HELP -pg117116379039

65 Replies
babygurl_00 - February 10

i am two months pregnant and it was not planned infact we were using protection. Now that i am though i am a little excited and i do not want to have an abortion, mostly because it is against all my major morals. But my boyfriend is in university right now and has decided that me keeping this baby is me trying to ruin our relationship. He says he will drop out of scool and resent me for ever if i do this. I cant even imagine giving this baby up though. What sould i do??? I love my boyfriend more then ever, but i cant have an abortion without seriously regreting it??? Help!!!

 

LIN - February 11

You need to do what you need to do, and if you think you'll regret it, then don't do it. Life is too short for regrets. But think very hard about why you think you'll regret it. I had an abortion when I was a teenager, and it was one of the best decisions of my life. It was very important to me not to have kids with the wrong person (which it would have been) and not to give up all the experiences I wanted to get out of my youth. Of course, I'm not saying that it's the decision you should make - only you can say that - but if you're going to consider it as an option, just make sure you think long and hard about what you want out of life. By the way, I have morals as well, but I don't see a conflict between that and abortion, because there is no reasonable argument for abortion being murder. It simply is not. That's just a guilt trip argument that anti-abortion people make. Best of luck whatever you do!

 

KeiraYvette - February 11

Darl I think its your body and ultimately your decision. There are alot of things you will have to take into consideration, espec if your relationship falls apart as his not supportive... look deep inside and you will find the answer..

 

krissy2006 - February 11

Lin, because there is still a HUGE argument and no one can say whether one side or the other is right please refrain from stating what you believe as fact. **That abortion isn't murder** while you know that I believe the exact opposite I will not tell you that It JUST SIMPLY IS! Because there isn't enough studies on either side. So as you have requested many times on this forum, I request of you that you do not state your opinions/beliefs as fact. Thanks... As for you Babygurl, I have to say that I understand your dilemma about morals and where abortion comes in, but ultimately the decision to have or not have an abortion needs to be YOUR decision. Not because your boyfriend is giving you a guilt trip. If it is in your heart and soul to be a mother than don't let anything he says deter you. Also, if you feel that abortion is your only option and you simply cannot bring a life into this world and you can't find it in your heart to give that life to someone who desperately wants but can't have children than all the more power to you. (That was not meant to be a guilt trip or a lecture from a soap box) I truly mean that you need to find your answer in your heart. Don't allow outside sources to dictate what you do. Allow opinions, accept what you will and discard the rest. All the luck in the world to you. ~Krissy

 

LIN - February 11

There's no such thing as a "study" to determine if abortion is murder or not. There are only rational arguments. Just like women state on this site that there's a god as if it was fact, you're d__n right I will state that abortion is not murder as a fact. I'll quit doing so just as soon as women stop talking about a god as if it exists. As for her boyfriend's "guilt trip," it's ridiculous to call it that. He has a responsibility, feelings and an opinion on the matter, and just because he doesn't want the baby doesn't mean he's giving a "guilt trip." He's ent_tled to feel the way he does just like she's ent_tled to feel the way she does. You're letting your opinion on abortion guide your advice here.

 

krissy2006 - February 11

No Lin, when someone tells you, if you do this, then I'm gonna do this . . . that is an ultimatum and ultimately a guilt trip or attempt to control the situation. IT IS NOT HIS decision at all. It is hers. Its her body and its would be her baby if she chose to keep it. It has NOTHING to with him until it actually enters the world. As for my opinion guiding my advice, how is that so? I told her she needed to do what she needed to do because she needed to do it. How is that letting my opinion guide my advice? If my opinion were to guide my advice I would say something along these line, "how dare you think of killing an innocent life when it was your own d__n fault for creating it." Ok that would have been rude and that would have been my opinion guiding my advice. Now I don't rub it in your face that I believe in God so don't step up on that soap box and preach to me that you're gonna rub it in mine that there is fact to abortion = murder. It is an opinion as far as you can throw it and you know that.

