THEY WOULDN T TELL ME NOT HAPPY

15 Replies
Mandy1984 - May 8

Hi I got a scan today and the doctor refused to tell me the s_x of my baby!!! I was raging!! still am! I have been really ill with this pregnancy and the past couple of days I have been feeling a little better and was really looking forward to this scan so i was really disappointed :( I get a scan every 4 weeks and its usually a different doctor every time so hopefully next month... Its driving me up the walls not knowing!!! I'm sooooo nosy I have 2 girls and I lost a little boy in at 18wks so I am really hoping for a boy but 3 girls would also be nice, Anyone else in the same boat? Or anyone else know the s_x? If so How far on where you when you found out?

 

HannahBaby - May 8

Alot of doctors wont tell you....they get kinda mad that as soon as they touch your with the probe people are like "what is it!!" and dont even care if the baby is healthy (not saying thats you, that just their opinion of ppl who ask) Consider youself lucky though....I get ONE ultrasound at 20 weeks so if i get a bad doc, or baby isnt cooperating....tuff luck. but in the end thats ok i just want to know baby is healthy. This pregnancy, since it may be my last, i am traveling 4 hours to get a 4d ultrasound done at 27 weeks....Good luck.

 

Mandy1984 - May 9

hey hannahBaby, I spoke to you on another thread, I know what you mean about people just wanting to know the s_x and nothing else but I waited for the doctor to show me everything legs, toes, head, back ect... then asked... Also its also nerves, I want a boy but then again it was a boy I lost and I'm scared that maybe I have a preoblem carrying boys, I know that sounds silly but my mum also had 3 m/carriages after 16weeks and all babys' were boys so I think I would feel some 'relief' if it was a girl (if that makes sense) I get 2 scans next month, 1 on the 6th June and 1 on the 7 th June, One is a normal maternity sscan and the other is my '20 week' scan even though I will be almost 23 weeks......Also all medical care is free no matter how rich or poor, we have NO insurance or anything like that (NHS-Northern Ireland) and the ''against hospitals policy to reveal s_x) really only started a couple of yrs back when one of the doctors opened a private clinic with the 3D/4D scans charging £150 ($300) for a scan to tell the s_x of the baby so that kinda p__ses me off, Anyways Good uck with your Ultra sound

 

Neets - May 9

Mandy, glad you're scan went well and that baby's doing well too. Perhaps you'll get luckier next time and be able to tell the s_x of the baby at yr next appt. I, myself, can't wait to find out at the very end! :-)

 

HannahBaby - May 9

Hey mandy...At my first ultrasound with my first child i had the MEANEST tech in the entire world!! She wouldent show me anything (legs, heart, lungs, stomache...nothing!!) When i asked about the gender she says "ultra sounds are th a__sess the health of the baby, not what the gender is" she wouldent even look. So i called my ob crying that i didnt get to see anything, she didnt show me anything and i was DEMANDING another US. I got another one at another facitlity. I had a 20 min ultrasound, saw EVERYTHING and got to find out the s_x.

 

Mandy1984 - May 9

good on ya HANNAH!!!! Sometimes I think because I am younger they kinda treat me different, I know me saying that is kinda me doing the same thing, I'm judging them for judging me for being younger lol... What age are you? I am 22 and have 2 DD's age 5 and 2 Shannon and beth

 

Chrissythefairy - May 9

wow thats horrible that they wont tell you. If i were you id call a head of time and find out what doc is goning to do your U/S and if he or she will tell you the s_x try and see if there is one at that office that does. if not then you might have to pay and have a 4d one done some were els. Good luck

 

Jen - May 9

When I went in for my 18 wk ultrasound, the first thing the tech asked was if we wanted to know the s_x. Also, before that the nurse said, how exciting, today you get to find out the s_x! Even the doctor was anxious to know. It's a boy! I'm sorry they gave you a hard time, I wish you a much better experience on your next visit : )

 

HannahBaby - May 9

Hi Mandy. Im actually 21, i had my first daughter when i was 19. I got treated very differently by different people. One of the midwifes was just totally nasty to me. My fingers were so swollen that i couldent wear my wedding rings so she just a__sumed i was a single girl who got pregnant by mistake. My husband finally got to come with me once and after that she was nice as pie to me (either the fact that i was married or the police uniform scared her!!) How old were you when you had your first?? Not to pry into your business but if you dont mind me asking what was the reason that you lost your little boy at 18 weeks??

