Please I Need Advice

10 Replies
Stacey - December 21

I am due July 7, 2006. My boyfriend is really into motorcycles, and he wants to go to Moto GP on July 21-23. So depending on when the baby comes, Im going to have a one or two week old and he wants to go 5 hours away and have fun for 3 days. But I really need him to be here because this is our first and Ive never handled a newborn 24/7 before. And I cant even get relitives to help, they are all out of town, and his family is going to the GP too. I dont know what to do, I dont want to tell him "no you cant go", but I really need his help.

 

Jenn - December 21

well, to me, a newborn is a little more important than the GP. There is alwasy next year right?? I mean, if my hub wanted to go to that right after our baby was born I would definitely put my foot down. But that is just me. I would need his help too. Just tell him, "look, I can't do this myself and I am going to need you here to help" that is part of being a parent-responsibilt_ty!! It sucks sometimes, but the payoff is rewarding!!

 

Chaney - December 21

Stacey, maybe you could talk to him about the uncertainties. Although, you are due the 7th, the baby could be a week late making it the 14th. That would mean the baby would only be 7 days old!! Not to mention, heaven forbid, there be complications with you. Please try to urge him to reconcider. Your first child is much more important than a GP. I hope he starts to see this. Maybe in a few weeks when you really start to show he'll come around.

 

K - December 21

I would ask him to see how things go. If this is your first you'll most likely be 1-2 weeks late and he could miss the birth. My husband is worried about a hunting trip 2 weeks before my due date I told him to plan on going unless my Dr says I'm going early. I'll most likely be 1-2 weeks late and that makes it 4 weeks before due date. You may find he can't relate yet until the baby comes too. It's not real for guys til they actually see and hold the little one. My husband is afraid he'll never want to leave once we have the baby and he's a huge sportsman.

 

Stacey - December 22

Thanks for the input guys, I appriciate it. He already told his dad he is going to take the weekend off from work (he works nights) so he could go. I told him today that I was concerned, not only that he was leaving, but that I have absolutely nobody here to help me. I just know that when this baby is here he is going to be the right half of my brain so I can keep everything straight. But without him I dont know what I will do. When I talked to him, he didnt say much, I guess he isnt as concerned as I am. I almost cried when I was telling him, I was trying to keep it back because I am always emotional these days. How can I get it through to him?? How can I tell him to stay without him thinking I am controlling him?

 

Dia - December 22

Hi Stacey. I definitely think you should put your foot down. My dh likes to fish and there is a fishing tournament at the end of May and I am due June 13th. The fishing trip is 4 - 5 days long and is about 8 hours away. He came to me and asked me if I minded that he went. I told him that I really don't think he should go because I might go into early labor and we don't live anywhere near each other's families. Doesn't it bother you that he is so willing to leave so shortly after the baby arrives? That would really bother me!! As soon as I told my dh I was uncomfortable with him leaving he was totally fine with it and completely understood. I think it would really be terrible of him to question you about controlling him over this. This is sort of a big deal - - maybe the biggest deal of your and his life!! Good luck to you, I hope everything works out!!

 

Monique - December 22

All you can really do is phrase it in a way that's not TELLING him what to do. For example, "Honey, it would really mean a lot to me if you stayed here this year instead of going to the GP. I know how much you love it but me and the baby really need you now." Then it's up to him to do the right thing! You can't MAKE him do anything--as I'm sure you know....

 

Monique - December 22

PS. Good Luck!!

 

Melita - December 22

You should definitely put your foot down Stacey. This is important and it would be very selfish of him to leave you and bubs alone so early on after the birth. Perhaps he doesn't realise yet how ma__sive it's gonna be - maybe he will a little further down the track.

 

Ashley - December 22

Stacey - what if god forbid, you have to have an emergency cesarean?! Yuo won't be able to get out of bed by yourself, or pick the baby up put of the crib.

 

Nicole - December 22

my husband wants to go to las vegas for a bachlor party in april, I am due in the beginning of may. I told him I don't want him to go b/c I will be 8mths pregnant and anything can happen at that point. let him know how important it is to you for him to stay home. good luck

 

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