I Want Another Baby My Husband Doesn T

41 Replies
TrustedTruth - July 3

You all know exactly what the right answer is but you just don’t want to accept it, thus you write your story here and ask what to do in hopes of finding an answer that does not exist. 1) Suck it up. 2) Deal with it. 3) Move on. Your husband already gave you what you want, be happy with that and he may come around later in life. There are some women whose husbands NEVER give them any children, be grateful. Your man considers another baby heavily with logic and WITHOUT emotion. He has given clear decisive logic why not, (finances, timing, only wanted 1 or 2, etc) but you fail to provide anything other than emotional and illogical 'feelings' and 'desires' for more. "Empty hole in my stomach" come on, that's meaningless imagined emotion. This is where the dissonance occurs and he is correct because logical, rational thoughts and conclusions are always superior to irrational ones based on emotion. You need to work through not getting something you want. In a marriage, it takes TWO people to agree on something to obtain it. If one person does not agree to something, that something simply does not happen. A positive times a negative is ALWAYS a negative. That’s why you married him right? To share together in life experiences? If a husband wants a Lamborghini and a wife says ‘no’, there’s no Lamborghini to be got. Work through it. Resentment is wrong. Simply put, if you really, truly love your husband, you will accept his stance and not resent him. It does not matter if you say you did not want more kids and changed your mind or he said he wanted more kids and changed his mind, both people are allowed to change their minds, and both people have to come to a decision together and agree in order to do it.

 

maggiemay2 - July 4

Hello Baby baby, Let me say this...my heart has been hurting for you since I read your post. It is easy for people to comment that are not currently in this situation, or may not be the same type of person as you are. I was where you were for 4 years and it is heartbreaking and unless you are there and you have that desire to have children as bad as we do, you don't get it. For 4 years I begged and tried to reason with my husband to have a second child. It wasn't until I lost my mother that I truly understood how much I always had wanted a sibling. When you go threw the loss of a parent, no one quite understands those memories or that loss like a sibling could...I was always very fearful my husband would move forward with a vasectomy as well but he never did. I won't lie my husband and I clearly have problems in our marriage that I don't need to share in detail but it isn't roses for sure. Finally after year 4 I started to see a counselor, like you I was heartbroken and had become resentful. The key thing is that we agreed upon 2 -3 children before marriage and for the first two years of our marriage. I completely disagree that you have the right to change your mind on a critical thing like that. Once I started talking to someone it helped me tremendously so if you aren't doing that, it is crazy how talking it out will help you cope better. I am also not the only one that thinks you cannot change your mind on this type of thing. My husband and I do not have financial issues that prevent us from having a child...the real reason is my husband's selfishness and that is hard to cope with. He would rather take vacations and buy new cars than give me and my son another child, this is not the type of person i thought I was marrying or the person he portrayed himself...People can pa__s judgement but we can be deceived easily into marrying someone that they never realized they were and that is my situation... What I really wanted to tell you is I am now in the opposite situation. I am now 12 weeks pregnant and found out we were having a girl yesterday. I somehow thought my husband would cope better than he has but not sure why I would think that, he hated my last pregnancy and frankly is just worried I will put on a lot of weight again. He insisted we do testing to make sure there were no defects (hence why I know the gender so soon). It has been a rough 6 weeks since I found out I was pregnant as I am ecstatic and he is not happy. Did I guilt him into it, I sure did. I refuse to stay in a marriage with someone who clearly loves things more than me or giving me the child he promised me 3 times during our marriage. When I say rough I mean rough, he is still in denial I am pregnant and refuses to talk about it. He has told me numerous times I am too old to have another child and a lot can happen (aka miscarriage, ect). So is it better on the other side, still not sure this is better. I prayed long and hard for this baby girl and I promise to be happy about it...but it has brought out the worst in him. Frankly I think it just shows his true colors and I have to accept the person i married or move on. I will keep you posted on how this goes. I will continue to pray for you and at least I know you where you are and I get the pain you are going threw right now. The gra__s may not be greener but I am still going to enjoy this pregnancy and baby. Best of luck!

 

Baby baby - February 1

maggiemae...just curious how the pregnancy is going/went??

 

KKurth - March 25

Oh my goodness all of your stories spoke volumes to me, Me and my husband have been together for 4 years I have twins(B,G)who are 6 from a previous relationship that we have full custody of, he has 2 children from 2 previous relationships ages 6(g)and 10(b) that we get holidays, summers, and his daughter every other weekend (and possibly 2 more children that the mother's haven't came to him for a DNA test) We've discussed having children I'm 26 and he's 29 and one minute he's all for it and the other minute he's against it, he's afraid that the child is going to have health problems, that we cant afford another child, that I'm going to do like the mother of his 2 other children did to him etc....I'm resentful but I know not to trick him because then he will be resentful, I've tried multiple birth controls and the best one was the depo shot but I had to get off of it because I gained over 50 pounds so we use the pull out method now-every time we do anything I automatically cry every time because I wish he wouldn't pull out in time. He wants to be able to retire in 12 years once the kids we have turn 18 and still have some age left to do stuff, but I always feel like "you had children with these other women, what's wrong with me?" I want a baby so bad, I was going to school for early childhood education and I cant even be around babies now without crying so I haven't been back to finish getting my directors degree. we've had multiple conversations and they always end in raised voices and tears, I've even told him I will go get a full hysterectomy (to help with the debilitating migraines I get) and he always says no wait don't do anything yet but when I try to talk to him to plan since he gave us 5 years its been 4 and he doesn't want to be too old and still raising children he says he doesn't want anymore. I'm so heartbroken and feel like we try our hardest to make all of his dreams come true but none to make mine.