 

kmwebber - May 9

It jus really irritates me to hear that these doctors and tech won't tell you the s_x of the baby. My doctor makes it a big deal he tells us that we'll find out the s_x on our next appointment and tells us to bring a tape so that he can record the ultrasound for us. He also gives us the ultrasound pictures and has an arrow pointing to the part and writes boy or girl in depending on the s_x of the baby. He also has told me if we don't find out on that appointment then he'll do another my next appointment to see if the baby is more willing to let us see what it is. When we went in for my daughter she was very proud to show off that she was a girl. It just ticks me off that there are doctors out there that won't tell you guys the s_x of your baby. That is absolutely ridiculous.

 

Mandy1984 - May 9

you are luvky if the doctor tells you!! I am starting to wonder if I should just wait until the birth after all this will mroe than likely be my last, mmmm I think I'm far too nosy but what I WON'T do is expect to find out, if they tell me great if not ah well, saves on disappointment from not finding out... Hannah**I met my partner when I was 14 and I fell pregnant at 16, had my 2nd at 19.. I never got any real reason for my little boy, The expierence was awful, The night I went into the hospital I had a scan and baby was fine, I was losing clots the size of small melons (TMI sorry) but all I got was told off for making soooo much fuss as the doctor had told me I just had a fibroide on the neck of my womb which was causing me to bleed, They kept me in overnight and at around 9.10 he was delivered making this awful gasping noise and his legs were shking as if he were taking a fit??? I had to have a D&C after it cos the doc said the afterbirth couldn't get past the fibroide, When I woke up from surgery the doc told me there was NO fibroide there after all, The nurses were a lot nicer to me then cos they knew they had fuc*ed up by yelling at me. There was no reason except the baby had no fingerprints/footprints and he should have had which can indicate downs also his thigh bone was shorter than it was suspose to be so that also indicated dwarfism but no real reason for why he had to die, I got some pictures of him but they were taken the next day so his skin looks kinda bad in them but its good I have them, It feels strange at the moment cos I had the m/carriage almost a yr ago now (1st June05) at 18.5 weeks and now 1 yr later I am 18 weeks pregnant again, But so far I have had no bleeding/problems ect.. so I am beginning to stop worrying as much

 

Mandy1984 - May 9

oh yeah there was also possible talk that a clot may have formed in the placenta, I didn't agree to a post mortem so I'll never know... I didn't want to find out what was wrong with him as I NEVER want to hear someone say ''its for the best'' petty or what lol

 

DanielleO - May 9

Hey Mandy, I am in the same boat as you, I went for my 18 week U/s and they wouldnt tell me the s_x of the baby. I was so happy I was going to find out the s_x and they when I asked at the end of the ultrasound the lady was like, um, I'm not allowed to tell you that but I'll show you what it looks like in between the legs and you can figure it out for yourself...so she shows us in between the legs and ....how am I supposed to know what it would show?? She only held the probey thing there for a fraction of a second we couldnt even see it. I was SO dissapointed!!! I know how you feel. Do you live in Canada? Because when I got mine done I was living in British Columbia and i guess they have a law there you arnt allowed to because of legal reasons to do with people sueing them if they told them the wrong s_x. I'm living in Oregon now so I hope my next US they will tell me the s_x. Good luck to you and your little one :)

 

momma87 - May 9

That was the first question before the ultrasound lady squirt on the goo for the ultrasound..."do you want me to tell you what your having?" The lady couldn't tell...i'm guessing because of the position of the baby. From what I've heard from friends, you can't always tell at 18 weeks. I'm hoping with my next ultrasound, I'll find out.

 

Ddvinson3 - May 10

I am 20 weeks and just found out yesterday that we are having a baby boy! I'm so excited. I would be so mad if they didn't tell me what the s_x was!

 

elisabeth - May 11

hey MAndy i found out at 16 weeks that i was having a girl but i had to have a level2 u/s because they thought something might be wrong. (there wasn't) but i got to know really early what i was having... i'm now 22 weeks and ready fo rher to be here already!! i am so impatient

 

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