Sick Of Stereotypes I Am More Than Just A Mom

4 Replies
Cassie06 - May 1

I just need to vent a little about something that bugs me to death!! It seems like now that I am pregnant, that is all that defines me. I have no other life according to the people I talk to. I am a full-time college student, I will be a junior next year, and I was just accepted into the teacher education program after passing Praxis 1, and an interview, and a series of essays. I did all of this while pregnant, but no one seems to care. My parents, family, friends, etc all care nothing about any of my other accomplishments. I am just married and pregnant. We got together with some old friends of the family over the weekend (my parents, me and my husband, and my sister) and everyone was catching up. The asked my sister about school (she is in high school and going to votech) and cosmotology and her babysitting, and caught up with my parents about work and church and everything else. When they came to me they said "Oh, and of course you are married and pregnant". This happens all the time!! Why does nothing else matter?? I am so thrilled to be married and I love my husband more than anything (May 28th will be our year anniversary!!) and I am so excited about the baby and love him and cant wait till he is here, but I wish that people would see that I am still a woman with other accomplishments than what women are "supposed" to do. And being married and pregnant isnt all that easy, so people shouldnt write that off so fast in and of itself. I guess I am just whining because I want some recognition once in a while for all of my accomplishments, other than just being a wife and mom.

 

Erynn21 - May 1

Oh Ca__sie I'm sorry you have to go through this, I was on the other end of the spectrum for 10 yrs. My hubby and I waited to have children so we could build our life together in our 20's, now I'm 31 and am 22 wks.and very happy. My hubbie's family is all about getting married and having children immediately as if that's the only way 2ppls relationship can be validated, so they have always thought something was wrong with us, and our relationship didn't really matter. I think it's awesome that you are doing all of these things and are pg. For me I had to wait, I also was defined as the one w/out any kids like I had some kind of disease. People just don't really think a lot of the time and just say whatever they feel like. My SIL started telling everyone my personal business when she found out we were having a baby, like i wasn't on the pill, and it must be a miracle because something was wrong with me(which there's not). One of my other SIL's was like did you always want kids, is this some kind of accident, blah, blah...Just because I don't fit the mold they have created. It can go both ways, ppl just always want to see things their own way. As long as you know all the things you're doing and you have a happy supportive marriage, you've got what you need. Good luck in the future, and be proud of yourself :)

 

SuzieQ - May 2

I can empathize. I just start talking about something else entirely when I get tired of people just asking about the baby. I know it sounds bad, but I do have more in my life than this pregnancy too! I usually give whoever I"m talking to a quick update, maybe one cute thing, then move on. I turn the conversation to them - ask how their partner is, or something to do with something recent in their life. I just don't want to turn itno one of the women who ONLY talk about their pregnancy (yes, I know this is a pregnancy forum and this is where I get to talk only about my baby!) lol :)

 

DeeJay - May 2

Boy, do I hear you on this one!!! I also waited till I was 32 to have a baby, and this May will be my 10th wedding anniversary. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and only just started telling my customers at work (hair salon) that I am pregnant. And thats only because I am starting to show. I didn;t want kids and made that very clear for along time, and of course alot of people thought something was "wrong" with me. When my husband and I made the descision to have a baby, now everyone asks me why I am pregnant! I am also not really cutsy cutsy about baby stuff so I would rather give a quick update and move on to the rest of my very busy life, so now people are saying I must not want the baby, which is not true. I just don't want to repeat the same story over and over again. Just the other day I was talking to a customer about moving and a concert I was going to in NY, and she said "but your pregnant" soooooo??? I am not dead!!!! Life goes on even when your pregnant!! I work as a real estate agent, and have my own hair salon, I help out at 2 animal shelters and go to concerts and the shore all the time. But some people think you have to stay at home and lay on the sofa of something. I also plan to go back to work full time after the baby is born, and I have a week long vacation planned for Feb, just me and hubby, as long as I loose the weight. (i am sure I'll hear all kinds of tisk tisks for that.) Oh well there is my vent. I am looking forward to the baby coming, but not so much everyone else putting in there 2 cents! I have learned from this that I will NEVER try to give my opinions to anyone who is pregnant unless I am asked. (although I never really did) I will ask how they are doing and move on to something else unless they want to tell me their baby stories. And as long as they don't talk about labor, I will listen!

 

HannahBaby - May 2

It goes both ways Ca__sie. Im a stay at home mom and sometimes get "o your just a stay at home mom" Being a wife and a parent is 1)the most important job in the world and 2) the hardest, longest, most underpaid job in the world. You should take pride in your pregnancy and your marriage and not feel upset when people arent that interested right now in your schooling. God put us on this earth to procreate, to keep the circle of life going, that is why alot of people believe that you arent complete until you are a mother. Good luck

 

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