Date Rape Missed Period

15 Replies
Give me Hope - March 13

My ex-boyfriend as of many months came in my house one night, and raped me. It has been an emotional battle. And as of about 2 days ago I missed my period. I am scared I am pregnant with his child. I have lower back pains, and headaches, and fatigue, and stomach pains as well. Anything would be good...

 

franny - March 13

go to a doctor

 

Bethany - March 14

I echo Franny's advice. See a doctor and find out if you're pregnant. If you are pregnant, go ahead with the pregnancy and if necessary put the baby up for adoption (I've known people who were adopted and said they were grateful that their biological parents let them live and cared that much for them that they'd want them to have a loving family if their biological family couldn't care for them). Rape is horrible, and if you need anybody to talk to I'm here.

 

Chic1 - March 14

I'm so sorry to hear of your awful experience. The same thing happened to me with an ex-boyfriend so I know how hard it is but all the best for moving on with your life-it is possible! As for the pregnancy, those are all potential symptoms so I would seek medical advice asap and if you are pregnant make sure you do what is right for YOU-whether keeping it, abortion, adoption etc. I would also seriously advise talking to the police as no-one has the right to get away with rape and it helped me get some closure. Good luck-x-

 

Bethany - March 14

Chic1--While MOST of your advise was right on, I have to disagree with you on the abortion thing. It's not the baby's fault she was raped, no reason to kill it, and that's what abortion is. By going through with the pregnancy she would show a love and a grace more powerful than the rape. Giving it up for adoption if she can't care for it herself is also one of the most loving things she could do. My family used to work with an adoption agency and we'd have unwed mothers stay at our house while they got ready to have the baby and sometimes even after the baby was born. I've talked to people who were adopted and they say they are most grateful to their birth-parents for NOT aborting them. They know it wasn't easy for their birth-parents, but they are now grown up, happy and grateful for the second chance they got. Rape is wrong, abortion is wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right. Also, I have heard of stories of doctors, nurses and women who have had abortions having horrible nightmares and horrid memories from it. So, that's another reason NOT to have an abortion.

 

em - March 14

abortion is a bad choice. A baby's heart is already beating. If you abort it, that is murder. My aunt was adopted. We would not hae her in the family if her mother had chosen abortion. Even if you can not take care of the baby yourself there is someone out there who can.

 

to Give me Hope - March 14

The best thing to do is go to the Dr and have your self checked out. was this rape reproted and was there a kit done for you? I think you should try and take this one step at a time and deal with things as they come up. After you know what the results are from the Dr. then you can start thinking of the next step. - wish you all the best.

 

to bethany & em - March 14

Bethany - I see your point of view and understand what you are saying but if you are here to give advice to people don't tell them what they have to do based on what you belive in - who is to say your way is right and the only way things should be? I too have had many adoptions and some abortions in my family. The one thing i have learned is that adoption is not for everyone and sometimes abortion is a better choice for that individual. And vis versa - abortion is not for everyone either! It really depends on the person and no one else should be telling them what's best for them! When the time comes she will know what is best for her. And em - you have no idea how far along in her pregnancy she is - there is no heart beat until the 8-9 week of the pregnancy.

 

tara - March 14

I'm so sorry to hear what has happend to you. I can only imagine what you are going through right now. These signs can also be sign of stress. Was this to be your first period after that? If you are under a lot of stress you can miss your period as well. But you should go to the Dr to get a pregnancy test done and find out for sure. I also suggest that you should tell the autorities about this if you havn't done so already. Good luck.

 

Bethany - March 15

To whoever was address me and Em-- I won't apologize for what I said or my advice. I won't be silent about what's true. Abortion is murder plain and simple. No matter what my beliefs are, that is the truth. And it is the job of every honest person to stand up for the truth even if they are standing alone. I've been afraid to stand up for what is right before because I was afraid of people not liking me. Well, the truth is often unpopular and often people don't want to hear the truth. And nobody can change the truth about abortion. It IS murder and to have an abortion is wrong. Plain and simple. While I respect you as a person, some of what you said is not true and I can't be silent about the truth. And you can't tell me abortion has no consequences! I've read too much and a friend of mine went through a lot of pain because of abortion. There are adoption agencies, places that will help unwed mothers get through the pregnancy and go through the adoption. No woman has to walk it alone. I have access to phone numbers of places that will help unwed mothers go through pregnancy and adoptions for anybody who's interested.

 

emily - March 15

If abortion is murder, then miscarriage is suicide, right?? There is no heartbeat at 4 weeks, it is a clump of cells. I respect your opinions but everybody has a choice. Just don´t be so extremist!!

 

to Give me Hope - March 15

I am so sorry that you've had to go through this awful experience. Some of the advice that you've been given, you should follow, for example, please go see your Doctor and if you are pregnant, FOLLOW YOUR HEART! You are the only one who knows what is best for you. Everyone has different opinions about adoption or abortion etc, you should do whatever you feel is right and what you will be able to live with. If you are able to put this awful experience aside and not a__sociate your child with it, then that will be your choice, but again, It's your future!! Please see a Clinical Therapist to help deal with the trauma of the rape and I agree with whoever told you to go the police, if you are strong enough to make this person pay for the wrong that have done, you should do it! If he got away with it once, he will do again to some other poor girl! Good luck to you!!

 

tara - March 15

Nothing we do in this life is with out consequence - including both abortion and adoption. There are facts to face with both of those choices that one should fully investigate before making a decision. In this very case here I don't think it will be selfish of her to put her self first and foremost then decide what is right for her to do. I won't even get in to the discussion of is abortion murder or not - that's a matter of opinion vs science and each individual should be able to think about and decide on this for them self.

 

Bethany - March 16

Emily--Abortion is murder, however that does NOT make miscarriage sucide. Miscarriage is a completely different situation. Abortion is terminating a pregnancy on purpose. Terminating a pregnancy on purpose (i.e. abortion) is murder because all the cells are alive, and from conception these cells form a living being. Miscarriage comes from things that are beyond control. Sometimes the body isn't healthy enough to carry the baby. Sometimes something malfunctions and causes a miscarriage. These are unintentional. Abortion is intentional. Here's something: Think about someone dying from a heart attack...the heart malfunctions and in some cases it can't be fixed. In miscarriage something malfunctions and can't be helped.

 

question - March 16

Bethany so how can you call that murder if something can not even survive on it's own? I just think murder is a bit of a strong word to use. I know you are trying to get point across - but calling it murder is a bit much.

 

emily - March 16

exactly.

 

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