 

KKurth - March 25

Oh my goodness all of your stories spoke volumes to me, Me and my husband have been together for 4 years I have twins(B,G)who are 6 from a previous relationship that we have full custody of, he has 2 children from 2 previous relationships ages 6(g)and 10(b) that we get holidays, summers, and his daughter every other weekend (and possibly 2 more children that the mother's haven't came to him for a DNA test) We've discussed having children I'm 26 and he's 29 and one minute he's all for it and the other minute he's against it, he's afraid that the child is going to have health problems, that we cant afford another child, that I'm going to do like the mother of his 2 other children did to him etc....I'm resentful but I know not to trick him because then he will be resentful, I've tried multiple birth controls and the best one was the depo shot but I had to get off of it because I gained over 50 pounds so we use the pull out method now-every time we do anything I automatically cry every time because I wish he wouldn't pull out in time. He wants to be able to retire in 12 years once the kids we have turn 18 and still have some age left to do stuff, but I always feel like "you had children with these other women, what's wrong with me?" I want a baby so bad, I was going to school for early childhood education and I cant even be around babies now without crying so I haven't been back to finish getting my directors degree. we've had multiple conversations and they always end in raised voices and tears, I've even told him I will go get a full hysterectomy (to help with the debilitating migraines I get) and he always says no wait don't do anything yet but when I try to talk to him to plan since he gave us 5 years its been 4 and he doesn't want to be too old and still raising children he says he doesn't want anymore. I'm so heartbroken and feel like we try our hardest to make all of his dreams come true but none to make mine.

 

alexander12 - April 28

I know this is an old blog but i am 35 yrs old i have a 3 1/2 old daughter we did iui to get her and did ivf the first time it worked but didn't i had delivered by son at 23 weeks due to cervical competence so we lost our son. Then we had two embryos frozen they did not work. I want to try one more time for closure but my husband will not let me. It is very disappointing since he wont even let me talk about it. So, right now he says he wont do fertility treatments but if we have it naturally then he is ok with another child. Which sucks for me caused we have the money to do it one more time but he is not taking advantage of it. This is very hard on our marriage cause if i just say thats fine i would be lying and if i say its not fine we could fall apart in our marriage. I don't know what to do?

 

alexander12 - April 28

I know this is an old blog but i am 35 yrs old i have a 3 1/2 old daughter we did iui to get her and did ivf the first time it worked but didn't i had delivered by son at 23 weeks due to cervical competence so we lost our son. Then we had two embryos frozen they did not work. I want to try one more time for closure but my husband will not let me. It is very disappointing since he wont even let me talk about it. So, right now he says he wont do fertility treatments but if we have it naturally then he is ok with another child. Which sucks for me caused we have the money to do it one more time but he is not taking advantage of it. This is very hard on our marriage cause if i just say thats fine i would be lying and if i say its not fine we could fall apart in our marriage. I don't know what to do?

 

stacebruno910 - January 7

How i got my boyfriend back.My name is Stacey Bruno.I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy %26 a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is atilahealinghome  @ yahoo.  com

 

marygift - February 14

hello my name is mary i was about loosing my man to another lady under the influence of his parents until i met this great spell caster on net who help me out. helped me cast a very stong spell that helped changed his parents mind and also changed the mind of my man and i notice that my man love for me greatly increased. we are hapily married now with kids. people with similar problems can also contact this great spell caster he will be of a great help to you +2348105946159 i assure you that you will be glad you did Good luck

 

loveforum - March 24

Dear Dr Obodo, My husband and I are going to the doctor today as I found out to be POSITIVE yesterday. I am in tears as I write these words. I am sure you get plenty of letter like this every day but I just wanted to thank you for the pregnancy spell and for giving hope to women at my age. I am 46 and I am finally going to be a mother. May god bless you Dr Obodo and your family. Reach Doc for help at [email protected] co. uk "
Emma Yager - Berlin, Germany
 

 

welshv - January 3

Hello
My name is Melena and i am from Texas, i want to give all thanks to Priest Fadhili for helping me to recover my ex back, I  was seriously in a breakup with my ex girl and i think all hope was lost until i was searching the internet and i saw a  testimony that someone shared about Priest Fadhili Chausiku and i choose to contact him also to see if he can still help  me, i gave him a trial but at the end joy and happiness filled my heart, i have never believed in a spell caster because i  have been a victim of fake spell caster, but Priest Fadhili Chausiku made me believe that there are still great spell  caster like him, but I must say people like Priest Fadhili are rare to find,that is why I must not go out from here without  dropping this email address of this great spell caster who helped me get my ex back, so reader if you are out there you are  looking for the help of a spell caster you are advise to contact Priest Fadhili via his email;  priest_fadhili_chausiku at priest dot com once you contact him all your problems will be solved immediately. site is  fadhilichausiku . webs . com

 

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