Wedding And A Baby Drama

8 Replies
Rachel29 - December 11

So I’m scheduled to have my baby the first week in June, and my sister’s wedding is two weeks after that on the 21st four hours away in another state from where we live. I talked to my sister about it, a I told her I would be in no shape to be a bridesmaid, and that most likely I wouldn’t be able to make it at all since I don’t think traveling with a newborn baby that age would be a good idea. Besides, it’s my first baby, and I hear lots of times they are late. My sister seemed ok with it, and agreed with me that it would be difficult for me to make it, but was sad that I wouldn’t be there. Anyway, my Mom called me later, and gave me the biggest guilt trip imaginable because I wasn’t going to move heaven and earth to be at her wedding. She kept saying I should support my sister on her big day etc. etc. We ended up getting into a big fight. I cried, she cried…it was a bad scene, but I wasn’t going to back down. I feel like June will probably be the biggest month in my life with my first baby, and I don’t feel right about putting my baby at risk by traveling that early in it’s life. It’s not like this is my seventh child, and I’m comfortable with the whole baby thing (and even if it was, I doubt I’d be comfortable traveling that early). Anyway, who is right here? I actually don’t understand why my mother doesn’t get it. She had four kids! I know she’s upset because my other sister is overseas and won’t make it, but my brother will be there! Any thoughts?

 

HeatherIsHopeful - December 11

hey Rachel... I totally agree with you 100% traveling with a baby is hard enough let alone a new born! if you sister REALLY wanted you there it would be easier for her to postpone the wedding then it is for you to know an exact day your baby would be born! how long has you sister been planning this wedding? I don't see why in the early stages of planning when you found out you were pregnant and the due date was in june that she wouldn't say "hey maybe we shouldn't do this in june" but thats just me. you mom has no right to guilt trip you like that either thats just absurd. maybe because she has had four kids she expects you to know everything she knows and feel the same way she feels and that just isnt the case... stand your ground and dont let anyone make you feel bad, your baby is first priority and June is YOUR time no matter what :)

 

newlywed0915 - December 11

While I can see both sides here....I'm not sure what I'd do either. If your doc says its safe to travel, why not do it? It is going to be a BIG month for both of you. This marriage for your sis is a ONCE in a lifetime thing..hopefully, right? This baby is also your first, but you will probably have at least one more, right? So these are BOTH special times. I can see why its important for your sister that you're there on her special day, and its also important that your baby is safe. Being recently married, I can totally sympathize with both of you. Family is a big deal, especially at a wedding! and if my siblings couldn't have made it I would have been pretty upset. I can see how you'd be worried having your baby exposed to the troubles of traveling too. But talk with your doc and see if it will be too dangerous....because it may be worthwhile being there for your sis on her special day.

 

Sims1 - December 11

in the indian culture, (from India). Mother and Child are not supposed to leave the house for 40 days unless for dr's appts. and a wedding?! with all those people and people who might be sick, my opinion is not the time to take out a new born. unless your husband forfeits and stays back with the baby while you go attend the wedding and come back home right away. i think that's fair....i would most likely do that just to not miss my sisters wedding either.

 

Stephanie_31 - December 11

I am sorry but I have to side with your sister on this. IF you deliver (naturally) a week or more before the wedding I can't see why you would not be able to attend. If it was my sister, I would do anything to be there. I got married 2 years ago and my 2 best friends (whom are like sisters to me) did not attend my wedding because they had recently give birth (6 weeks and 3 weeks prior). I can't tell you who terrible it made me feel. I was a bridesmaid in both of thier weddings and threw wedding and baby showers for both of them. To not have them come to my wedding was very difficult for me. Travelling with your little one will not be as difficult as you may think. It will take quite a bit longer but it is possible. To limit your child exposure to others, keep him/her covered in the baby seat. Most people understand that a child that is covered is not to be disturbed. If you do need to take the baby out, remove yourself from the crowd before. Even if you only stay for the ceremony, it is something that she will remember for her rest of her life. Your sisters wedding is somehing that you will never have a chance to do again.

 

Rachel29 - December 12

Thanks guys for your advice. Things have settled down a little with me and my Mom, and I think we've worked something out. My sister's fiance's parents have like a luxury RV, and they have offered to let us borrow it so that we can go to the wedding comforatably. Like I said, I'm still really nervous about it, (traveling with the baby), but maybe I'll be able to do it after all. I really don't want to miss my sisters wedding!

 

EricaG - December 13

I would NOT do it. You will probably still be having postpartum bleeding and a 4 hour car ride will not be fun for that. And if you are b___stfeeding you are still going to be establishing that. A newborn nurses like every hour for about a half an hour at a time. A 4 hour car trip could easily turn into a 6 hour trip. And all of those people at the wedding are going to want to hold that cute little baby and put their germy hands all over him and his raw little immune system. NOT a good scenerio in my mind.

 

newlywed0915 - December 13

Rachel, I'm so happy you found a way to make everyone happy. It will be such a special day, and while your baby will get a lot of attention, dont' be afraid to say no to people that want to hold her. Erica- she is going to be in a luxury RV...so I'm sure she'll be able to relax and watch her baby's feeding times. Thats very nice of your future in laws to do that for you. It'll make the whole trip a lot easier. Good luck with everything!

 

mgn - December 15

Rachel, the reason this is so hard is b/c the baby will come when he or she wants to and you have no idea what to expect. Nothing can change that. You need to have a plan A and a plan B in place and you will have to do what you have to do when the time comes. For example, if you have baby on time and feel good by the wedding day then all of you can go. If you have baby but dont want to take baby then maybe daddy and baby can stay behind for the night. you can pump your milk, make up a few bottles, etc. its will all work itself out when the time comes. u dont need to stress to much about this. its not good for you or baby. i do agree with most that you should make it a point to get there, no matter what. perhaps u can even schedule a flight?? it wont take as long and you could be home with dad and baby by nights end. there are plenty of options. unless baby decides to come that weekend.....but obviously, nobody would be upset with you for that.......so dont worry. best of luck

 

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