How To Tell My Friend PLEASE HELP

4 Replies
tritty - June 4

i have a great friend who has been ttc for 6 or 7 years. she has tried several cycles of ivf which resulted in one pregnancy and a miscarriage a few weeks later. they are now going through the process of adoption but still desperately want a child. i am much younger than her (i'm 24 and she's 40) and she keeps telling me that i'm too young for a family, etc. well, my dh and i just found out we are expecting (a biig suprise) and we want to tell her before we tell everyone so she's not too crushed? for some reason i feel so guilty but i want to be able to enjoy these moments. any advice?

 

Nell4Him - June 4

Have a sit down and explain it to her in a quite corner of a coffee shop or something. I have a friend who had been ttc for 5 years and I also ended up pregnant unexpedidly. I just sat her down, just the two of us and said, "you know how I had stopped taking birth control?" And she got all excited right away and said "You're Pregnant?!!!" She was really happy for us and told me not to feel bad and not to leave anything out about the pregnancy... she wanted to know all of the good and the bad things about being pregnant. The whole way to delivery. And now, 2.5 years later, low and behold she is getting her baby and the situation has flipped. I had a miscarriage 3 months ago and am hoping for my bfp this month. If you truly have a great friendship, then just ask her if she want's to be a part of the pregnancy. Good luck in both the friendship and the pregnancy. Congratulations.

 

Danielle26 - June 4

I agree with Nell4Him. I'm sure she'll take it better than you might think. I know my friend is almost 5 months now and I was just so excited for her I didn't even think about how I felt.

 

tritty - June 4

thanks ladies for your input. i actually feel a lot better about the whole situation now. i think that i'm making it worse than it is and i probably feel worse for her than she'll feel for herself. i just want her dreams of being a biological mother to come true! the fact of the matter is that they're getting further along in adoption and they're very excited about that. i'll take your advice, starbucks here we come :)

 

Nell4Him - June 5

Good for you. I hope it all goes well. BTW, my friend (being pregnant and still worried she might lose it.. 20weeks now) Really likes the steamers. It's basically steamed milk with shots of your choice of flavor. =) Completely baby safe!

 

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