Need Help With In Law And Step Child

3 Replies
deb - March 21

Okay Ladies, this is an odd one. I am the step mother to a 9yrs old and living with in-laws while trying to buy a house and 13 weeks pregnant. I know I am touchy and probably quit moody althought I try to keep myself in check. My step daughter got a att_tude with me yesturday and my mother in law implied that I was the problem when the actual issue was that her mom was on her way to get her and she didn't want to go but wouldn't tell me. Anyway, I am trying to keep my stress level down for the baby but the situation yesturday really hurt me and made me angry at the same time. How would some of you handle this problem.

 

Beth - March 21

Hi Deb, I am 16 weeks pregnant and have a 9 year old step daughter, and both and 8 and 5 year old step sons. Luckily we are in a house of our own, but I get att_tude all the time am the primary person at home. My step daughter LOVES spending time at her grandma's house where she gets away with ANYTHING, but at home she knows she can't so she does not like to be there as much. What I did is sat my fiance down and talked to him about it and told him that she needs to spend more time at home and abide by the rules, I told him that I needed his back up right now because if things are like this at these ages, they will for sure only get worse. He agreed and efen sat there and told the kids! I think you should sit down and talk to your husband about it and see what he says, I do not think you are over reacting in anyway.

 

deb - March 21

Thanks Beth, it's nice to know I am not the only one out there dealing with this problem. The thing that kills me is I do make her abide by my rules but I also do things for her all the time to let her know that I love her and that she is as important to me as the one on the way. Her mom would help if I asked but that would make her resent me more and dad is a softy and says I am overreacting and sometimes I probably do but not yesturday. And you're right about grandparents they are push overs. I guess I am worried because it's getting worse since I got pregnant and although she's excited about her new brother or sister she is acting out badly.

 

Beth - March 21

Deb, well see in my case I am pretty much the mom, there mom comes around when she wants, she has her own life. I am the steady figure in their life, but yet they ALWAYS ask when there mom is picking them up or when they will see her again. I feel like telling them the truth that she is a big flake, but I could never do that to them. I make them abide by my rules to and sometimes that is so hard, the middle child is a handful, I don't know if it his his age or what is going through his mind, but he acts out at home, takes HOURS to do homework, walks away when talking to him, hits his little brother. . .I want to cry by tthe time his dad gets home every night, I have killer headaches and sometimes I feel that I just don't care what he does or if his homework gets done because I rather not be stressed over it. . .but I always stick with it!

 

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