I Don T Feel Like Sex HELP

8 Replies
tonilee7 - June 4

YES!!! You read right, I do not feel like s_x, and I have no idea why.....With my last pregnancy I was the opposite I could'nt get enough, but I am 6 weeks pregnant and have had s_x about 3 times since I fell. Why am I telling you this because this is damaging my relationship with my fiance, he doesnt even come near me anymore since I havnt been wanting s_x he just gets @#$%ed off at me when I say no to s_x! So he's theory is if I cant be bothered giving him s_x he shouldnt have to give me any attention. Alls we have done is blue. It's not that I dont want s_x my body just says NO. So as you can imagine I am pretty down and out, as I have a fiance that just cant be bothered with me, because I dont give him s_x. Even though this was a planned pregnancy I am seriosly considering terminating it as it is causing to much conflict, would I be doing the right thing or wrong thing? When I tell him I love him his reply is: No you dont coz if you did you would (in his words) pay attention to me(meaning give me s_x). I am exited coz I am pregnant but underneath it is killing me (I have cried my self to sleep for the last few nights this is how bad it is affecting me).......please if anyone else out there has had this problem please let me know what you did or how you handled this............thanks toni

 

Mandy1984 - June 4

ditto on what Mommy said, This really is not your problem but your partners!! You really shouldn't stress out this much its not good for you or baby!! Is there a friend or relative you could stay with, even for 1 or 2 nights just to have a 'heart to heart' chat with friend/mum/aunt ect....Also is your B.Friend excited about the baby? If so try explaining that he has upset you so much you are considering aborting!!! Good luck

 

Soontobemom - June 5

I agree ladies, but also tell him that you are not a s_x machine. I would tell him that the guilt trips aren't making you hot for him either. If he wants you to please him, he should make you happy. What about a lovely romantic dinner, some flowers, or hey even caring about you for a change. Men can be idiots, but thankfully my husband still brings me flowers on Val day, Birthdays and takes me out every once in a while.

 

Natasha_26 - June 5

whatever happens please dont have an abortion. It obvious that you really want the baby and shouldnt terminate the pregnancy for your partners satisfaction. you will definitely regret it! I have been married for a year now and had s_x with my husband just twice becoz of painful penetration.My husband and I were both virgins when we got married, even though I was 25 and he was 27. My husband has never ever gotten angry with me abt this. He has been very understanding despite his needs. He just kisses me and cuddles me while we are in bed. Believe me, s_x is not the only thing which proves how much you care abt a person.

 

Steff - June 7

I am 11 weeks pregnant and s_x is the furthest thing from my mind. Since I found out I was expecting, I think we;ve done it 4 times maybe... I am just not in the mood. I have explained to my DH that it's not him, it's me. One of the first times we had s_x since I was pregnant, I got these REALLY bad pains. It scared us both. He is being so wonderful about it though. He does not pressure me or anything, he just holds me which is so nice. TONILEE: Do not get an abortion because your man is being immature. If he need to get off, tell him to get some p___n and materbate in the bathroom. Your body is going through a lot right now and if you don't feel like s_x, he should just deal with that. There is alot more to a realationship than s_x. I hope everything works out for you.

 

looby - June 9

If your fiance is giving you grief now, it really needs to be nipped in the bud, cos once the baby is born it could be months before you feel like s_x. I had s_x probs with my dh after the birth of my first baby, men seem to feel like they are being pushed away/not loved anymore. They see s_x as a way of showing love and need to learn other ways. Maybe he's craving physical contact. We went to a s_xual therapist with similar probs as you and she actually banned s_x until we "both" felt ready. It took me a very long time because my dh had made such a big deal out of it and I started to resent him. Happy to say that eventually he came to his senses and realised what he had to lose, we're now expecting our second. There are many ways which you can both show love, s_x is just one of them. Try talking to him about how you feel and do not feel guilty about this. We all go through s_xual peeks/lows and if your partner loves you, he should be understanding and supportive of this. Unfortunately as I discovered, it can take a long time for them to realise this and sometimes as in my case, it takes a third party to tell them before they will actually listen! Whatever happens, try not to let this continue because resentment is a tricky thing to get out of. Good luck!

 

looby - June 9

Forgot to say, our probs didn't really arise till after the birth of our dd.

 

sleeplessinseattle - June 9

I am so sorry that your "man" is acting like such a child. What a jerk. I WISH my childs father would approach me in that manner. I would definitely tell his a__s where to put it. I think your fiancee has a total lack of respect for you tonilee7! I can't believe you would contemplate abortion just to please his selfish desires. I'm not coming down on you, but we go through enough as it is. With hormones, our bodies changing, the TRAUMA of birth...and to have him only thinking of you pleasing him during a time such as you carrying his child is sickening. I'm in my first trimester right now, and my hormones are all over the place and my sweetheart is being more than understanding and supportive. I just can't imagine if he weren't being this great me giving up my precious child so I could make sure his s_xual demands are met. I would forever resent him, and myself for making such a selfish decision. I haven't desired s_x lately either. Our bodies are going through so much...our minds too....try to express that to him. Let him know about your changes, and if he doesn't shape up, I'm afraid you are getting a preview of how immature he is going to handle a lot of issues to come. Because this is just the tip of the iceburg.

 

lexa - June 9

Don't terminate under these circ_mstances! You stated you are only 6 weeks along...is that correct? Many women lose s_xual interest in the first trimester and by the second trimester, they are back to normal. You may want it even more! During the first trimester, your body is busy changing and accomodating the baby growing and developing. You are tired and may or may not have morning sickness. Come the second trimester, all of that has pa__sed along with the tiredness and you will have your energy back. I know this isn't true for everyone, but everyone is different! Please don't terminiate! You said that this is planned, so you both wanted it. It may not be easy now, but it won't be like this all the time. Who's to say if you terminate, you will get another chance at it? You take care of yourself and the baby at this point. Get past the first trimester and see what happens! Good luck!

 

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