Thinking Of Leaving ADVICE

11 Replies
. - September 29

I'm thinking about leaving my boyfriend. He isn't abusive or anything, he just isn't ever happy with me. Its like i don't do anything right anymore, and its making him and me both miserable. I live with him, and i don't know where i would go if we broke up, but we've tried to make things work and it just doesn't feel like they're going to. Should i stay for the baby, or leave before i can't take it anymore? I'm 14 weeks pregnant.

 

Cathy - September 29

Has this all started happening since you found out you were pg? That happens a lot and sometimes you just need to give each other some space.

 

. - September 29

I moved in with him after i got pregnant, thats what strated it. I'm not a very good cooking, cleaning sort of girlfriend, and he wants me to be.

 

Brooke - September 29

If you both want to make it work, I think you can. You need to both make sacrifices and see each others point of view. If he wants you to cook and clean, then ask him to help you make dinner. It can be fun to do it together. You could also do a cooking cla__s together. About cleaning....it depends who has more time. If you both work, then both of you should do the cleaning. Have him clean up himself and you should do the same after yourself. Try and think of all the good things about him. Men need lots of compliments, they are kind of like little boys. If you show him love, then hopefully he will show you love back. You have to be patient. It is a big step moving in together and an even bigger step having a baby together. Most couples have a lot more time to work these things out, but you only have a small amount of time. There is no perfect relationship, but if you both try, you can make it a good one. If there are things that you need from him, you need to tell him too. good luck. Let us know how it works out.

 

Ashley - September 29

Try not to do anything hasty. Realize that there are some extra hormones kicking in that can effect your choices. I really have to reason things out to figure out if what I'm feeling even makes sense anymore! Good luck on your desicion.

 

bean - September 29

Don't forget too that it takes a while for two people who just moved in together to get used to one another. It takes some time to rub each other's edges off. Make sure you still do what you used to before you moved in together - i.e. go out on dates, etc. And do things together - like shop for new furniture together and start cooking dinner together - it'll make you both feel like you live there rather than it's someone's place. Write out a list of chores - someone has to do the laundry and someone has to make sure the cars have gas, oil, and are registered. Decide who gets what responsbilities. I think you're both going through a lot of changes right now, and the extra stress is wearing on you. But you're having a baby. You both will want to be there for your child, and you definitely will need the support once the baby comes. Give it a chance!

 

Bonnie - September 29

I have to agree. Moving in with someone is very tough. That's why they say 1st year of marriage is one of the toughest. My hubby and I fought like crazy but now 7 years later we are the happiest people I know. It takes a ton of adjusting and changing on both ends as you are basically combining your lives. Not to mention you being pregnant makes it 100 times tougher I think. The best thing you can do is talk. One thing I can say about my hubby is no matter how rough things got, we would always (after calming down if we fought) make time to talk about it (though many times it took a LOT of dicsussions, lol). Maybe look into some counceling too. Good luck to you!

 

alana - September 29

Is he just picky? Did he act like this before you were preg.

 

Lisa - September 29

The first year is always the hardest! And you're pregnant which does not help with all the hormones. Ask him why he is never happy with you? Is his expectations too much? You need to talk and get more information as sometimes what may seem like the problem is really not, it could be something totally different than what you are fighting about. Isn't being an adult fun!

 

nell - September 30

dont think im been rude, but why cant you cook or clean, im not saying you have to, but i love doing it appart from if he was a messy you know what. do you argue about silly things all the time, and do not stay in a relationship just for the baby, your feelings count too.

 

Ashley - September 30

nell, it is rare i hear about somebody else that also doesn't mind cleaning. i generally do all the housework b/c my hubby is gone all day. we did come up with a unique agreement, he cleans out the microwave (which I find nasty) and I clean the bathrooms (which is not so nasty as long as I have rubber gloves and a brush). people find us so weird, but it works! lol

 

Brandie - September 30

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you and how long have you been together? I got with my ex husband when I was 12 going on 13, I got prego and married when I was 16 and we got a place together. I didn't cook, clean, or do laundry. I really didn't know how my mother always did it when I lived with her. He would rarely say anything to me about the cleaning and things. We would just clean together on his days off, he would take one room I would take the other. After our divorce(about a year and a half later) I was in my own place, I lived alone with my daughter (at the time barely 1 years old). I had to teach myself everything on cleaning and cooking and when I learned it I felt kinda bad that I made him do any of it( but I was a stay home mom) when he got his days off. If you try doing things around the house maybe it will take some stress off of him, and you to can gradually do more things to reduce stress and get better before the baby comes. But remember that you can't do it all right now you are pregnant.

 

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