Does Your Mom Say The Wrong Thing

8 Replies
linds99 - May 2

Has anyone's mom told you or gave you terrible advice or offer no encouragement whatsoever with trying to conceive. I am getting completely frustrated that I can't talk to my own mother about this issue because she thinks I should stop temping and lose the monitor and let it happen naturally. She told me yesterday " I got pregnant no problem" I just thought that was so insensitive, like she was rubbing it in my face or something...she has not said anything encouraging to me about this and now I just want to shut her out...what do you all think? Anyone have the same mom issues?

 

Amber #2 - May 2

My mom is always extremely pessimistic about every situation. She, however, does not see it that way. She just thinks that she's realistic. By her being that way, she has turned me into an eternal optimistic person but I cannot stand all of the negativity. She makes sure and points out the bad in every situation (including my TTC endeavors). So yes, I do understand what you are talking about. My advice to you is to not shut her out of your life but just shut her out of the ttc issue. I have decided that when I get preggo again, my mother will not know about it until 2nd trimester b/c I do not want to hear all of my statistics of a m/c over and over again, lol!

 

Amber #2 - May 2

With everything that I just said, my mother is my best friend and I don't know what I would do without her!

 

Amber #2 - May 2

typo - *eternal optimistic person b/c I cannot stand*

 

jeanette - May 2

I would love my Mom to say anything...anything at all. She died when I was 4yrs old...

 

soimpatient - May 2

I haven't really had my family say things as harsh as your stories but I try not to talk about TTC with them because I'm sure that if I did they would say something hurtful.The one thing that I do hear (that I hate) is "your still so young"...hello, does that really matter? And I don't think that 25 is really THAT young?

 

Amber #2 - May 2

Soimpatient-25 is DEFINITELY not too young to have a child! I get that from mine too..... Linds-I am so sorry to hear what you have been through with your mother. My mom has always been my #1 supporter, she has just had negative comments to make all along the way. I know that nobody roots for me behind the scenes like she does...it can just be frustrating to only hear her negative words instead of her positive. Have you ever told your mom how you feel? I know it would be pretty hard but maybe she doesn't understand how her words hurt you.

 

linds99 - May 2

We're fighting right now because I asked her yesterday why she does that stuff. I asked her nicely and she went off on me. I am so upset, my husband thinks she is a hard one to understand and he feels bad for me...I just think I am going to keep all this ttc stuff between me and him for now on and not say squat to her. Maybe she will get the picture then. My mom also has "jealous" tendancies, not necessarily to me, but I see it to others, that bothers me, because I don't always think her intent is "good", I'm torn because I love my mom because she is my mom, but I just can't stand her sometimes, most of the time, because of the way she acts.

 

oz - May 3

my mum is a real mumsy type mum and i love her to bits howevera she has been begging for grandchildren since i started getting serious with my partner (over 8 years now), At first we use to fob her off and say "yeh in about 5 years" anyway every xmas my aunty, gran and mum will start on us about it and say "only 2 more years". Well the 5 years have come and gone and we are only now at that stage where we are seriously considering it ( a few issues to sort through but it will save it for another time). We have decided i will not mention it to her when we do start ttc as i feel it will be too much pressure to have her constantly asking "are you pregnant yet" every time i speak to her and i think it would put more pressure on me.

 

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