My Boyfriend Gets Angry Cuz I Dnt Want Sex

3 Replies
Demi - November 12

Basically. i used to say that i didnt want s_x before marraige, he was fyn wid dat. but we broke up and i stupidly lost my virginity with an old friend. soon after we got back 2getha and i told him that i was no longer a virgin. he went mad, and brok up, wid me. i then went out wiv somone else, who he knew about. but i broke up wid the guy and got back wid him. now were 2getha, we still hav not had s_x, and i realised i dont wanna have s_x until im married because i feel still dirty from the sleazy guys. i no what i did was wrong, i keep thinkin how they all used me and threw me away, and i cry night after night , plus i feel really guilty. i get so stressed. ne way the other day me and my bf were talking and i said i dnt want s_x with him yet, and that im scared. and then he said the worst thing, he said.."ur scared to have s_x with someone you love but not scared to have s_x wid someone off the street". basically he threw it back in my face. he told me hed goten over that, i can understand his pain, and obviously hasnt gotten over the fact i lost my virginty to someon else, but now hes made me feel so cheap, and i was bgining 2 4get about those guys and he goes and brings dat up. we love eachother, its just, if i dnt have s_x wid him, i dnt know wat will happen i wanna do it wen im ready. need advice ASAP.

 

BE FAIR - November 16

Hey guys, I don't see why we can't give Demi a fair answer. Demi, I must say, you were on the right course when you decided that you don't want to be s_xually active before marriage. I don't know why you strayed from that path and messed up. You are obviously sorry. I give you credit for that. I can also understand why your bf is upset with you, and you also understand. The only way your boyfriend will understand you right now, is if you actually stick to your "no s_x before marriage" idea. To me it sounds like you are embara__sed of your point of view. And I wouldn't be surprised if you slept with the other two guys just to prove to yourself and your boyfriend that you can actually be the way society wants everyone to be. You obviously didn't get any satisfaction in those experiences. Now you can remain firm in your stance, because you have been on the other side. I think your boyfriend must be a nice person if he stayed with you before you messed up and especially if he went back to you after. You should hang on to him. Tell him that you did act cheap with the other two, just the way he acuses you. It is always good to name things that way they are, but explain to him that you have changed and won't do it again. Also, speak in a mature tone of voice and be firm in what you believe. People respect persons who are firm and unchanging. I hope you two get married. I wish you the best of luck. Please write back and tell me how it went.

 

Demi - November 17

i aint gona have a slanging match with you guys, im more mature than that, END OF!!! to 'be fair', thnx for reading and understanding what im goin thru. i mean, thnx for the advice, thats all i ever wanted from this forum. thnx for your support. well weve sorted things out, he sais hes over it. but time will tell. i agree what your saying bout me standing my ground. i dont want him to leave me, but i have to stand up for what i believe in and not have s_x, which will ruin our relationship. life is so hard reply 'be fair'

 

Med Student - December 9

Do yourself a favor and wait. I've said it before and I'll say it again, there is no such thing as safe s_x. If you have s_x you will get pregnant sooner or later. If he can't deal with your decision then you should think about leaving him. There is nothing wrong from having s_x once, or even more than once, and deciding it's something you don't want to do. You get to make all the decisions about s_x and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Be smart. Wait.

 

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