, or even feel obligated to! Good luck with everything!


sarahbaby11 - March 1

i felt that way but i found that the expensive items a few people went in on together. those big items are definitely needed and add up quick to buy yourself. just put some big items and some smaller items and let people decide.....just forget clothes except as ideas people tend to buy what they think are cute anyway


TamaraAngel - March 2

The thought of my shower makes me nervous too. I hate being the center of attention. My friend registered for VERY expensive items. I made sure everything on my registry was under $100 and there are many choices under $40. My thought is that groups of friends could all throw in some money to buy one item. I've kinda come to terms with it since i've celebrated in their special occasions over the years. Plus the shower will have food and alcohol and very nice prizes and favors.


Lisaren26 - March 3

Hi Cad0587, I can relate to your posting. I was beginning to think that I was the only one who had these feelings. My mom pa__sed away a few years ago and the the rest of my small family is out of state. I only have a few friends in the area and everyone (especially at work) keeps hounding me as to when I am going to set up a registry. The same has been the case with my MIL. I really do not want a baby shower and the whole situation has made me uncomfortable....uggg. Thanks for your posting.


squished - March 3

I'm a little apprehensive about the shower too. I'm glad that a lot of you feel the same way. I absolutely hate opening presents in front of people, but I guess everyone wants to see you open their present. My shower will be small too with my friends scattered all over the U.S. and we have a small family, but if we just make it a relaxing thing, maybe a bbq and pool party. Maybe we'll have a gril's only party and all the guys can go golfing....hmmmmm.....When are you guys doing your registry? Or when do you normally do it?


suze42 - March 3

Im uncomfortable w/showers also. But my sis wanted to throw me one...and I figured for all the million showers Ive attended...I should just sit back and enjoy. I did not register for big stuff...just all the incidentals that I needed...I only invited really really good friends...same ones that went to my wedding, my candle parties etc.. I did not get a huge amount of gifts which was fine w/me...but had a nice time w/my friends. Try to think of it as a nice afternoon w/friends. You deserve it!


Tammy276 - March 3

Sorry to hear about the family for the shower..put everything on the registry. If people don't want to spend the money, they will buy you the cheaper least that way if someone does want to spend the money, you will get what you want...also sometimes 2 people may get together and want to buy you something bigger....just put it all on there so they have the options.


Cad0587 - March 3

I've started doing my registry online at it's actually fun! haha it's reaaaally easy to do it online because they seperate EVERYTHING in to catagories you can just go through and you can read reviews on everything. We decided to put everything on it, except clothes and things like baby shampoo and c___p like that because we just get that at CVS haha we're just gonna use as a list for stuff we need to get in general anyway.



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