The Thing That S Stressing Me

7 Replies
denimbluez - January 9

of all the things that could go wrong that i SHOULD be worried about i am stressing over the worst thing. i am stressing (big time.....daydreams, nightmares, constant thoughts, etc.) about the flood of people coming over after we get home with the baby. i have a few months left to go, due in april, but i am just soooo worried about this. i am a very social person, but in my eyes this is a huge adjustment that my husband and i will be going thru. we also have a dog who is like a child, and i know it will be an adjustment with her as well. i am so paranoid about us getting home, TRYING to spend some time getting used to things, and having a flood of people in and out. namely, my biggest concern is my mother in law. now she's not a "bad" person but she is so annoying. sometimes you can sense when people are annoyed or just want to be left alone, and common sense tells you to stay away. but she is the opposite. she smothers people. she is very nervy, and i could just see her over here every day all day. worst part is that she's been with this man for almost 3 years, and she does not drive. so where she wants to go, he has to bring her. so not only will i have to deal with HER but the BF as well!! and he drives both me and my husband NUTS!! venting about all this makes me feel alittle better but can anyone give me any comfort to calm me down? it's really nerving me bad bad bad :o(

 

ShoppingForTwo - January 9

Well I think its good that your worrying about something like this instead of pondering and stressing all the possible things that can go wrong. You are on the right track. Well, to tell the truth, I never really thought to much about what your worried about. I figured everyone came and visited in the hospital the first few days, and that was it. Hum. Well tell them you don't want company. The should call before they come over so make sure its only 1 or 2 visitors at a time. Good luck!

 

Gemini_Girl - January 9

Hi I think your hubby should tell her (as its his mother) that when you come out from the hospital you both need time to adjust and bond as a family, the 3 of you and the dog! Also explain that trying to get into a routine is very important for a baby (some people beleive this theory some dont, but its a good excuse if you dont want company) so its essential to set up appropiate times for visiting, and you must know in advance, also you'll be expecting alot of visitors and just coz shes the gran doesnt mean she can hog all the visiting time! Good Luck!

 

cors1wfe - January 9

I agree with Gemini - have your husband breaks the news that you guys both don't really want company - especially unannounced - your mother in law sounds like mine personality wise she does drive and has been known to show up unannounced so my husband will be laying down the law with her before the baby is born - I have an idea also that I am going to try....I will mention how I watch the baby shows on tv like baby story etc. and that I think it's so rude when all of these people smother the new family. hopefully she will get the hint. She used to be a nurse in the post delivery department and always used to comment that people get too many visitors in the hospital so...just an idea I am going to mention the baby shows all I can so that he sinks into her thick skull. Good luck

 

heatherjene - January 10

I hadn't thought about this but you are sooo right. I am the type of person that is very honest with people and I would sit her down and tell her the truth. Have your husband there with you if that would make it a lil easier, but lay down the rules ahead of time. Believe me, she will listen because she won't want to miss seeing the baby when she is welcome to come over. Good luck and I'm sure evrything will work out.

 

xvkx - January 10

It actually is important that you all get to spend time with each other without disturbance after coming home for adjustment, so don't worry about this being a needless concern, you're on the right track. :) Make sure you let everyone know ahead of time that you want to be left alone for a few days, and don't just tell them once - remind them every couple of weeks so there's less chance of them forgetting. Then when the day comes if anyone shows up stick by your decision and don't let them "bully" you! How you do this is up to you, probably the most polite thing to do would be to have your DH inform them at the door/on the phone that you don't want to be disturbed for a few days. I'm a little less tactful... I fully plan on locking the door and ignoring both it and the phone, lol. :P

 

stefkay - January 10

I'd probably worry about the same things, luckily we live far enough away from family that they will probably come visit for a day or two and then leave. Noone will be dropping by daily at all. I actually am thinking of having my mom come stay with us the first week to help me out as I'm pretty nervous about handling it all by myself and my bf will be 10 times more clueless than I am already, lol :)

 

disko love - January 10

oh wow! I can really relate to your situation. My meddling mother in law tends to be the same way. With our last baby, he's 3 now, my husband had to have a talk with her and let her know that it isn't anything against her but that we needed to bond as a family unit. She took it for what it was worth... but I sense she always thinks it's me who told her son what to say. But whatever. She acts like a "normal" mother in law... whatever that is. =)

 

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