Talk Some Sense Into Me Please

3 Replies
squished - February 12

K...I'm 17w3d and so far everything has been great. BUT that was how my last pregnancy was until at 21w we discovered a fatal birth defect and that our baby had passed away with no warning. We didn't have any u/s between 6w and 21w with the first pregnancy but everything seemed fine with doppler heartbeats and movement. With this one I've had 3 u/s and they did a level II u/s last week and all is well. I am still scared to death to be excited about this pregnancy (I am by the way :) and to buy any maternity clothes or to sign up for all of the free magazines b/c last time I couldn't get them to stop after we lost the baby. How can I make myself stop being so scared and let myself enjoy this baby? I think that even my dh is afraid to talk about stuff, but he's not as nervous as I am. Thanks you guys!

 

steph115 - February 12

I don't know if I can t"alk sense" in to you, but it certainly is understandable that you are apprehensive. I certainly understand your feelings. I had a positive quad screen (1:10 risk of DS) and after two level 2 ultrasounds ruled out the presence of any soft markers, they tell me that my placenta "looks funny" and that it may be from fibrin deposits. So now I've driven myself crazy thinking that I have clots in the placenta I can't help but be sick of worrying and just wishing I could enjoy being pregnant without reservation. I feel helpless because I can't tell what is going on in there! Really bad situation for a semi-control freak! LOL I guess I really don't have any real "advice" , but just realize that what you are experiencing is perfectly normal and that even the mom with the "perfectly normal" pregnancy can find something to worry about. It just comes with the territory LOL. I wish I had better advice :-( Hang in there, it will get easier.

 

suze42 - February 12

You are just reacting normally according to your history. Give yourself a break...you deserve one. I have had 3early m/c...and have fretted over every bit of this current pregnancy. I am 17wks and had not seen an u/s since 8 wks until today. I wondered if the baby even had arms, legs and 1 head??? Thank Goodness she looked fine and Im mostly relieved, but still fret over rare circ_mstances such as the one you had w/your last child. Im so sorry btw. In a few weeks you will be past your "danger" zone, and Im sure will start feeling much better. Its so normal. Try to enjoy what you can...Oh and I understand about signing up for stuff...after my 2nd m/c I got those Gerber letters saying "your baby is __ mos now!"...it was horrible! I may let myself start looking at nursery bedding... GOOD LUCK. Im sure you are going to be holding that baby in a few months and all this worry will be long forgotten. Mean while your other mommy worries will be kicking in! :)

 

drgb1967 - February 12

I am in almost the exact same situation. I am 17 w, 4 d. I lost my last pregnacy at 22 weeks. I just had contractions and went to the ER and there was no HB. And of course, a year plus later, I still get all the free stuff and upsetting magazines in the mail. It has been devastating. I understand not wanting to get excited about the current pregnancy but you have to know that it is OK to allow yourself to experience all the joy as well as the anguish. I finally went out this past weekend and bought maternity clothes and it felt really great. Also, it has been very comforting for me to have a fetal monitor at home so I can listen to the baby's HB any time I want. You should really consider getting one for peace of mind. Also, what happened to us last time is really rare and your US so far have been perfect so I don't think you need to worry. I think we both deserve to be happy and experiencce the love we have for our babies (they deserve it too), regardless of what the outcome of our current pregnancy's are. Good luck and I'll keep you all in my prayers.

 

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