 

tryin44 - February 11

I agree with you Krissy. It is babygurls decision. As for is abortion murder. That is up to each person to make that decision. I know a girl whos mom tried to abort her. She now has no arms because at 11 weeks they failed to kill her in her mothers womb. Now what would be the explanation if she was not hear today because of this abortion. She is a live but could have been dead. How is that not murder. Her mother agrees and feels terrible because she didn't understand the facts about abortion. I suggest people stop keeping a closed self centered mind on the fact.. Watch some videos of cameras inside the womb while an abortion is happening. Watch what the baby does and goes through and it will change your views. It is horrible. ift doesn't, I am sorry for you. I'm sure this will start a big YELL at me discussion but simply +I DON"T CARE!!! I just think people choose to not research because it is easier to blindly go through life not wanting to deal with thios huge problem of abortion, teenage s_x and the propaganda of do what feels good to you and deal with the consequences with only you in mind. Point is you big enough to play ADULT games then you take adult decisions and responsibilities. People are so selfish. How could somthing with a beating heart not be alive and therefore how could stopping that beating heart not be murder. Oh Yeah, it is proven that when that heart is being aborted, it DOES feel pain. Like I said do research for yourself, stop listening to what others believe. Watch the videosof these poor babies. You can see their mouths open and they try to get away from the suctions or whatever else is envading their safe little home.

 

Laceyandsamsmamma - February 11

babygurl if you dont want to give up the baby then that is your decision you should follow your heart. If your DB doesnt agree then tell him that he doesnt have to be apart of that childs life. There is no reason you two cant finish school while rasing a child. I have attened college while pregnant with both my kids. If he were smart man he would say I will finish college so we can support this baby and it may be hard at first but we can do it together. But My advice to you is that if you want to keep the baby if that is what your heart says then keep the baby and if he can't except that then maybe you need to set him free and raise that baby alone. Dont let him make a decision for you no matter what it is you would regret not doing what you want. But if you dont believe in abortion and cant raise the baby maybe you should look in to open adoption, some people will adopt your baby and allow you to still be apart of their lives but not raise the baby. That way you know your child is in a loving enviroment and knows who you are. Good Luck

 

Laceyandsamsmamma - February 11

here is one thing to ponder about for those arguing on this poor girls thread. Why must people push there beliefs on others? Why must you argue over them? This girl didnt ask if abortion was ok or not she asked what she should do about her boyfriend and her baby. The fact that YOU believe or dont believe in abortion or god is not relavant. In america we have a choice whether you believe in it or not we have a choice and whether it is right or wrong america is based on having a choice. There are millions of people who don't believe in god why should those of us who do tell them they can't have the choice to abort. They have the Choice to believe in god and they have a choice to abort. Our nation is built on choices and beliefs and everyone is ent_tled to theirs and I don' t think that anyone should sit here and fight over or try and change one persons belief. the fact thateveryone has a different opinion makes us who we are and this girl should be allowed to hear every opinion without them being critized or argued over. My thought is present your opinion and facts and leave it at that. If you dont agree with someone else let it go it isnt your question to fight and argue over let her decide what she believes and let her read the facts and make her decision without the henpicking!

 

leelee76 - February 11

geesh tryin44...talk about close minded yourself, its like you basically just said.."its your decision..but before you do watch some abortion videos?" seriously this is your advice? do you have any children already? is this what you would say to them? you're the worst advice giver i have ever encountered and an idiot. BABYGURL this is your life,your body, your future. your boyfriend aside CAN you take care of this baby alone? what is your situation? are you willing to sacrfice anything you might have had planned for what YOU want to do with your life??? a baby is FOREVER and is a huge undertaking especially alone. maybe talk to a counsellor, do some research on single parenting, abortion, adoption etc...find someone to talk to, a parent, teacher, counsellor etc...most importantly IGNORE all the pushy garbage people will shove in your face and make the best decision for you that you can...good luck to you.

