Anyone Feel Sorry For Dh Or Dbf

20 Replies
kat34 - January 13

my dbf feels like a baby making machine, it is really my fault because i only make love around oday. The rest of the time iam waiting for symtoms and if af comes iam busy moaning and full of depression waiting for next month. does anyone feel the same, or is it just me? Kat

 

Chas - January 13

No, it's not just you !!! My dh told me he just wanted to go natural and quit testing... "it's time" etc.etc..... But, I think our problem is bding on the non-fertile days !!! What's up with that ?? Like I am suppose to O any day now, and I trying to work up a "seduction" without him suspecting. (yeah right ) It really does stress the hubby out... and us too !!! I think that may be some of my problem also. Anyway... sorry to rattle, but I know how you and him both feel !

 

Jeanny - January 13

i too feel sorry for my dh, not only cuz im pretty much sure hes had it up to here with the baby talk but because he too wants children bad and for the past 3 months it all has just been let down after let down...its just cool how after we stress them they still love and comprehend us...baby dust to u all

 

kat34 - January 14

thanks chas and jeanny, if iam not pg this month af due thursday i will not tell my dbf when my oday is. However i think he will know anyway i will perhaps try bding on non fertile days!!!!!

 

Cady - January 14

I hear ya! TTC puts a lot of pressure on the dhs...Chas, I totally understand the trying to sneek up on him approach. I try that too. I think the key will be to remember to seduce him when he knows for sure I;m not fertile....so as to throw him off! My poor dh also suffers from performance anxiety on and off....which is horrible when it's the day you know you're going to o! But, I do but him first and if it ever got too streefull for us I would start hiding my charts and acting like I wasn't paying attention to my fertile days. They shoukd give out Oscars for these perfromances! =) Baby Dust to all!

 

Chas - January 14

yeah, its always seems like we/he is in the mood when I am not fertile. Go figure! I told him we have to do it Monday morning before I go to the doc for the post-coital test, He didn't seemed to enthused about "timed"s_x! I can understand though. The good thing is, that Monday is probably O day. (from past cycles, it's usually day 11) I kind of want to get one in on him before that though for good measure !!! I work 12 hour shifts this weekend, and usually not in the mood, so if I go home tonight and start putting on the moves, he'll know something is up !! lol

 

Cady - January 14

Chas, that sounds so much like me and dh! I told him we are bding tomorrow am and monday am for good measure, so he better be ready. He looked at me like I was very bossy. This morning was terrible b/c he unknowingly and innocently said, "I think I'm going to get up now" before we had bd. I'd been atttacking him each am this entore week and I thought that he might like to initiate things on a leisurely sat am when neither one of us needed to work. Well, the thing about it was that I knew that o-day was probably today and I also knew that he was having permonce anxiety so I was completely torn...do I let him get up or do I tell him we need to have s_x....seducing him wasn't working. We had an arguement andf he said "Well, let's get this over with" and we both looked at eachother and started laughing about the aburdity of the statement. We had the most fun bding this morning that we had all week, ironically! I think next both, I might not tell him when the fertile times are. TTC is stressful, but also fun! And with you working 12 hour shifts, well, you kinda have to schedule bding, right? I've been told that after we get our bfps (please god please!!!!) the s_x will return to "normal" and "natural"....it still amazes me how easy it seems to be for 15 year olds to get knocked up in the backseat of a car, but how many months/years it takes 2 people in a committed relationship to conceive!

 

Chas - January 14

yep, that sounds just like us too !!! That is so funny. Last month we got into an argument about the whole thing and missed the whole fertile window!! This month, I haven't said one word, except for the Monday morning Bd because of the test. But he doesn't know it has to be around O for that, so he may be completely clueless. I just feel really bad sometimes that I have to "force" him it seems like. It's like last weekend, we were doing it all over the place(lol) and now it's the time and I am working all weekend. !! It always seems to happen that way. I don't know what God has in store for us, but I guess it's his will that will or will not make this happen !!! I'll let ya know how tonight goes ! I'm going to try the whole seduction thing, we'll see if he knows what's up ! lol

 

Cady - January 14

You go seduce him, girl! lol! BTW, if you don't mind my asking, what is the postcoital test you're having Monday for? Have you been ttc for long? For us it's been about 6 months. For a few of them, my dh traveled smack dab in the middle of the fertile week. Like you said, it does seem to be in the hands of a greater force than us. I do have the feeling that the minute I give up trying I'll get pregnant. Can't say I didn't try this month....I pounced on poor sleeping dh for the last 7 mornings in a row! lol! BABY DUST!!!!

 

Chas - January 14

LOL :) That is funny !!! that's how we did the month before last... I think that is when dh decided for me not to tell him anymore! (we bd'd like 8 days in a row, didn't work :( we have been ttc for 13 months. The test is we have to have intercourse, then I go to doc within 10 hrs for him to look at the sperm and mucus together, to make sure my cm is "sperm friendly" I always see watery and stretchy cm, so I'm not that worried about it. I just think we haven't had the perfect timing yet. I really hope so !! cause everything else is good. We are only 30 and ttc first baby...

 

Cady - January 14

I'm sure you're cm is sprem friendly=) Reminds me of a S_x in the City episode I saw when Charlotte found out her v____a was attacking Trey's sperm... it was funny in the show...but now I don't think it's so funny anymore. Good luck! I'm glad you found the other thread Anyone Ovulating 01/16 (16/01). Please let us know how things go at the doctor's.

 

Chas - January 14

Thanks Cady ! and I did see that episode, i forgot about that ! (yeah, not so funny now) I will let ya know about the doc on Monday !!

 

Patti - January 14

I used to do the same with my dh when trying to conceive in the past. This last time, I didn't hint at all that I was o'ing. I just came on to him big time so that he wouldn't feel the pressure of ttc. Also, make sure you orgasm too, it helps. Anyway, it worked and I am just about 7 weeks. It could be a fluke, but I believe it helped w/ only one of us thinking about baby making at the time. Good luck!!

 

kat34 - January 16

LOL hahaha what a good thread to rant our frustrations girls. My dbf is working away the next two weeks and i found myself sraight at my diary checking my dates lol. He comes back just in time!. he must know my oday because he was really quiet when he told me. I replied it's ok absence makes the heart grow fonder hahaha Kat xx

 

frankschick2001 - January 16

Kat34, as you can see, its not just you. My dbf called our last time in bed a "science project". I too seem to only be concerned with s_x around ovulation time, and I can't imagine that feels very good for the boyfriends and husbands. It stresses both of us out big time. It cant be very romantic when I am standing at the top of the stairs yelling down "get up here! It'll only take a minute, I'll put the Sopranos on for you!!"

 

kat34 - January 18

hi frankschick, you are right it's not just me, your answer really made me laugh especially the science project. My af is due tomorrow and iam feeling very stressed i know its bad to stres but i cant help it. Kat x

 

kat34 - January 19

well my due date is today for af. it hasnt come yet still got my fingers crossed and toes. i got tingles in b___bs which is a good sign kat x

 

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