Question For Stay At Home Moms

6 Replies
skylersmom - May 7

i am a SAHM and i dont mind it. i love being home with my son and im also 20 wks pregnant so im looking forward to being home with this next one as well. the thing is, we are having financial difficulties right now because dh had to take a week off work last week. i know we'll get caught back up but i dont even think thats my issue right now. lately i feel like such a loser. i want to make some money and contrubute a little. i actually went to a job interview the other day not realizing i would have to lift patients (it was a nursing home) so i didnt get the job obviously. i doubt i will have any luck findind one right now. what should i do? i was going to take the CNA course while i was pregnant so i had a job to look forward to after the baby, but that requires lifting as well. i just feel like a bum....what do all you other SAHM's do? i feel like i should be working and people judge me because i dont....especially dh's family

 

Kitty - May 7

When I completed my CNA, we had a 6 month pregnant girl in the cla__s with us. She just learned how to ambulate and sometimes she would get a partner to help her ambulate and lessen the load

 

CKSAN - May 7

They say that a SAHM with 2 (or is it 3?) is equal to 2 1/2 full time jobs. YOU ARE CONTRIBUTING!!! and you are contributing to the most important job in the world. The way I look at it is you either do it your self, or pay someone to do it for you, either way it is SOMEONE's job. If you want and need to go to work to make money that's one thing, but don't do it just b/c you don't feel like you aren't contributing to society or to whatever... you are. I went through the same thing for a while... not feeling successful... not using my college degree.. etc. but I got over it after a while. I still feel it sometimes though. I think it's just pressure from the outside.

 

HannahBaby - May 7

I am a stay at home mom. My husband works 2 jobs so that i can be. He is a police officer and paints on the side. I dont ever feel like a bum or that i dont contribute because i am raising our children. Somethings are more important than money....and making sure that your kids are safe and taken care of is one of them. I do not want a job until my children are at least in their teens. Who will pick them up from school when they are sick if i work full time? Who will be there for christmas/spring break, who will be there for summer break?? These things are important, more important than money. Once you catch up on your bills im sure that the pressure will be off and you will feel better about not contributing financially

 

nha - May 7

I agree! You don't have to feel like a bum. I am 16 weeks pregnant and left the job just a few weeks back as I was having terrible nausea and vomitting. If you feel like working and also taking care of your kids you can try some work from home jobs. You can even wok and take care of your kids.

 

skylersmom - May 7

im afraid of those work from home jobs. i think their a big scam. im sure there are some that arent scams, but does anyone know how to find them?

 

Susan W - May 7

I'm a SAHM too. I have THREE degrees, one a professional degree I paid a lot of money and hard work to get, and I had a very lucrative and fulfilling career, but I hated the thought of someone else raising my child or spending more time with him than I do. So I quit and stayed home. I don't even leave him often or for long with a babysitter! What we do as SAHM's is more important than anything else we can do EVER. If you need the money, that's one thing, although evaluate that carefully. You going back to work will mean you need childcare, expenses related to childcare, work clothing, gasoline, extra car (?), meals out, and stuff like that. And who would take care of the house stuff, which I find more than a full-time job with kids running around. There have been a couple studies that have shown that two-income families can often subsist on just one by eliminating some things, and a couple studies have shown that frequently when the mom goes back to work, it actually costs more than she makes in hidden costs. I have picked up working one Saturday a month, I make $300 in 3 hours, they are happy for me to do more days if possible, but I only work if DH can be home. And I nurse exclusively -- we don't even own a bottle -- so I'm not sure if I'll keep that schedule once this new baby arrives. But if you are looking for fulfillment, try checking out volunteer work (animals, nursing homes, whatever) where you can pick your hours and do what you feel comfortable with, or do something at home (sewing, crafting, whatever you like to do) and maybe you can get through this tough point. Or start working on that degree. It gets you out of the house a little and gets your brain going. I really think that if more women stayed home with their kids, we would have a better educated, politer, kinder society, and this is coming from a highly educated woman who swore she'd never not work :) I doubt anyone is judging you -- I used to think that, and then I found that most people were envious!!

 

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