 

Laceyandsamsmamma - February 11

exactly leelee Iso agree with you on this one. good advice!

 

LIN - February 11

I am incredibly disappointed at those who say that the decision is her decision alone. What an incredibly female-centric viewpoint. It is THEIR decision. It is his choice just as much as it is her choice, and the final decision is one they must come to TOGETHER. I'm not going to get into the abortion debate, because all that's going on here is some ignorant slinging of propaganda. This thread wasn't for an abortion debate anyway. The only reason why I stated my position on the matter is because babygurl said that it went against her morals, which implied that morals must be compromised for abortion.

 

babygurl_00 - February 11

Thanks for everyones input, I think what is going to really need to happen is me and my boyfriend are really goning to have to sit down and talk in depth about it. Perhaps he should come with me to a few appointments to talk to mt doctors about it, as well as maybe if he hears the heart beat he will see how alive the baby actually is and that we cant just kill such a beautiful thing.

 

tryin44 - February 11

Yes, I have three children. If you read my post I said ultimitally it is her decision. I pointed out the fact however, do your research yourself, Don't do or not do things because others say it is ok or not ok. Why is it whenever someone talks about prolife they automatically think god lovers? Would one believe only god lovers have a conscience not to KILL a innocent fetus. Part of the reason I would be what you people call pro life is because I have three children. I felt it grow in me and I know it was a living being. I have counseled MANY women who are having a terrible time in life vbecause of their choice to have an abortion. I am not closed minded I have just seen the horrible effects it CAN have on many women (not all). Alot of women do fine with the decision to have an abortion until they actually go through with carying a baby and giving birth to a child. Yes, I believe women who are thinking of an abortion should look at what it does to a fetus and not go into it blindly. What ios wrong with being fully informed. I know people think ignorence is bliss but in this case it is not. If after fully looking into it one makes the decision to go through with it than so be it, we live in a country with choices and I never said my opinion was the only one. Everynone is ent_tled to theirs. I would say to poor babygurl that if she is already feeling like she does not want to have an abortion that she would have a great chance for issues with her decision down the road. Like I said some people don't have a prblem with it. And I say to each is own just but if it is not for you don't let people pressure you into it. There would be much deeper issues than simply regretting it. Again good luck with whatever decision YOU make.

 

krissy2006 - February 11

Leelee, while you may not agree with trying44 (which in a round about way says you don't agree with me, which is ok BUT . . .) you show just how immature you are by stating the following: " geesh tryin44...talk about close minded yourself, its like you basically just said.."its your decision..but before you do watch some abortion videos?" seriously this is your advice? do you have any children already? is this what you would say to them? you're the worst advice giver i have ever encountered and an idiot." ----- Do you really have to sink to insults in order to get your point across? I think that was completely uncalled for. . . . . Sarah, I feel (though I may be wrong) that you were specifically pointing a finger at me when you said "Why must people push there beliefs on others? Why must you argue over them? This girl didnt ask if abortion was ok or not she asked what she should do about her boyfriend and her baby. The fact that YOU believe or dont believe in abortion or god is not relavant." If it was directed at me I wanted to make one thing clear. I was not stating my beliefs as fact nor pushing my beliefs on anyone. On the contrary I was trying to make Lin realize that her beliefs are in fact, NOT fact and therefore should not be conveyed as such. LIN, when a man ultimately wants to abort a child and the mother does not, it becomes out of his hands. It is HER body, HER baby AND HER life. If he is just as well without a child and she wants the child he may as well not have a choice in the matter. Just my opinion. As I have said before, take it with a grain of salt. This is a discussion forum and we are discussing. Fighting and name calling (ahem) is not necessary and highly immature.

 

tryin44 - February 11

By the waqy leelee76......tryin44......get it

 

krissy2006 - February 11

Sorry LIN that last sentence was not directed at you.

 

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